Black Friday and Cyber Monday

Deals! Deals! Deals!

Buy this. Buy now.

Limited time only...

Chiiiiiile, bye. These shopping shenanigans stay doing the absolute mostest (and yes, I meant 'mostest'). From Black Friday dipping into Thanksgiving Day and Cyber Monday starting the Saturday before. I know times are tough, the seasons and other things change, but a 'day' is still only a specific 24-hour period. Friday is Friday and Monday is Monday; black, white, online, or off...they don't change.

These shopping holidays [read: gimmick days] are unbelievably entertaining: from the way consumers line up, camp out, and act like raging fools over limited supply, cheaply-priced, about-to-be-phased-out-or-discontinued products to re- and e-tailers trying to lure you into purchases with 'deeply discounted' marketing and advertising. Hi-la-ri-ous!

From the commercials and print advertisements I've seen along with the influx of promotional emails; many of the special sales are pretty much sans special. Far too many are identical repurposed  Friends & Family sales specials from a few weeks prior. I just knew I'd had enough when a luxury retailer send an email advertising their Cyber Monday special as Free Gift-Wrapping. After realizing I would have preferred for them to use the term "complimentary" in lieu of 'free,' I wanted to toss my laptop around the room, but quickly realized that the computers being promoted for the special days had lower specs than my current machine and a higher price tag. No losing to win there.

In short, stop acting like you've never gone shopping before and giving into the hype; retail employees would like to spend time with their families and enjoy the holidays. Shop strategically; it may be promoted as the best sale price, but the lowest price may actually occur at another time. Also, do a cost/time analysis -- will the cost outweigh the amount of time and energy you consumed waiting for stores to open, waiting in lines, and wrangling yourself through hordes of people?

Shopping Seasons's Greetings!

In The Woods With Cheet-ahs

Searching for the next conquest...always on the prowl...prey...victims being torn to pieces.

CHEETAHS.

While the beautiful animals who roam in the wild are vicious, I'm talking about their equally powerful and destructive counterparts...men (and women) who cheat on their significant others.

CHEATERS.

Same actions; different emotions, different outcomes.

A cheetah's behavior is one of instinct and based on survival. What explains the behavior of a cheater? Some have argued both instinct and survival. Do I need to point out that I don't buy either; especially the survival?

We've heard of people who done it; some of us know people who've done it, some maybe doing it or have done it. I am not a cheater, I have never cheated; therefore, I'm clueless to the world and life of a cheater. I welcome the enlightenment. Why cheat? What entices or contributes to your actions? What do you get from it; is there a reward? Many are secretive about their cheating endeavors; why? Is there shame? Why not free yourself from your current situation before roaming the land?

I welcome everyone (bystanders, victims, prey, willing participants [that's an entirely different post], etc) to chime in; to those who cheat or have cheated...an open invitation.

Join me at my table...let's discuss.

Let's Talk About Sex

Sex.
You know it? (I'm hoping for a 'yes.')
You've had it? (Keeping my fingers crossed.)
Good...let's talk about it. Okay, maybe not about IT, but something in relation to it.

Like: why does sex make people lose their damn minds? I'm not talking about game time "I'm in a state of euphoria I can't think straight." I'm talking about pregame, full-blown, kray-kray crazy!

Is it the lack of sex or the hunt for sex that puts people in a whole new, leveled-up element. All of this multiple personalities and fifty shades of nonsense is too much. I can't take it...and the dating world doesn't seem to be handling it well, either.

I'll admit: I've tried pretty much every form of dating and have met folks through all of them. While many of the methods have sucked, so have many of the dates, and most of the people I've gone on dates with, but...I digress.  The most interesting and entertaining aspect of it was stumbling upon a few of those I've gone on dates with on a few of the other platforms.

•  Example: Mama's Big Rusty Baby
• Let's say I'm introduced to Mama's Big Rusty Baby via a friend/coworker; we chat, we connect, we go on a date...I no longer speak to that friend/coworker, change my SSN, move out of state, and have my mail/email marked "undeliverable."  I then run across MBRB at a lounge/bar, at a sporting/social event, and on an online dating site.

Four different environments with MBRB and four different personalities; each belonging to MBRB...all with one goal: sex. Aside from them doing and saying things from another planet and only makes sense to logical sense to them, additional craziness comes about when you try to put all of these personalities together to form one person; each personality has a different mindset, different interests, and different beliefs...and remember it's all the same person. Each encounter puts a blank stare on your face, because you have no idea what to think of this person, while they swear they are being cute, persuasive, irresistible, flattering, and about to get them "some."

What goes on in people's minds when it's clouded with sex? Common sense does not seem to exist when the possibility or pursuit of sex is present. Randy Gage once said, "When you let your sexual thoughts control you, you lose all focus and purpose."

I can kinda see it; people end up all over the place...doing and saying things they really should not be, but think it's all peaches and cream. Even the professional quacks know that you gradually unleash the whackness over a period of time; not all at once or over a two-week time span.

Meanwhile, back in Myville, I'm trying to figure out how to process all of this and still see them as normal. It. Just. Doesn't. Work. It's pretty much an overload...and near impossible. I've given some the benefit of the doubt; only to be reminded that crazy is abundantly available.

At which point and where does one present their true self to someone they are trying to get to know...and have sex with? You know, when do people really put the real them on display and become that comfortable, natural sexy? The real key to getting that mind-blowing sex that really makes you kray-kray for sugary snacks.

Friend(s) vs Friend(ly)

Yes, there's a difference. Do you know it?

As defined by Dictionary.com:

• Friend: [noun] a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
• Friendly: [adjective] characteristic of or befitting a friend; showing friendship

Many people either don't know, fail to realize, or are incapable of exhibiting a solid demonstration of what it takes and means to be a friend; a real friend. Friendships require cultivation, an investment of energy and intimacy (self and trust), and time to grow and blossom. Maintenance is then necessary for it to be sustained. Neither a fort nor a foundation are built overnight; likewise, affection and personal regard for another takes times to build and solidify.

As for being "friendly," most execute these characteristics effortlessly; and don't get me started on those other categories (i.e., acquaintance, associate, that's just someone who...) as those affiliations are accomplished with such precision they are impeccably flawless. To be friendly, all it really takes is a smile, a wave, and possibly the occasional "hello."

Know what you want.
Know what you can give. 
Know what you deserve. 
Know how someone best fits into your life...if at all.

"I'm Busy" is Illegal Tender

Maybe it's just another one of my "standards" (and you better have some) things, but I accept Visa, American Express (Black Card accepted with open arms), and on the rare occasion; Mastercard (with proper photo identification). So, tell me...why do people (especially those who try to get up all in my kitchen drooling to lick the batter from my bowl) look at me like I'm stuck-on-stupid when I tell them their "I'm busy" (or some other whack or weak variation of it) excuse is unacceptable?

Chile, bye! Get your life together...and do not come at me with foolishness!

You can only be too bus for so long; it's all about proper and effective time management. More than likely, it would only take a brief moment (you know...an instant) to do whatever you are dreading or to grow a set (as in "confidence") to say what you really should be saying.

No one is too busy to do something they want or need to do. Now, let that sit, marinate, and percolate.

Too busy? Dust yourself off, try again, and come correctly. I'm not having it; period, full stop.

*note: this applies for when "I'm busy" is used far too often and has gone beyond a reasonable length of time. Depending on the circumstances, anything over a week is beyond a reasonable duration of time...in my opinion.

PSA: Brand New

Don't try to act "brand new" when you're tired, worn, and raggedy as hell; train wrecks are not cute. #BehaveAppropriately

Break-Ups: Things of the Past?

All good things must come to an end; true. This happens most with our relationships; personal relationships tend to end in crueler ways than professional relationships. Based upon how severely the ending of personal relationships can affect us, many never realize that how we separate ourselves from our relationships is key. Depending upon how the process is executed, it can make one wonder if it was ever actually good to start off with.

Breaking-up is hard to do...according to that old saying...but apparently it's not. People do it all the time: packing up and moving out while the "old ball and chain" is away from home, disappearing and ceasing communication, and the latest trend...updating the Facebook relationship status to "single" (alerting your friends before informing your partner). Prime examples that far too many people are stupid as hell and have lost their damn minds! Who does stuff like this? RAISE YOUR HAND! Who dates people like this? STAND UP! Who knows people like this? SHOUT! (I hope you can hear me cause I'm yelling like a banchee!) Where do we find these people? Can we please quarantine, keep them there, and forget about them? They can have each other! I know you're saying that's mean and cruel {Personally, I don't see a problem.}, but just imagine...world peace and harmony. {smile}

But, seriously, The Break-up...what happened it to? We're now in a world of "I just want to be friends," "we can use some space," "I'm seeing someone else," and "'Facebook User123abc' has changed their relationship status to 'single'" ... all via text, email, or the internet. WTH! I mean, seriously? Seriously! We have lost it as a people. We need to get it together, do better, and get right! As for the simpletons who aren't respectful enough to even communicate a break-up; as in, they disappear, ignore their [former] partner, or offer lame communication to the point where you get fed up and leave them to stew in their stupidity; they just need to be dipped in tar, feathered, and blessed by a higher deity...or poked and prodded by the lowest evil.

I know breaking-up is an Art and many lack talent, but can we at least exhibit some decency and tact? I know your mother taught you better than that. If you're bold enough to become romantically and/or intimately involved (yes, I did the and/or because you know some of you will admit to one and not the other {eye roll}) with someone, you should have the balls (or boobs) to sit down (face-to-face) with them and explain/discuss the break-up; at the very least inform them that the relationship is thereby dissolved.

A true and admirable break-up should be executed respectfully; with grace and tact. You need to convince your former Love to let you walk out the door on your own two feet, instead of stabbing you and having the authorities remove your remains in a body bag. I'm just saying...you do them right and they'll do you right (or do you in, but that's a chance one takes). Aim for that friendship clause; where you agree to be "friends" both knowing you truly never want to see, hear from, or think about the other again.

Just remember these two things:

1. Karma is the Queen B!#$h!
2. This only applies to civilized unions; if you have one of those violent, abusive, crazy, Ike and Tina Turner type relationships...do what you have to do and get the hell up out of there.
   

The Weight of 'Just': When Minimalization Maximizes Impact

I've done it. You've done it. We're all guilty of doing it; Operation Virginity Loss...complete. We have all tossed (no, not a 'salad.' Don't even go there; it's not that kind of post); we have all tossed out "just" like it's yesterday's dish water as a way of illustrating our point of something being a matter of simplicity or meaningless to us. We often toss it out paired with words it should rarely be paired with; words where the minimization maximizes the impact by overlooking a key component or taking others into consideration.

*"'Just sex?' That's the convention, isn't it, these days? Sex has become one of those words you can put just in front of. Anything else you'd like to minimize at this time, Sarah? Just unfaithfulness? Just betrayal? Just breaking my fucking heart?"

These days we seek to minimize the impact, consequences, and seriousness of our actions by adding "just" into our justifications. Actions like sex used to matter, carry weight, and was taken seriously. As time continues to pass and we as a people become more involved in our own selfish actions and consumption and let technology and convenience dictate our lives, our moves, and heavily influence our interests and common sense, we lose focus on matters and values we once held dear. We're becoming a nonchalant society. We're becoming lazy. We're almost delusionally selfish (I think I just made that up, but go with me).

It's just sex.
It's just infidelity.
It's just betrayal.
It's just that I'm in love with someone else.
It was just a blow job.

Ummm....No! It was not 'just' anything, it was A LOT more than you're making it out to be; you know this, I know this, hell...everyone knows this. "Just" is a confirmation and modifier of guilt. Don't be a fool; be considerate.

You "just" need to:

• Wake up
• Get a clue
• Accept responsibility for your actions
• Bare the consequences
• Get your life
  

#ImJustSayin'.




*Selection from Little Bee by Chris Cleave (p. 167, [copyright 2008]).