Is A Man's Heart In His Pants?

"Topics from Social Media"' day continues...

I've long heard the old saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach; but, does that journey start in the stomach, above the stomach, or below the stomach? Then, in which direction do you work? Which bring me to today and my homegirl ... I happen to love her so much ... Jada Pinkett-Smith (yes, we are bffs...in some way and form...in my mind). I straighten my bangs to her -- she truly continues to amaze me with the questions she poses publicly and the issues she fights for and support. I just love how she pretty much just says her business is her business, her life is her life; get yours, behave within your realms, and be who you are.

Anyway, back to today... Ms. Jada posed two really good questions; initially, pretty much asking 'is a man's heart in his Oscar-Meyer-Schlong-Dong' and then followed it up with this:

""Is great sex the only need, or primary need, for a man to have a good relationship with his partner?"

I love that she used "partner," because it adds another layer of potential discussion if you consider a relationship between two men .... and if both of their hearts are in the same location or different. 

As she noted in her Facebook post, it's a debate among she and her girlfriends and she's asking people to simply comment "YES" or "NO." That's nice and all, but I want to know your REAL thoughts; I mean, start out with the 'yes' or 'no,' but then give me the real juice...tell me why. GIVE IT ME! Drag your friends into the conversation (share buttons below), too, let's all talk. Bring men! I have an idea of what women will say, but I want to hear what the gentlemen have to say, as well.

Jada used with her post, as well. I have a feeling it's how many view the placement of the (romantic) hearts in women and men. Ooooh...that just made me think of a similar question about gay relationships. Hmmmm....!

Flirting While In A Relationship. Cheating?

Today is a "topics from social media" day; there are a few interesting questions surrounding dating and relationships that are floating around the networks and they offer some great discussion opportunities.

One was a tweet by Juan San Roman:

If you're in a relationship, flirting is cheating.
— Juan San Roman (@_JuanSanRoman) June 7, 2013

Some think cheating is only when visible activity (you know...sex) is involved; some way it's emotional. What is your take on this: within the boundaries of a relationship, is flirting innocent and allowable or is it cheating?

Comment below on how you feel and share this post with your friends to get their take.

Also, about to share with you a question from Jada Pinkett-Smith involving a man, his penis, and a relationship. Be sure to check it out...it's a good one.

Prerequisite for a Second Date

A good vibe? Sparks? A full set of [uncapped] teeth? Making it through dinner without describing their Top 10 Allergy triggers or crying three times over their former significant other? Sexual tension that makes you want to burst...or slap somebody? Securing the practically unattainable and rare second date; nice work if you can get it...and if you got it; dish the dirt! What did you do (or didn't do) to get it?

According to recent conversations and discussions I've had regarding the dating game, it seems as if spreading your legs, touching your toes, and the ability to have an orgasm without becoming entangled in a sticky situation are prerequisites and required qualifications for a second date. Or, as I like to call it "another chance to shag you before I ignore your calls, block your texts, and pretend like I've never seen you before in my life."

Whatever happened to the good old days of sex before marriage but after the fourth date; knowing someone's name before knowing their underwear cut and color? Where are they hiding and how did we lose them?

Again, I blame technology for the lack of grace and decline in people's social skills; especially when it comes to dating and human interaction. Brain cells are deteriorating and people are losing their damn minds and ability for intelligent interaction and conversation, by hiding behind computers and other electronic devices. Online dating and electronic devices are great distractions and adult babysitters, but they are also hazardous to your social, mental, and emotional health. (I may have just made up social health, but go with me.) They seem to increase the fear of rejection and commitment to astronomical levels; up the ladder and through the roof.

Long gone are the days of pleasant and fun conversation, laughing at jokes, discovering mutual interests outside of leather, S&M, and water sports (and I absolutely DO NOT mean jet skiing or snorkeling). Looking into someone's eyes and longing to do it again, enjoying the scent of someone so much it etches a thought of them into your brain, and wanting to truly get to know someone for whom they are and what they represent are now ancient and no longer second date determiners. Kissing [French; as in, with tongue] is required; 'dropping it like it hot' and 'putting your back into it' are not frowned upon and often, over zealously, encouraged.

While the second date is practically impossible to get; unless you give a little to get a little....I won't even mention the third date. If you can get that far (even with sex), I would expect a ring to be presented before dessert.

As always, while they may have their prerequisites; you have and keep your standards -- held high. If their prerequisites are lame; they don't deserve you. Keep it wrapped. Keep it fresh. Keep it moving!

The Weight of 'Just': When Minimalization Maximizes Impact

I've done it. You've done it. We're all guilty of doing it; Operation Virginity Loss...complete. We have all tossed (no, not a 'salad.' Don't even go there; it's not that kind of post); we have all tossed out "just" like it's yesterday's dish water as a way of illustrating our point of something being a matter of simplicity or meaningless to us. We often toss it out paired with words it should rarely be paired with; words where the minimization maximizes the impact by overlooking a key component or taking others into consideration.

*"'Just sex?' That's the convention, isn't it, these days? Sex has become one of those words you can put just in front of. Anything else you'd like to minimize at this time, Sarah? Just unfaithfulness? Just betrayal? Just breaking my fucking heart?"

These days we seek to minimize the impact, consequences, and seriousness of our actions by adding "just" into our justifications. Actions like sex used to matter, carry weight, and was taken seriously. As time continues to pass and we as a people become more involved in our own selfish actions and consumption and let technology and convenience dictate our lives, our moves, and heavily influence our interests and common sense, we lose focus on matters and values we once held dear. We're becoming a nonchalant society. We're becoming lazy. We're almost delusionally selfish (I think I just made that up, but go with me).

It's just sex.
It's just infidelity.
It's just betrayal.
It's just that I'm in love with someone else.
It was just a blow job.

Ummm....No! It was not 'just' anything, it was A LOT more than you're making it out to be; you know this, I know this, hell...everyone knows this. "Just" is a confirmation and modifier of guilt. Don't be a fool; be considerate.

You "just" need to:

• Wake up
• Get a clue
• Accept responsibility for your actions
• Bare the consequences
• Get your life
  

#ImJustSayin'.




*Selection from Little Bee by Chris Cleave (p. 167, [copyright 2008]).