This Time Around?

I know many have said it before. Hell, I've said it myself a few times: I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday; no, I wouldn't change anything I've done in my life because it wouldn't be me. I get this. I, also, get that some people say it just to speak...they have no idea what they are saying but figure they sound 'deep'. (eye roll) {whatever} Now, what if you were given the opportunity to do something over, again; you know, a second time around. And not because of something you did wrong, but because someone else goofed-up and acted a fool. This is another opportunity for them. An opportunity to either do right by you or to screw you over, again. Would you do it?

A lot of people fail to get and understand this, but I'm one of those people that if you piss me off, I'll willingly, gladly, and before you can even think of it...burn the bridge and blow away the ashes. My philosophy is: if you can strike a match, be able to handle the fire.

So, you know good and well I was beyond surprised when a former co-star reached out to reconnect and came with an admission that they weren't very nice to me. After I moved away from the "floored" look, I was stuck contemplating how to pose the question: are you dumb or just really stupid?

And of course, since music is my life, Janet Jackson's "You Want This" enters my mind: "you want this, but do you really think that you could get this? At first you dissed this now you want to kiss this?" I know you're like me, ready to shake your hip, to the booty slap, and yell "too late...you missed this."

Once that door is opened...all the questions come flying in: what do you want? Why are you here? Why now? If you didn't want me then, what makes you think I want you now? Can I trust you? Can we get along without retaliation? Start over, again?

I'm always growing, improving, and evolving; in constant change (for the better); if it wasn't right then, how is it supposed to be right now? You either have an agenda or you're on a mission; and don't even think I'm about to be your distraction. Homey doesn't play that...AT ALL (unless you have a profitable agenda of your own).

I don’t do any day, any time, or any place. Get it right the first time and quit wasting time. I'm more of a one-time only; come right or stay home kind of guy.

I'll think about it this time around; but, maybe next time.

The Weight of 'Just': When Minimalization Maximizes Impact

I've done it. You've done it. We're all guilty of doing it; Operation Virginity Loss...complete. We have all tossed (no, not a 'salad.' Don't even go there; it's not that kind of post); we have all tossed out "just" like it's yesterday's dish water as a way of illustrating our point of something being a matter of simplicity or meaningless to us. We often toss it out paired with words it should rarely be paired with; words where the minimization maximizes the impact by overlooking a key component or taking others into consideration.

*"'Just sex?' That's the convention, isn't it, these days? Sex has become one of those words you can put just in front of. Anything else you'd like to minimize at this time, Sarah? Just unfaithfulness? Just betrayal? Just breaking my fucking heart?"

These days we seek to minimize the impact, consequences, and seriousness of our actions by adding "just" into our justifications. Actions like sex used to matter, carry weight, and was taken seriously. As time continues to pass and we as a people become more involved in our own selfish actions and consumption and let technology and convenience dictate our lives, our moves, and heavily influence our interests and common sense, we lose focus on matters and values we once held dear. We're becoming a nonchalant society. We're becoming lazy. We're almost delusionally selfish (I think I just made that up, but go with me).

It's just sex.
It's just infidelity.
It's just betrayal.
It's just that I'm in love with someone else.
It was just a blow job.

Ummm....No! It was not 'just' anything, it was A LOT more than you're making it out to be; you know this, I know this, hell...everyone knows this. "Just" is a confirmation and modifier of guilt. Don't be a fool; be considerate.

You "just" need to:

• Wake up
• Get a clue
• Accept responsibility for your actions
• Bare the consequences
• Get your life
  

#ImJustSayin'.




*Selection from Little Bee by Chris Cleave (p. 167, [copyright 2008]).