PSA: Brand New

Don't try to act "brand new" when you're tired, worn, and raggedy as hell; train wrecks are not cute. #BehaveAppropriately

((M+M) + (W+W)) x NY = What's Next?

Now that my fellow same-sex loving New Yorkers can legally (30 days after the signing of the bill?) state those vows and say "I do"....What's next? I'm concerned; very concerned.

I imagine, in the beginning and over the course of a year, an influx of people to the state of New York to get married and an impressive amount of NY'ers legally declaring their love for their partners. With that, I wonder how much of the stereotypes will come true and if the anticipated staggering amounts of revenue will really begin to be generated.

Stereotypes including ginormous, extravagant, and lavish weddings...which will likely be more like major, headlining events; as you know...[a lot of my people] have a tendency to be "extra," attention-grabbing, and straight-up over-the-fabulous-top! In the entertainment/television industry, I can only imagine how many same-sex wedding (and wedding planner) reality shows will be pitched next week and which will be the first network to get a show on the air. If the gay Sexy and the City 2 wedding [video]was any inclination as to what we have to look forward to, this is going to be an interesting and blinding journey. A few friends and I have discussed how outlandish this could be; we know there will be some vying to out-do the next with extremeness and over-the-top gaudiness...and we all know that usually equates to tacky-squared. The Battle for the Biggest/Best Gay Wedding is on! IMAGINE!!! And within NYC, "pop-ups" are the new it thing: stores/shops, restaurants; just to name a few. If I see any pop-up wedding alters, I promise you I'm going to scream like a banshee....and dare somebody to Facebook or YouTube the video.



While I hate to play the devil's advocate (but you know I gladly will), let's not forget that (unfortunately) with same-sex weddings will come the same-sex divorces. Forget reality tv...for these moments, I anticipate books and feature films! You know we can be some greedy, vengeful, ruthless, and fierce b*@ches when crossed, so when we're fighting each other...blockbuster fireworks. The spite, the hate, the you-did-me-wrongs.....chiiiiile, heterosexuals haven't seen a nasty divorce, yet. (Somebody pop me some popcorn!) Cannot wait to see who starts World War 6 (Sir Elton John? Ricky Martin? Ellen DeGeneres? Some local NYer we don't know but will wish were our best friend?)! Sadly [inserted to show a little tenderness and public concern and compassion], I do envision a higher divorce rate among same-sex marriages (especially in the beginning), because I believe many will make the journey to Marriedland because we can, to be one of the firsts, and for all the wrong reasons (i.e., not knowing their partner well enough, not loving themselves first, and not knowing REAL love).

Alas, que sera sera....we and many others will be watching.

For those of you are wondering about me and my wedding, I hope you've read "Before I Say 'I Do'".

Single and Sexy ... with Style

Ok, don't hate me...sexy is as sexy does; and I do me. It comes naturally; it's just who I am.

My style? It's a natural born talent; I can't explain it. But I have cultivated it through the years; nourished it properly and allowed it to grow and blossom into the fabulosity you see (in and around me) every day. I'm fancy, huh? You bet. Classy? Amen! (snap, snap)

While I can't (nor will I ever try) to teach you all of my secrets, I will let you in on a few things. I think most of these are widely and commonly known, yet astonishingly enough...a lot of you are completely in the dark. Please don't try to enlighten me, because I'm afraid to find out.

You may or may not know this, but I don't like to pay full-price...for anything. Somethings I have no choice in the matter and some things just talk to me and touch me in ways that I have to have them right then and there; despite the cost. For everything else...there are sales. Sample sales. Designer sample sales. Members-only designer sample sales.

Allow me to introduce:

Gilt: The premier (and my 1st choice) destination for deals on stylish and trendy designer fashions, home decor and small appliances, travel experiences , beauty and spa treats, gourmet foods (Gilt Taste), and local city and cultural indulgences (Gilt City). Membership highly recommended.

RueLaLa: My runner-up to Gilt. Love it for stylish fashions (their Stylathons are very popular and worth while), small kitchen appliances and cookware (they frequently offer Le Creuset), and travel packages. Recently started with their local city offerings; rather intriguing...and great at introducing you to new local opportunities.

Ideeli: Likely the most cost efficient and great for affordable fashion staples; cannot beat their Red Sales. They also offer items for the home, kitchen, and vacations. Note that their sales are very popular and with the lower prices, they sell out quickly.

Hautelook: Arguably, the first of them all, but unfortunately, my least favorite. I would describe it as a cross between RueLaLa and Ideeli. Nevertheless, I visit them daily; you never know when you'll stumble upon treasure! Definitely a good stop for basics and sunglasses. They recently started offering "Getaway" experiences and frequently offer beauty/cosmetic items.

Other sale sites to consider and register for are Fab.com (designer home decor), Lux Delux (all things must-have and must-experience), and MyHabit (just launched, but a part of Amazon, so you never know where it will go).

Now, while I've just let you in on this; for these resources to be effective, you have to be on top of your game! Don't be sloppy; and no amateurs! 'Limited-time' and 'exclusive' mean something. Get in, learn, and progress; period, full stop.

Singledom...well, it's not for everyone..nor is it always cute. But, we do what we have to do; accentuate the positive!

This Time Around?

I know many have said it before. Hell, I've said it myself a few times: I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday; no, I wouldn't change anything I've done in my life because it wouldn't be me. I get this. I, also, get that some people say it just to speak...they have no idea what they are saying but figure they sound 'deep'. (eye roll) {whatever} Now, what if you were given the opportunity to do something over, again; you know, a second time around. And not because of something you did wrong, but because someone else goofed-up and acted a fool. This is another opportunity for them. An opportunity to either do right by you or to screw you over, again. Would you do it?

A lot of people fail to get and understand this, but I'm one of those people that if you piss me off, I'll willingly, gladly, and before you can even think of it...burn the bridge and blow away the ashes. My philosophy is: if you can strike a match, be able to handle the fire.

So, you know good and well I was beyond surprised when a former co-star reached out to reconnect and came with an admission that they weren't very nice to me. After I moved away from the "floored" look, I was stuck contemplating how to pose the question: are you dumb or just really stupid?

And of course, since music is my life, Janet Jackson's "You Want This" enters my mind: "you want this, but do you really think that you could get this? At first you dissed this now you want to kiss this?" I know you're like me, ready to shake your hip, to the booty slap, and yell "too late...you missed this."

Once that door is opened...all the questions come flying in: what do you want? Why are you here? Why now? If you didn't want me then, what makes you think I want you now? Can I trust you? Can we get along without retaliation? Start over, again?

I'm always growing, improving, and evolving; in constant change (for the better); if it wasn't right then, how is it supposed to be right now? You either have an agenda or you're on a mission; and don't even think I'm about to be your distraction. Homey doesn't play that...AT ALL (unless you have a profitable agenda of your own).

I don’t do any day, any time, or any place. Get it right the first time and quit wasting time. I'm more of a one-time only; come right or stay home kind of guy.

I'll think about it this time around; but, maybe next time.

Cover

WAKE UP! It's time to throw back the covers, plant your feet on the floor, stand up, and look around. Sleeping too long can cause you to rush out of bed and overlook important signs. Are you the only one sleeping with your man? It may be time to blow the cover and see the situation in its bare nakedness; and either check your man or milk it for what it's worth.

While the interest in relationships seems to have disintegrated to hell, the belief and act of committed relationships and the adherence to marriage vows seem to disappearing along with it. It's 2011; technology is progressing, but people aren't socially or emotionally. People are still afraid to show, express, and stand up for who they really are. The DL (Down-Low) life is so old and stale, I just knew it wasn't relevant; but, it somehow morphed into a 'politically-correct-homosexual-all-encompassing' "men who sleep with men." Now, it seems to me, a majority of the men (and other men like them) who were sheepishly using that description are now describing themselves as "straight," but still engaging in not-even-close-to-straight (sexual) behavior and activities.

Ladies, I'm going to help you out...these are your boyfriends and your husbands; many of whom, I'm sure, if you're paying attention to them have some (remote) idea or inclination as a lot of these men aren't as concealed as they believe themselves to be. Ideas to ponder and look for: Is he hard to reach when you're out of town, randomly going places with "one of the boys" at odd times, have a new best male friend appear out of nowhere, or have a close male friend who's wife/girlfriend you've never met (or who's wife/girlfriend you end up spending more time with than you want because the men are always putting the two of you together)? It may be time to get rid of the cover. I see and hear about this stuff far too often; it's sickening and maddening. Many of these men are smart with their slickness but aren't smart enough to know the difference between "discreet" and "discrete." Discreet is now synonymous with deceit, dishonesty, and drama. Neither of which I do or tolerate.

So...COVER, or better yet: what's going on underneath [no punctuation mark]; I'm leaving it open so you can decide for yourself: 1) Is there something going on underneath? 2) Something is going on underneath. Which ever you decide, the "cover" has been on too long and the time has come to blow the top and see the situation in its bare nakedness; act now...before something hits home. It may not be your man keeping you warm at night; but, instead, something from your man..

Ladies, get your girls together; it's time for a movie night! Pop some corn and gather around the couch with a few bottles of wine. The movie to see if Bill Duke's "Cover." Marriage. Betrayal. Secrets...and Lies.



To those men who are hating on me and disliking what I've written about this craziness, I say screw you. If you're man enough to like dick, you should be man enough to live up to it and come out of the closet. No one's holding you back but yourself.

Easter Hors d'œuvre: Spicy BBQ Lobster Deviled Eggs

Nothing spells Easter like a Fourth-Sunday Sunrise Service Fashion Show at church and an Easter Egg Hunt. Until today! Considering I didn't get in bed until 5am, I didn't see me making it to any body's 6am Sunrise Service, but don't worry...Whitney Houston did 'take me to church' (i.e., "I Love The Lord," "He's All Over Me," "I Go to the Rock") during a private service --- I mean, concert. It's widely known that I don't have any kids (and how I feel about that situation) and Easter Hunts are not my thing; therefore, I didn't see me sitting around dyeing any eggs. So, to fix my eggs for Easter needs...I decided to do deviled eggs to go with my dinner.

I wanted to try something different from my usual sinfully delicious deviled egg recipe, so I got resourceful and creative. The results? Some deviled eggs that are out-of-this-world-Imma-bout-to-smack-a-few-peoples-mamas goooood! And because I am not stingy (and because it's been requested), here's the recipe. Now, don't hurt yourself or anyone else...and prepare to get your finger-licking on!

Side note: I'm assuming everyone knows the basic principles of making deviled eggs, so I didn't give detailed instructions on how to do every step. If I have to describe how you boil an egg or slice an egg in preparation for deviled eggs (and forbid I have to tell you to peel the hard-boiled egg), we may have to fight.

SPICY BBQ LOBSTER DEVILED EGGS

Ingredients:

1 doz large hard-boiled eggs

2 tbsp fresh parsley

2 tbsp chopped scallions

1 tbsp cilantro

2 tbsp chopped chives

1 tbsp Dijon mustard

1/3 c canola mayonnaise

1 tbsp hot pepper sauce

8 oz chopped lobster/crab meat

2 tbsp mesquite smoke bbq sauce

Salt & pepper (to taste)

1 tsp red pepper flakes

Pinch cayenne pepper & chili powder

Paprika

Directions:

Slice the dozen hard-boiled eggs in half; lengthwise. Mash the hard-boiled egg yolks in a bowl. Add next 12 ingredients to bowl with egg yolks. Mix together. Fill the halved egg whites with the yolk mixture (a teaspoon full works perfectly). Sprinkle each filled egg white half with paprika. Refrigerate for at least two hours; then serve.

HAPPY EASTER!

Cherish

Life is precious. Life is valuable. Life is not always kind, but Life is what we make of it.

Why is it that we as a people in today's world get lost in the hustle and bustle of daily nonsense, technology advancement, and career and social over- drive/kill; yet we never take time to indulge in and enjoy the priceless presents we are blessed to receive during our lifetime? Family, friends, lovers, sensational coworkers, love (in general and romantic terms), priceless moments, and random acts of kindness ... all precious gifts in life, yet we never seize the opportunity to enjoy the present (as in present time). As the saying goes, "Life is a gift; enjoy the present."

Given today's society where things (fatal things; life-changing things) can happen in an unexpected and unplanned instance, I'm amiably trying to encourage folks to take time to enjoy and appreciate the gifts of life and to cherish those moments and times where we're happy and filled with bliss. Yes, those vary moments we often overlook and regret once all opportunities are forever taken away from us. Cherish and enjoy each second to the maximum capacity; as that could be the last second you ever get to experience that happy moment.

Stop procrastinating! No putting off for tomorrow what can be done today (tomorrow may never make it to today). No more putting trivial and professional before personal and pleasurable. No more "oh, I'll do it next time." Next Time may never arrive.

Seize the day!
Live in the moment!
Embrace right now!
Be present in the present!
Cherish forever and always!!!