Guidelines to Good Dating

or in other words: The Rules. Are there any rules? A few years back there was that popular book "The Rules" (I believe that was the name of it). Notice it was a fad. I mean, is it even still in print?

People have been dishing the dos and don'ts of dating since what seems like the beginning of time (not that I've been around that long), and dating now seems to be worse than ever. Especially if you're looking for something .... shall we say... [insert those dreaded "s" and "c" words (i.e., 'serious,' 'committed') here].

For each attempt we make at dating, we enter it with a new game strategy without having the slightest clue as to what will work...but you can't tell us that it won't work. We learn from TV and movies (despite the fact that most of it is fiction -- as in, it's what someone else's imagination wanted it to be), from the lives of those around us (they screwed up this way, but I can make it work for me), and from our previous attempts at love [in all the wrong places and times]. We end up taking from the good, taking from the bad, taking from both the good and the bad, and we end up with (ok, "the facts of life"), but still...it is all essentially NOTHING.

While we're playing our game, we forget that our target/person-of-interest is playing their own game. I guess it's when we get caught up in playing offense and defense simultaneously that we lose focus, trip, and stumble.

So, do you really want the Guidelines to Good Dating? Are you prepared to handle the cold truth? You better get ready, cause I'm about to tell it like it is.

These are the Guidelines to Good Dating according to Yours Truly. These guidelines are fool-proof and must work; not because they've been tested...not because I've tried them in my own [single] love life or observed them being used by someone in my life...but because they make since to me. So, do them right!

1. Be yourself
2. Be open to learning and accepting things about your person-of-interest (POI)
3. Be honest -- with yourself and with your POI
4. Don't start your involvement with any preconceived notions or expectations
5. Keep your standards, but let them be flexible (no, preconceived notions or expectations does not mean lose your standards)
6. Be ready to accept and embrace (positive) change
7. Have fun!

These are my guidelines. Stick to them and do what's best for you. Don't hurt yourself (or anyone else); show interest in your POI, but don't stalk. That's neither cute nor sexy.

A Change Will Come

Change. It's inevitable; it will come.

The key is for you to be prepared and ready to accept and make the best of it.

For growth, change has to come. There always comes a point where it's time to make something different what it is and what it could be if left as is. As individual people, we are constantly evolving, growing, and changing. With that, we need the people and the things around us to change, as well -- in a positive manner that reinforces and supports who we are, what we represent, and where we strive to reach.

I prefer to think of degeneration as a change for the worse. We can't go for that! It is our personal responsibility to guide and shape change into something positive; something that elevates us to a height we have yet to experience and will act as a new platform for us to achieve greater altitudes in the future.

Change will come. Change will be different. Change can be frightening, but do not be afraid. Guide change. Shape it. Make change what you want it to be.

A change is gonna come. Are you ready?