The Big Picture: See More Than What You Expect

Don't become too focused on searching for one, particular thing; you could be overlooking something of greater substance, value, and joy.  The little, unexpected surprises can be life changing and of monumental fulfillment.

It's amazing what we don't see because we're too busy looking for something specific. Joy, happiness, and beauty come in more forms than what's envisioned.

Be alert.

Pay attention.

See the ENTIRE picture.

This applies to those "searching for someone" situations, as well.

Overlooked and Understated: What's Not Being Talked About Regarding the Loss of Whitney Houston

It's almost been a year since the day my world stopped; the day we lost a national treasure...a legend...an icon. February 11, 2012. The day Whitney Houston died.

That day, Whitney spread her wings and transcended to be with 'somebody bigger than you and I.' That day, we believe she found the peace, tranquility, and wholesome, unconditional love we hope our loved ones obtain when we lose them. That day marked the beginning of our remembrance of her and her legacy --- her family, friends, and fans mourn...and continue to do so a year later.

That day fed and released the vultures and critics; those who fail (or are too ignorant) to see her for the wonderful person and extraordinary talent she was -- her level of accomplishment and success, her historical achievements, and the millions of lives she's touched around the globe.

In my opinion, coverage and articles about her death have focused more on her personal life and struggles -- as they did through most of her career -- instead of her incomparable and illustrious career. One fan tweeted:

Whitney Houston's story isn't in the drugs her story is in the impact she made on this world even through the worldly devils.
— Troy Story (@mrLdavis) January 29, 2013

I agree. Whitney Houston impacted the world and the lives of millions of people; not to mention the precedence and standard she set for future artists and vocalists. Most of this was accomplished with her voice...and the skill, talent, and know-how to use her instrument.

There are a few things that really upset me and work my nerves related to the coverage and continued coverage of her death; to me, most of these pieces have an unvoiced undertone and feel that would be present if they were covering the life and career of someone whose passing was the result of an overdose. Again, I believe this is a result from the unwavering focus on her issues with drugs. Which brings me to my other matter of contention...

The opportunities for public awareness and education that can grow from elements surrounding Whitney's life and sudden passing.  Whitney's death was ruled to be a result of an accidental drowning. While reports have noted that her toxicology report returned the presence of barbiturates in her system at the time of her death, it was also noted that Whitney had heart disease. You hear about the drugs in the coverage, but how often have you heard about the heart disease?

On the January 28, 2013, episode of Next Chapter, Whitney's mother, Grammy winning Gospel recording artist Cissy Houston, revealed to Oprah Winfrey that Whitney suffered a heart attack, which leads one to assume that resulted in her falling face-first into the bathtub of water. [promo video for the interview below]

Now, I'm not saying that the public awareness and education opportunities I speak of need to be directly tied to Whitney's story, but this is a valid time to educate society and promote healthy lifestyles, healthy living, heart health, and the dangers involved in using drugs.

• Partake in a healthy food diet
• Exercise, have a communicative and healthy relationship with your doctor, and have checkups and visits regularly
• Don't participate in self-destructive behavior and activities; they could have damaging effects one may not realize. Did you know cocaine usage could lead to heart disease? I didn't either...and never would have thought it. The things we learn!
• As the saying goes "Say 'NO' to Drugs"!
• Don't combine drugs (prescription, controlled, over-the-counter, or a combination of the sort) ... unless advised and/or approved by your doctor. When I say "controlled," I mean "illegal."
• Don't mix alcohol and medication [there's a reason those labels are on the bottles], but it's a common practice...far too many people do it.

Don't get it twisted...the points above are my opinions/tips/thoughts on a few things that I think could lead to a healthier lifestyle and a overall better life. I am not a physician and I am not saying these are relevant to or a part of Whitney's story, but I am saying that I think these are things that could be of use and interest to the general public, instead of always being overlooked, understated, or intentionally ignored.

Public education does not always have to be courtesy of a PSA (Public Service Announcement).





Bonus: Be sure to click the "Next Chapter" link in the post; you'll be able to discover what nickname Whitney Houston gave her mother, Cissy Houston.  :-)

Friend(s) vs Friend(ly)

Yes, there's a difference. Do you know it?

As defined by Dictionary.com:

• Friend: [noun] a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
• Friendly: [adjective] characteristic of or befitting a friend; showing friendship

Many people either don't know, fail to realize, or are incapable of exhibiting a solid demonstration of what it takes and means to be a friend; a real friend. Friendships require cultivation, an investment of energy and intimacy (self and trust), and time to grow and blossom. Maintenance is then necessary for it to be sustained. Neither a fort nor a foundation are built overnight; likewise, affection and personal regard for another takes times to build and solidify.

As for being "friendly," most execute these characteristics effortlessly; and don't get me started on those other categories (i.e., acquaintance, associate, that's just someone who...) as those affiliations are accomplished with such precision they are impeccably flawless. To be friendly, all it really takes is a smile, a wave, and possibly the occasional "hello."

Know what you want.
Know what you can give. 
Know what you deserve. 
Know how someone best fits into your life...if at all.

PSA: Friendly vs Friends

Remember in Boomerang where Halle Berry's character said she was tired of men treating "love" like it was disease? I feel her on that and also how they treat the word "friends" when they should be using the word "friendly." They must think being "friends" picking up a ball and tossing it somewhere. "Love" and "friends" are words of weight; not to be thrown around loosely, lightly, or recklessly...especially 'true' love and friendship.

So, for those confused souls who don't know the difference between being 'friends' and being 'friendly' and definitely for those who try to use 'friends' as a part of their game and still don't know the difference. Allow me to focus the spotlight...

Being FRIENDLY is when I act like I love you and don't want to [insert verb here] you.

Being FRIENDS is when I do love you and won't let anyone else [insert verb from above here] you.

Get it right, not twisted. We don't have to be friends...and I don't have to be friendly to you, either.

{side-eyed stair}

PSA: Reality Check

This came across my Twitter time line...read it, remember it, take a note, share it, and never forget it.

Brace yourself...

"Reality checks never bounce."

And the payout may come with interest. As I always say: keep it real, keep it honest, and keep it moving. Whatever situation you are in, make sure you see and are aware of the actual picture; the entire picture. Know the story! Be in the present!

Be real and you'll always be on point.

PSA: Brand New

Don't try to act "brand new" when you're tired, worn, and raggedy as hell; train wrecks are not cute. #BehaveAppropriately

Cherish

Life is precious. Life is valuable. Life is not always kind, but Life is what we make of it.

Why is it that we as a people in today's world get lost in the hustle and bustle of daily nonsense, technology advancement, and career and social over- drive/kill; yet we never take time to indulge in and enjoy the priceless presents we are blessed to receive during our lifetime? Family, friends, lovers, sensational coworkers, love (in general and romantic terms), priceless moments, and random acts of kindness ... all precious gifts in life, yet we never seize the opportunity to enjoy the present (as in present time). As the saying goes, "Life is a gift; enjoy the present."

Given today's society where things (fatal things; life-changing things) can happen in an unexpected and unplanned instance, I'm amiably trying to encourage folks to take time to enjoy and appreciate the gifts of life and to cherish those moments and times where we're happy and filled with bliss. Yes, those vary moments we often overlook and regret once all opportunities are forever taken away from us. Cherish and enjoy each second to the maximum capacity; as that could be the last second you ever get to experience that happy moment.

Stop procrastinating! No putting off for tomorrow what can be done today (tomorrow may never make it to today). No more putting trivial and professional before personal and pleasurable. No more "oh, I'll do it next time." Next Time may never arrive.

Seize the day!
Live in the moment!
Embrace right now!
Be present in the present!
Cherish forever and always!!!

Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable

Four years later and Beyonce still has people singing "to the left, to the left" and thinking they are 'irreplaceable.' They really just don't know. Not only are they NOT irreplaceable, they may be down-right interchangeable.

Do you know the difference between the two: Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable?

While irreplaceable means not having a substitute or similar/identical alternative; interchangeable means the ability to replace or exchange places. In short, interchangeable means you need to get your act together and get your business in order because things aren't right and your foundation is vulnerable. Your house can come down at any moment! Yes, I am saying it: someone else can be you and do what you're doing; either as good or better. Now, what are you going to do about that?

Time to pick it up and get to irreplaceable! Be valuable...be worth something...and know it. Rock what you do in a style and manner that no one else could ever do; drive them to imitate, but never allow them to replicate.

Irreplaceable is the goal and replaceable is not an option. Vow to never be replaced. NO ONE should EVER be able to be you or fill your shoes. The gauges of your life should be unparalleled, highly-distinguished precedence, to inspire and lead by example (inspire others to aspire to do better), and to establish and maintain high standards (quality over quantity). A truth to being irreplaceable is to always be aware of your Replaceability Factor and to know your value and worth (your self-worth must always be higher than your worth to someone else).

While many of my topics apply and are related to aspects of the intimate relationship, the battle of Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable has no boundaries and transcends borders. Meaning, it can be applied in other realms; such as the workplace, platonic friendships, and any other situation in which you are a functioning element. Always strive to do your best, to be your best, and to be the best. Variation from the rest is what distinguishes you; so, stand tall, do proud, and shine on! Besides, what could possibly be better than You? Except for, maybe....Me.

Facebook: From Social Network to Social Activist?

Facebook never ceases to amaze; from social network to advertising platform to celebrity fan club to....social activism? When minor things (even simple developments and improvements) make me smile; you know something is up or I've twisted something in some sick way. But, Honey-Chile, a few days ago...Monsieur Facebook touched my spirit and warmed my soul.

Now, thanks to Facebook's new relationship status options (which according to USA Today, gay users give tremendous applause -- I guess you have to be in that particular subset. I'm in a subset of my own celebrating for another reason.); not only do we get to see when people are dumped publicly (as we discussed in "Break-Ups"), but we also get to see how people reclassify their personal situations when selecting a new relationship status: "in a domestic partnership," "in a civil union," and so on. But, you know me, I can't wait to see who goes from being involved in something to being "single" and who moves from being in something to "it's complicated" -- a personal favorite. Perhaps I should go from "single" to "it's complicated"? Cause, as most of us single-folk know...at times, it can be all-out rough and unattractive.

On a deeper note, I sincerely hope this latest move/improvement by Facebook encourages folks to take an honest look at their lives and their 'relationships,' to see (and define) what they really have in their possession. Evaluate! I know of many who are involved in situations they should not be; those who are settling for something far lesser than what they want and deserve; and those who are holding on to something that truly amounts to absolutely nothing. Stop wasting your time, stop wasting your energy; stop wasting your life.

This is especially dedicated to all of my lovelies who are caught-up in some scenario that has influenced them to have their relationship status as "it's complicated." I ask you two things:

1. Why is it complicated?
2. Why in 2011 on this green Earth are you still in that complicated situation?

If it's complicated; get the hell out. Do better! Do you! As for those in the "open relationships"...please enlighten me. I must be miss something, because I don't see the point...but we'll visit O-R's later.

For all the haters; yes, I know...I am single. Partly because I refuse to settle and partly because I will not be in a complicated situation that holds no value and is complicated for no reason.

I know my own worth.

SERENITY NOW!

Grant me the serenity to accept those who are too clueless to realize they are crazy and irrelevant; courage and strength to deal with them on a daily basis...as they refuse to change and get away from me; and the continued wisdom to know that it's them and not me who needs HELP.

Yes, I was having one of those days and moments. Needed some motivation, encouragement, and break away from the Crazies. Pillar of strength.

Why You Wanna Get Funky On Me?

I am me.
I have always been me. I will always be me. Point blank, plain and simple, that's all there is to it.
There are some people who have at least one problem with me: they can't handle me, think I'm mean, think I hold people to impossible standards, or some other foolishness. I say....get over it, deal with it, or move the hell on. I don't expect much of people...just to be themselves, act accordingly, and to do what they say they are going to do. Do that and we'll get along wonderfully. However, with "just be yourself," comes the understanding and assumption that people bathe daily. It should be a personal ritual, people. If it's not...get on it and make it one. Your body should be thoroughly cleansed, at least once a day. Twice daily doesn't hurt; and yes, there are times when three times a day are required.
Yesterday was a mid 70's day, temperature wise. Summer hasn't officially started yet, so it's going to get hotter. THEREFORE, there is NO need for people to be smelling already. I mean, this wasn't just a smell, it was a stinch. P-U. Ewwww.

General notes:

• If it's 8am in the morning (or some other time of the day) and you're on your way to work; you should not smell and you should not be dirty
• Apply an even coat of deordorant; if you don't use deordorant, DO NOT raise your arms in the presence of others
• Shower/bathe at least ONCE daily; more if needed
• You don't have to smell like roses or lavender, but natural musk isn't the way to go
• Like stupidity, stink ain't sexy

Yes, this is my public service announcement: STOP THE FUNK! Make the world a better smelling place.