Podcasting: Putting Myself On-Air

Yes, I am co-hosting a podcast called The THRST. For those unfamiliar, a podcast is essentially the modern-day equivalent of a radio show, except most aren't broadcasted live and are available for you to download and stream anytime and anywhere you get the chance to listen.

With the incomprehensible advances in technology, one can do pretty much anything they want to do -- at affordable prices while maintaining complete control. Want to produce a music CD? Not a problem. Want to shoot a (short) film? That can be done, as well. Is it possible to produce your own radio show? A piece of cake!

I never thought I would actually do a podcast or radio show. I've always wanted to host a television show, but never thought I actually had a chance, because -- you know -- I speak to quickly, I speak too softly, and my Southern accent has a tendency to make an appearance whenever it wishes. Those three things are definite NO's in the public speaking world. At least in the "old" days, but not today.

I am going to say the journey, officially, started with my interest in voice acting. A few years ago, I started attending a voiceover workshop where I learned skills for radio and television commercial voice acting and eventually acquired the equipment I needed to record and submit audition pieces. Then, one day, I was walking with one of my friends and we're having this ridiculously funny conversation and realized we should have our own reality show. That was a bit much, but I realized we could do a radio show (or a podcast) and I already had the equipment. We discussed it for a few weeks and then just did it. The THRST was born!

No sugar- or cream-added, enticingly evil, wickedly funny conversations between two friends on life, dating, pop culture, and every issue in between.  It's humor, attitude, shade, and opinionated-truth!

I'm extending a personal invitation for you to hang out with us: follow up on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and join the conversations. You can listen to us via the player below or subscribe and download us via iTunes and the other networks listed beneath the player.

FIND US HERE:

• iTunes
• Stitcher
• Spreaker
• Blubrry
• TuneIn
• Blackberry
• Microsoft (Windows Phone/Xbox/Zune) 

See, it's possible. No more waiting on others to grant you access or to tell you yes. What do you want to do? Go.Get.It.Done!

"Bring snacks, the tea is on us!" (click to tweet)

The Big Picture: See More Than What You Expect

Don't become too focused on searching for one, particular thing; you could be overlooking something of greater substance, value, and joy.  The little, unexpected surprises can be life changing and of monumental fulfillment.

It's amazing what we don't see because we're too busy looking for something specific. Joy, happiness, and beauty come in more forms than what's envisioned.

Be alert.

Pay attention.

See the ENTIRE picture.

This applies to those "searching for someone" situations, as well.

Valentine's Day: Love The One You Are

February 14th.

Yep. "That" day of the year.

Some love it. Some dread it.

Don't get wrapped up in it --- the commercialism of Valentine's Day; it's not the sole day of the year where your significant other should express their love for you and vice versa --- that should be shown and expressed daily...and not strictly in forms of gifts. Love transcends many forms and ranges, yet is all-encompassing. You know, "actions speak louder than words," but together...it's a powerful message with a clear and precise meaning: Love is!

If you don't have a significant other, Valentine's Day is, also, not the day to mope around, complain, and feel depressed about not being romantically connected with someone. In both instances, Valentine's Day IS another day to acknowledge and celebrate the love you have for yourself.  It should be the first love, the most fulfilling love, the foundation for love. It is the greatest love. Before you love the one you're with (or want to be with), love the one you are.

Loving yourself leads to higher self-esteem, self-worth, self-appreciation, a better understanding of self, and the knowledge of knowing what to expect in terms of love from others.

If you love who you are, others will love you for who you are. You're loving you, they're loving you...that's a lot of love. Good love.

Be you.
Embrace you.
Hug you.
LOVE YOU.

Friend(s) vs Friend(ly)

Yes, there's a difference. Do you know it?

As defined by Dictionary.com:

• Friend: [noun] a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
• Friendly: [adjective] characteristic of or befitting a friend; showing friendship

Many people either don't know, fail to realize, or are incapable of exhibiting a solid demonstration of what it takes and means to be a friend; a real friend. Friendships require cultivation, an investment of energy and intimacy (self and trust), and time to grow and blossom. Maintenance is then necessary for it to be sustained. Neither a fort nor a foundation are built overnight; likewise, affection and personal regard for another takes times to build and solidify.

As for being "friendly," most execute these characteristics effortlessly; and don't get me started on those other categories (i.e., acquaintance, associate, that's just someone who...) as those affiliations are accomplished with such precision they are impeccably flawless. To be friendly, all it really takes is a smile, a wave, and possibly the occasional "hello."

Know what you want.
Know what you can give. 
Know what you deserve. 
Know how someone best fits into your life...if at all.

The Christian Grey Effect

Fifty Shades of Grey is still the saucy water-cooler topic of the moment and it's still making people sweat from reading it and blush at the mention of it. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps it is because people assume what it's about before reading it or because people have been living sheltered lives and have been sexually restrained (no pun intended) or inexpressive for far too long. Either way, I pass no judgement. I'm reading the trilogy; or rather, I should say...I'm *still* reading the trilogy. It's a fight and struggle...one I'm desperately ready to overcome.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to see a "romance" novel that reads more like a traditional fiction novel, but I can only take so much boredom. And...hell-to-the-yes...Christian Grey is a dream; with his flaws and all! Yet, while he's making ladies (and some guy-loving men) flip their tops, he's highlighting the many shades of crazy in the men folk. In a way, it's a blessing in disguise as it makes one aware of the BS and nonsense when they see it and know when to walk away.

You know what I'm talking about. Those 'men' who want to call all of the shots, make all of the decisions, and have you do and act as he says in ways that please him.

• The man who wants to talk non-stop and expects you to listen without interrupting (most likely because he doesn't think you have an option of value); yet, he's not saying anything of substance...and likely just tooting his own horn and singing his own praises.
• The man who wants to dictate and determine whom you can have as friends. Opposite-sex friends are a definite NO; despite the fact they have been in your life prior to him and will likely continue to be in your life AFTER him.
• The man who expects you to be conservative in the streets and a freak between the sheets. Wait, isn't that every man?
• My personal favorite, the man who wants you to eat when he eats and what he says to eat. Better known as, the man who orders for you ,but doesn't know what you want. Yes, he's ordering what he wants you to eat. Which could be cool...under some circumstance...but is definitely not hot when he orders you a steak and you're a vegetarian.

Doesn't that sound like the delish and scrumptious Christian Grey, CEO? For the most part, it is. Now, imagine it's the guy sitting across from you. Is he Christian? If he's not, get up and walk away. Don't say anything; just get up...and go. Don't let anyone come into your life with Christian Grey tendencies without delivering the Christian Grey benefits:

• The American Express "Black" card
• Puts thousands of dollars in your account so you will have pocket change
• Turns you inside out, right-side up, and any which way but loose
• Provides a personal trainer and personal shopper for you
• Begs you to spend his money...and smiles when you do
• His eyes only see you

All of the others and their various shades of fxck'ry and fxckedupness...do yourself a favor and send them back to Harry Potter and Dr. Seuss.  

You can do bad all by yourself...and you don't need their craziness to boot.

"I'm Busy" is Illegal Tender

Maybe it's just another one of my "standards" (and you better have some) things, but I accept Visa, American Express (Black Card accepted with open arms), and on the rare occasion; Mastercard (with proper photo identification). So, tell me...why do people (especially those who try to get up all in my kitchen drooling to lick the batter from my bowl) look at me like I'm stuck-on-stupid when I tell them their "I'm busy" (or some other whack or weak variation of it) excuse is unacceptable?

Chile, bye! Get your life together...and do not come at me with foolishness!

You can only be too bus for so long; it's all about proper and effective time management. More than likely, it would only take a brief moment (you know...an instant) to do whatever you are dreading or to grow a set (as in "confidence") to say what you really should be saying.

No one is too busy to do something they want or need to do. Now, let that sit, marinate, and percolate.

Too busy? Dust yourself off, try again, and come correctly. I'm not having it; period, full stop.

*note: this applies for when "I'm busy" is used far too often and has gone beyond a reasonable length of time. Depending on the circumstances, anything over a week is beyond a reasonable duration of time...in my opinion.

If You Love Someone...Will You Always?

Maybe...just a little bit? Honestly, it's hard to say. I know being "in love" doesn't mean eternal longevity.

Thanks to Facebook (FB) and Whitney Houston, my life is a social-media love song; filled with melody, rhyme, reason, endless resources, and surprisingly useful information and trends. FB has taught me that sometimes you have to let people go (unfriend); and Whitney has taught me how to do it...especially for those personal friendships/relationships that involves more than just the click of your mouse or a tap of your fingertip.

As people, we grow...we evolve...we (ok, most of us) change (hopefully, for the better). With this, the dynamics in our friendships and relationships with our friends, our lovers, and for some the relationships with former "persons of interest." Assess. Evaluate. Remove those connections that have deteriorated beyond repair and no longer hold value for your life....dead-weight-be-gone!  This is why I always say know the difference between "friends" and "friendly." You DO NOT have to be friends with someone to be friendly and being friendly DOES NOT mean you are friends.

When the time comes (and it definitely should come) to end a friendship or a relationship; take the high road and be nice and mature about it; respectful. Don't take the passive, lame, ignorant approach of not returning phone calls, suddenly being too busy (see my rant on the "busy" excuse) for someone...communicate. Lay the cards out on the table; let them know you are ending the friendship and relationship. You can provide a reason as to why if you want or if they ask, but in the least, effectively communicate that the friendship/relationship is over/complete/done wish/null and void/dissolved. Closure is invaluable; and all parties will appreciate and respect it.

Trust me when I say "it feels good." To let someone know your song is over and there will be no more dancing....priceless.

Yes, I leave you with this to help you find your way home....

PSA: Friendly vs Friends

Remember in Boomerang where Halle Berry's character said she was tired of men treating "love" like it was disease? I feel her on that and also how they treat the word "friends" when they should be using the word "friendly." They must think being "friends" picking up a ball and tossing it somewhere. "Love" and "friends" are words of weight; not to be thrown around loosely, lightly, or recklessly...especially 'true' love and friendship.

So, for those confused souls who don't know the difference between being 'friends' and being 'friendly' and definitely for those who try to use 'friends' as a part of their game and still don't know the difference. Allow me to focus the spotlight...

Being FRIENDLY is when I act like I love you and don't want to [insert verb here] you.

Being FRIENDS is when I do love you and won't let anyone else [insert verb from above here] you.

Get it right, not twisted. We don't have to be friends...and I don't have to be friendly to you, either.

{side-eyed stair}

PSA: Reality Check

This came across my Twitter time line...read it, remember it, take a note, share it, and never forget it.

Brace yourself...

"Reality checks never bounce."

And the payout may come with interest. As I always say: keep it real, keep it honest, and keep it moving. Whatever situation you are in, make sure you see and are aware of the actual picture; the entire picture. Know the story! Be in the present!

Be real and you'll always be on point.

PSA: Brand New

Don't try to act "brand new" when you're tired, worn, and raggedy as hell; train wrecks are not cute. #BehaveAppropriately

Cherish

Life is precious. Life is valuable. Life is not always kind, but Life is what we make of it.

Why is it that we as a people in today's world get lost in the hustle and bustle of daily nonsense, technology advancement, and career and social over- drive/kill; yet we never take time to indulge in and enjoy the priceless presents we are blessed to receive during our lifetime? Family, friends, lovers, sensational coworkers, love (in general and romantic terms), priceless moments, and random acts of kindness ... all precious gifts in life, yet we never seize the opportunity to enjoy the present (as in present time). As the saying goes, "Life is a gift; enjoy the present."

Given today's society where things (fatal things; life-changing things) can happen in an unexpected and unplanned instance, I'm amiably trying to encourage folks to take time to enjoy and appreciate the gifts of life and to cherish those moments and times where we're happy and filled with bliss. Yes, those vary moments we often overlook and regret once all opportunities are forever taken away from us. Cherish and enjoy each second to the maximum capacity; as that could be the last second you ever get to experience that happy moment.

Stop procrastinating! No putting off for tomorrow what can be done today (tomorrow may never make it to today). No more putting trivial and professional before personal and pleasurable. No more "oh, I'll do it next time." Next Time may never arrive.

Seize the day!
Live in the moment!
Embrace right now!
Be present in the present!
Cherish forever and always!!!

Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable

Four years later and Beyonce still has people singing "to the left, to the left" and thinking they are 'irreplaceable.' They really just don't know. Not only are they NOT irreplaceable, they may be down-right interchangeable.

Do you know the difference between the two: Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable?

While irreplaceable means not having a substitute or similar/identical alternative; interchangeable means the ability to replace or exchange places. In short, interchangeable means you need to get your act together and get your business in order because things aren't right and your foundation is vulnerable. Your house can come down at any moment! Yes, I am saying it: someone else can be you and do what you're doing; either as good or better. Now, what are you going to do about that?

Time to pick it up and get to irreplaceable! Be valuable...be worth something...and know it. Rock what you do in a style and manner that no one else could ever do; drive them to imitate, but never allow them to replicate.

Irreplaceable is the goal and replaceable is not an option. Vow to never be replaced. NO ONE should EVER be able to be you or fill your shoes. The gauges of your life should be unparalleled, highly-distinguished precedence, to inspire and lead by example (inspire others to aspire to do better), and to establish and maintain high standards (quality over quantity). A truth to being irreplaceable is to always be aware of your Replaceability Factor and to know your value and worth (your self-worth must always be higher than your worth to someone else).

While many of my topics apply and are related to aspects of the intimate relationship, the battle of Irreplaceable vs Interchangeable has no boundaries and transcends borders. Meaning, it can be applied in other realms; such as the workplace, platonic friendships, and any other situation in which you are a functioning element. Always strive to do your best, to be your best, and to be the best. Variation from the rest is what distinguishes you; so, stand tall, do proud, and shine on! Besides, what could possibly be better than You? Except for, maybe....Me.

SERENITY NOW!

Grant me the serenity to accept those who are too clueless to realize they are crazy and irrelevant; courage and strength to deal with them on a daily basis...as they refuse to change and get away from me; and the continued wisdom to know that it's them and not me who needs HELP.

Yes, I was having one of those days and moments. Needed some motivation, encouragement, and break away from the Crazies. Pillar of strength.

Whom Not to Forget on Valentine's Day

Flowers ordered. Candy purchased. Card selected and signed. Private jet secured. Dinner reservation booked (with a note specifying exact table). Paris hotel booked (presidential suite, of course).

Now...relax, relate, and release; BREATHE! You're done with, either: making sure everything is perfect for your Boo (or in some cases, your Boo-Squared), stalking someone because they know they should be your Boo (but just haven't figured it out, yet), or trying to make sure the one you've been spending a lot of time with doesn't forget about you on 2/14. Anyway, your nerves are probably shot to pieces and you're exhausted as all hell...and still managed to overlook the one (VIP) you should remember on VDay; me! Not me, as in ME (well, it's very kind and thoughtful if you do think of me send me something...no flowers, please; but I do accept orchids (all colors)), but 'me' as in You; yourself.

Boo'd-up or not, Valentine's Day is definitely a day for self-love (I don't mean in that way, but if it works; hey...do you!). Many go out of their way to make sure the day is perfect for their Valentine, but forget about themselves in the process. It's a day to appreciate yourself, as well. Take some time do something nice for yourself: mani/pedi, facial, massage, purchase something you've been wanting to to get, read to a group of children, volunteer, do a staycation or one-day getaway, partake in something you've been longing to experience; do what you enjoy to do...something you will look back on and it will make you smile (inside and out) and feel good all over.

Thinking about your lover on Valentine' Day, their happiness, and the love (or that love-like thing) the two of you share is wonderful, but we know whose happiness and satisfaction really matters, right?

If you're single; hell, live it up! Don't let it hold you down. Embrace it, claim it, rock with it. Have a Me Day!

All of you: Value yourself. Treasure yourself. LOVE YOURSELF!

THE DISTRACTION! Don't let this be you

It's time to wake up and smell The Folgers! There's a new role in town! Ok, so, it's been around for a while, but we finally have an understanding of it, a description of it, answers for questions surrounding it...a name for it: THE DISTRACTION.

We've all been called "the distraction" in one form or another. Wrecked our brains trying to understand what it meant; confused ourselves trying to decide if we should be flattered or insulted. As we already know...we Good Folk...never win in this game of 'love & dating,' so it shouldn't be anywhere near surprising that "the distraction" [said ever-so sweetly] is an insult. And when said nicely, probably makes it the grand insult, cause then it's like a bitch-slap in the face to go along with it.

Distractions are never good enough to be The One, but possess attractive qualities that are alluring and tempting; you know, worth a taste but not a purchase. Let's take a trip down memory lane; along the way we'll recount the times when you (or someone you know) was THE DISTRACTION:

• Never took you home to meet Mama
• Never met the close/best friends
• Introduces you as "a friend" or "coworker"
• Won't formerly commit
• Sideline Ho (i.e., The Side Piece)
• Rarely go out in public together
• Constantly mentioning recent relationships/ex-lovers
• Just out of a relationship
• Booty-calls only
  
• The ever-too-popular arrangements: friends w/ benefits, f-buddies, etc.
• The Rebound
• Doesn't invite you over
• The String-A-Long (i.e., Let's be friends, I'm not sure what I want)
  

A note to the soon-to-be-wise: if you ever feel as if someone's giving you attention only to take their mind off someone or something else....they're playing you as The Distraction. I'm warning you, now; they will be nice, smooth, and gentle about it. It will sound genuine, but it won't be; it's a game, a charade, an act, an escape...a means to an end. As someone recently explained to me, "there is no need to be rude, especially to someone who finds me fuckable." This is, of course, until the deed is done...then all hell breaks loose and the rudeness is rampant.

If you come across a scene or script where it appears you may be portraying The Distraction...run like the wind! You deserve better; keep it moving!

Do YOU!

words to live by - 6/28/09

"Always do the things you fear the most. Courage is an acquired taste, like caviar."
- Erica Jong

words to live by - 6/9/09

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

--Judy Garland

"You didn't go wrong in life...everyone else is just twisted..shine on...shine on."

-- W. L. Bryant