Valentine's Day: Love The One You Are

February 14th.

Yep. "That" day of the year.

Some love it. Some dread it.

Don't get wrapped up in it --- the commercialism of Valentine's Day; it's not the sole day of the year where your significant other should express their love for you and vice versa --- that should be shown and expressed daily...and not strictly in forms of gifts. Love transcends many forms and ranges, yet is all-encompassing. You know, "actions speak louder than words," but together...it's a powerful message with a clear and precise meaning: Love is!

If you don't have a significant other, Valentine's Day is, also, not the day to mope around, complain, and feel depressed about not being romantically connected with someone. In both instances, Valentine's Day IS another day to acknowledge and celebrate the love you have for yourself.  It should be the first love, the most fulfilling love, the foundation for love. It is the greatest love. Before you love the one you're with (or want to be with), love the one you are.

Loving yourself leads to higher self-esteem, self-worth, self-appreciation, a better understanding of self, and the knowledge of knowing what to expect in terms of love from others.

If you love who you are, others will love you for who you are. You're loving you, they're loving you...that's a lot of love. Good love.

Be you.
Embrace you.
Hug you.
LOVE YOU.

Giving Up, Turning Loose

Giving up and turning loose is not the same as quitting. Well, it can be...but, don't let it be. The trick is to reevaluate, re-envision, and refocus; direct your energy and efforts in a new direction...the right direction. The direction where you and your best interests are the focus and your happiness is the end goal and destination.

Before you can redirect, you have to know how the current situation makes you feel and affects you within. This is, also, the time to acknowledge that the situation isn't right for you and why it isn't right. It may sound difficult, but easier to do than you think. Be objective about the situation --- take it all in and extract the learning experiences and opportunities --- be present, embrace yourself, affirm what you're getting from the moment, and claim what you want and intend to get.

A few "complete the sentences" to help get you there:

• This isn't working for me, because...
• I want...
• To get it, I will...
• My goal is...
• This entire situation has taught me...

Knowing when to let go is one of the most powerful moments one can experience; it's at this time when you know you've given something your all and have realized that it's not the best for you. This is the moment where you set yourself free; releasing YOU from restraints. Let it go and prepare yourself for what's right for you...rather it be something or someone. Understand and become familiar with what doesn't work for you; that way, you're familiar with them and if you should ever encounter them, again, in your life you'll know to avoid those things (elements, factors, people, etc) and not to waste valuable time dealing with them unnecessarily.

Give it up.
Turn it loose.

Spread your wings.
SOAR.
Get to where you want to be.

New Year. New You?

2013 is well underway. How's it working out for you thus far? How are you different this year than you were last year? Where do you want this year to take you and what do you hope to achieve?

Resolutions. Did you make any? What are they? Are you still on track to satisfy them?

Yes, I know, a lot of questions. I'm asking because this is all about YOU. I want you to look at and within yourself; know who you are...accept who you are...love who you are...and be happy. Get to happy if you're not there. Define what happy is to you and claim it, grab it, embrace the hell out of it!

The new you doesn't have to be brought on by a drastic or life changing measure; it can be small. My challenge for you is to do something to make a positive change in your life that gets you closer to happy or allows you to experience a deeper, greater, and more fulfilling happy.

Grow, develop, expand your horizons! Make the you of tomorrow different from the you of today. Do something you've always wanted to do, something someone said you could never do, something you've never thought of doing, or put on your grown-folk drawers and do something you are afraid to do. Don't make me double-dare you! 

I'm waiting to meet the new and happier you.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...

2013 is on you.  Make it count!

**champagne wishes**

MY LIFE IN MUSIC: Soundtrack to Me 2011

Nope, I'm still not singing, but I am grooving, relating, living my life, and loving music as much as ever. Another year behind me, more experiences under my belt, and another edition of My Life in Music --the soundtrack to my life over the past year. Songs that shook my world, played with my emotions, reflected aspects of my personality, contain lyrics that touched my soul, or just made me shout "That is my song!" (over and over, again).

As I always say, to me music is a therapy: it relaxes me, it inspires me, it becomes my voice to express myself when I cannot find the words.

I present to you ....

MY LIFE IN MUSIC: Soundtrack to Me 2011

• Toni Braxton - Why Won't You Love Me
• Fantasia - I'm Doin' Me
• Patti LaBelle - I Can't Make You Love Me
• Toni Braxton - Hands Tied
• Jennifer Hudson - All Dressed in Love
• Adele - Rolling in the Deep
• Usher - Making Love (Into the Night)
• Usher - Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home)
• Michael Jackson - Behind The Mask
• Kem - Why Would You Stay
• Cee Lo Green - Forget You
• Leona Lewis - I Know Who I Am
• Adele - He Won't Go
• Quiana Parler - Save Your Love For Me
• Terisa Griffin - Wonderful

Put your life to music. What are your tunes?

Summer of Him

The Summer is winding down; and it has been a scorcher. I hope the heat heat didn't get you caught up in the Summer of Him, as the heat can have its effects. For all of those for whom it applies (ladies and fellas), when I say 'caught up,' I mean at this point you need NOT have become a himaholic (when you are all wrapped up in a guy and your world revolves around him...breakfast, lunch, dinner, social activities, and your weekend getaway) or have become dickmatized. Yes, I said it...and you know what it means. It's when you crave it, always want it, gotta have it, can't get enough of it, and down on your knees begging for it. Extreme! Do I even need to say "that ain' cute"? I hope not, as there is no man and no game...that good.

Don't get it twisted and jumbled, these two words can apply to everyday "relationships," as well; it's not just about the summertime heat and shenanigans. Himaholic and dickmatized go great together; don't you just love it? Breaking it down...it's when you're all caught up on him and you're only getting the goods....and nothing else. No love...no affection...zero compassion; just unearthly, mind-blowing sexual satisfaction. While it's fun and unbelievably enjoyable; it's a major waste of time. Even 'friends with benefits' want more than they realize. Recognize what you're worth and what you have to offer. Get yours and take it to the next level; be all that you can be. #KnowYourWorth Yes, I hash-tagged it...hate on me, now. :-p

Special thanks and shout-outs to song-sirens Kelly Price and Jill Scott for edumacating us on himaholics and dickmatized; respectively.

Cover

WAKE UP! It's time to throw back the covers, plant your feet on the floor, stand up, and look around. Sleeping too long can cause you to rush out of bed and overlook important signs. Are you the only one sleeping with your man? It may be time to blow the cover and see the situation in its bare nakedness; and either check your man or milk it for what it's worth.

While the interest in relationships seems to have disintegrated to hell, the belief and act of committed relationships and the adherence to marriage vows seem to disappearing along with it. It's 2011; technology is progressing, but people aren't socially or emotionally. People are still afraid to show, express, and stand up for who they really are. The DL (Down-Low) life is so old and stale, I just knew it wasn't relevant; but, it somehow morphed into a 'politically-correct-homosexual-all-encompassing' "men who sleep with men." Now, it seems to me, a majority of the men (and other men like them) who were sheepishly using that description are now describing themselves as "straight," but still engaging in not-even-close-to-straight (sexual) behavior and activities.

Ladies, I'm going to help you out...these are your boyfriends and your husbands; many of whom, I'm sure, if you're paying attention to them have some (remote) idea or inclination as a lot of these men aren't as concealed as they believe themselves to be. Ideas to ponder and look for: Is he hard to reach when you're out of town, randomly going places with "one of the boys" at odd times, have a new best male friend appear out of nowhere, or have a close male friend who's wife/girlfriend you've never met (or who's wife/girlfriend you end up spending more time with than you want because the men are always putting the two of you together)? It may be time to get rid of the cover. I see and hear about this stuff far too often; it's sickening and maddening. Many of these men are smart with their slickness but aren't smart enough to know the difference between "discreet" and "discrete." Discreet is now synonymous with deceit, dishonesty, and drama. Neither of which I do or tolerate.

So...COVER, or better yet: what's going on underneath [no punctuation mark]; I'm leaving it open so you can decide for yourself: 1) Is there something going on underneath? 2) Something is going on underneath. Which ever you decide, the "cover" has been on too long and the time has come to blow the top and see the situation in its bare nakedness; act now...before something hits home. It may not be your man keeping you warm at night; but, instead, something from your man..

Ladies, get your girls together; it's time for a movie night! Pop some corn and gather around the couch with a few bottles of wine. The movie to see if Bill Duke's "Cover." Marriage. Betrayal. Secrets...and Lies.



To those men who are hating on me and disliking what I've written about this craziness, I say screw you. If you're man enough to like dick, you should be man enough to live up to it and come out of the closet. No one's holding you back but yourself.

Cherish

Life is precious. Life is valuable. Life is not always kind, but Life is what we make of it.

Why is it that we as a people in today's world get lost in the hustle and bustle of daily nonsense, technology advancement, and career and social over- drive/kill; yet we never take time to indulge in and enjoy the priceless presents we are blessed to receive during our lifetime? Family, friends, lovers, sensational coworkers, love (in general and romantic terms), priceless moments, and random acts of kindness ... all precious gifts in life, yet we never seize the opportunity to enjoy the present (as in present time). As the saying goes, "Life is a gift; enjoy the present."

Given today's society where things (fatal things; life-changing things) can happen in an unexpected and unplanned instance, I'm amiably trying to encourage folks to take time to enjoy and appreciate the gifts of life and to cherish those moments and times where we're happy and filled with bliss. Yes, those vary moments we often overlook and regret once all opportunities are forever taken away from us. Cherish and enjoy each second to the maximum capacity; as that could be the last second you ever get to experience that happy moment.

Stop procrastinating! No putting off for tomorrow what can be done today (tomorrow may never make it to today). No more putting trivial and professional before personal and pleasurable. No more "oh, I'll do it next time." Next Time may never arrive.

Seize the day!
Live in the moment!
Embrace right now!
Be present in the present!
Cherish forever and always!!!

Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable

Four years later and Beyonce still has people singing "to the left, to the left" and thinking they are 'irreplaceable.' They really just don't know. Not only are they NOT irreplaceable, they may be down-right interchangeable.

Do you know the difference between the two: Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable?

While irreplaceable means not having a substitute or similar/identical alternative; interchangeable means the ability to replace or exchange places. In short, interchangeable means you need to get your act together and get your business in order because things aren't right and your foundation is vulnerable. Your house can come down at any moment! Yes, I am saying it: someone else can be you and do what you're doing; either as good or better. Now, what are you going to do about that?

Time to pick it up and get to irreplaceable! Be valuable...be worth something...and know it. Rock what you do in a style and manner that no one else could ever do; drive them to imitate, but never allow them to replicate.

Irreplaceable is the goal and replaceable is not an option. Vow to never be replaced. NO ONE should EVER be able to be you or fill your shoes. The gauges of your life should be unparalleled, highly-distinguished precedence, to inspire and lead by example (inspire others to aspire to do better), and to establish and maintain high standards (quality over quantity). A truth to being irreplaceable is to always be aware of your Replaceability Factor and to know your value and worth (your self-worth must always be higher than your worth to someone else).

While many of my topics apply and are related to aspects of the intimate relationship, the battle of Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable has no boundaries and transcends borders. Meaning, it can be applied in other realms; such as the workplace, platonic friendships, and any other situation in which you are a functioning element. Always strive to do your best, to be your best, and to be the best. Variation from the rest is what distinguishes you; so, stand tall, do proud, and shine on! Besides, what could possibly be better than You? Except for, maybe....Me.

Whom Not to Forget on Valentine's Day

Flowers ordered. Candy purchased. Card selected and signed. Private jet secured. Dinner reservation booked (with a note specifying exact table). Paris hotel booked (presidential suite, of course).

Now...relax, relate, and release; BREATHE! You're done with, either: making sure everything is perfect for your Boo (or in some cases, your Boo-Squared), stalking someone because they know they should be your Boo (but just haven't figured it out, yet), or trying to make sure the one you've been spending a lot of time with doesn't forget about you on 2/14. Anyway, your nerves are probably shot to pieces and you're exhausted as all hell...and still managed to overlook the one (VIP) you should remember on VDay; me! Not me, as in ME (well, it's very kind and thoughtful if you do think of me send me something...no flowers, please; but I do accept orchids (all colors)), but 'me' as in You; yourself.

Boo'd-up or not, Valentine's Day is definitely a day for self-love (I don't mean in that way, but if it works; hey...do you!). Many go out of their way to make sure the day is perfect for their Valentine, but forget about themselves in the process. It's a day to appreciate yourself, as well. Take some time do something nice for yourself: mani/pedi, facial, massage, purchase something you've been wanting to to get, read to a group of children, volunteer, do a staycation or one-day getaway, partake in something you've been longing to experience; do what you enjoy to do...something you will look back on and it will make you smile (inside and out) and feel good all over.

Thinking about your lover on Valentine' Day, their happiness, and the love (or that love-like thing) the two of you share is wonderful, but we know whose happiness and satisfaction really matters, right?

If you're single; hell, live it up! Don't let it hold you down. Embrace it, claim it, rock with it. Have a Me Day!

All of you: Value yourself. Treasure yourself. LOVE YOURSELF!