Not Built To Break

Solid. Durable. Indestructible.

I'm not talking about a building, a wall, or a new shield or protective product, but SELF....self-power, self-esteem, and self-strength. We are only as strong as we know and allow ourselves to be.

We are the foundations to our own individual empires. We must strengthen and position ourselves so our empires cannot break. We can do this by reinforcing our structure with pride, confidence, and an understanding of our weaknesses. Knowing our weaknesses, increasing our self-confidence, and nurturing our self-pride will allow us to stand strong.

Coming to know my strength has made me a better person. I know my weaknesses, my strengths, and my limits.

I sometimes trip, I sometimes stumble, I rarely fall, and I never crumble.

A special "thank you" to Whitney Houston for teaching me the importance of knowing my own strength and for giving us all the powerful phrase and motto: "I was not built to break."

Approach with Caution

I've said it before; now, I'm saying it, again: People have lost their damn minds. Especially in regards to decency in dating. What is going on? I have no clue; which is why I'm grateful for having established my personal "rules" years ago. Call me a diva if you want, but I cannot do the craziness. A long time ago, I had to break it down for people...

1. Don't bother me
2. Don't speak to me unless I have given you permission
3. Do NOT touch me

The list goes on, but it's beginning to look like I'll have to add a few more rules and include some side notes. I don't know if it's the use of the internet or the social acceptance of more relaxed behaviors that has encouraged people to do things that piss me off or if it's caused people to be bold and brazen with their actions. What ever the cause, I'm stating it here and now:

1. Approach me incorrectly and I'm shutting you down
2. Approach me for no reason at all and I'll show you how I "walk on by"
3. Approach me with your game together and, well...be prepared to lose your breath

Back to those who have lost their minds. People, I don't know what's going on, but....

• Don't send me messages that say "call me [phone number]." I know I'm a celebrity, but I have no idea who you are...what makes you think I want to call you? Try a proper introduction.
• Don't send me one or two word messages with pictures of body parts that are normally covered by clothes and none of body parts that are typically open to the public. That's just nasty...and often frightening.
• Don't stare at me and not say anything.
• Don't walk up to me and ask to kiss me or state other actions you would like to enjoy. I DON'T KNOW YOU...and I don't get down like that. I'm classy.
• Don't push up on me in a club with the bump-and-grind motions. I'm too grown for that and I know your mama taught you better than that.
• DO NOT approach me with crazy lines talking about I remind you of a car or your bank account. I don't even know what it means, but I'm sure it only works for R. Kelly and it probably only works for him because he has the bank account and cars (take note of the 's' denoting the plural form of the word).
  

I, mean....really? People, let's do better. A few months ago, I posted a piece mentioning other reasons (ok, more less people) as to why I am (still?) single. The above are simply more contributions and explanation. I'm telling you, it's all a bunch of crazy -ish.

You've been warned: I'm hot as fire and about to explode...APPROACH WITH CAUTION.

Guidelines to Good Dating

or in other words: The Rules. Are there any rules? A few years back there was that popular book "The Rules" (I believe that was the name of it). Notice it was a fad. I mean, is it even still in print?

People have been dishing the dos and don'ts of dating since what seems like the beginning of time (not that I've been around that long), and dating now seems to be worse than ever. Especially if you're looking for something .... shall we say... [insert those dreaded "s" and "c" words (i.e., 'serious,' 'committed') here].

For each attempt we make at dating, we enter it with a new game strategy without having the slightest clue as to what will work...but you can't tell us that it won't work. We learn from TV and movies (despite the fact that most of it is fiction -- as in, it's what someone else's imagination wanted it to be), from the lives of those around us (they screwed up this way, but I can make it work for me), and from our previous attempts at love [in all the wrong places and times]. We end up taking from the good, taking from the bad, taking from both the good and the bad, and we end up with (ok, "the facts of life"), but still...it is all essentially NOTHING.

While we're playing our game, we forget that our target/person-of-interest is playing their own game. I guess it's when we get caught up in playing offense and defense simultaneously that we lose focus, trip, and stumble.

So, do you really want the Guidelines to Good Dating? Are you prepared to handle the cold truth? You better get ready, cause I'm about to tell it like it is.

These are the Guidelines to Good Dating according to Yours Truly. These guidelines are fool-proof and must work; not because they've been tested...not because I've tried them in my own [single] love life or observed them being used by someone in my life...but because they make since to me. So, do them right!

1. Be yourself
2. Be open to learning and accepting things about your person-of-interest (POI)
3. Be honest -- with yourself and with your POI
4. Don't start your involvement with any preconceived notions or expectations
5. Keep your standards, but let them be flexible (no, preconceived notions or expectations does not mean lose your standards)
6. Be ready to accept and embrace (positive) change
7. Have fun!

These are my guidelines. Stick to them and do what's best for you. Don't hurt yourself (or anyone else); show interest in your POI, but don't stalk. That's neither cute nor sexy.

A Change Will Come

Change. It's inevitable; it will come.

The key is for you to be prepared and ready to accept and make the best of it.

For growth, change has to come. There always comes a point where it's time to make something different what it is and what it could be if left as is. As individual people, we are constantly evolving, growing, and changing. With that, we need the people and the things around us to change, as well -- in a positive manner that reinforces and supports who we are, what we represent, and where we strive to reach.

I prefer to think of degeneration as a change for the worse. We can't go for that! It is our personal responsibility to guide and shape change into something positive; something that elevates us to a height we have yet to experience and will act as a new platform for us to achieve greater altitudes in the future.

Change will come. Change will be different. Change can be frightening, but do not be afraid. Guide change. Shape it. Make change what you want it to be.

A change is gonna come. Are you ready?

E. Lynn Harris **NEW Novel** Mama Dearest

Help us take Mama Dearest, by E. Lynn Harris, to #1

MAMA DEAREST available in stores and online Tuesday, September 22nd.



MAMA DEAREST marks the return of Yancy Harrington Braxton. Need I say more?

Ex-Boyfriend Material

2 Days.
2 Weeks.
2 Months.

The length of some of my best (in my opinion) relationships. Okay, maybe not 'the best,' but definitely the duration of a [quality] few that I thought should have lasted longer than their expiration date. But, that's just me; obviously, others thought otherwise.

After being involved with someone and whatever you have fizzles after two weeks...and this happens so often it seems to be a trend...you begin to understand the phrase "always a bridesmaid, never a bride." With that, me being me and all that I am, you know I have to dress this up a little bit...make it modern and trendy ... so we'll say "Ex-Boyfriend Material." It's hip, it's cute ... and I'm looking for a way to make it British. Okay, I'm, but wouldn't that make it even hotter???

Ex-Boyfriend Material. Think about it...it's perfect and it's smart. Tells you everything from the get-go: All you've ever wanted without the hassle of a long-term commitment -- a dream partner!

Caring
Thoughtful
Considerate
Respectful
Loyal
Generous (but don't get it twisted, I don't give away certain things and I don't support all causes)
Communicative
Compassionate
Educated
Romantic (when I want to be)
Honest
Sincere
and much more; including 'full of life with my own personal flair' -- it's all about the personality!

I never fully understood what was going on in my life; then, I realized I was overlooking my value and what I offer. I'm the new it guy...and never knew it! No one ever told me despite the fact they seem to have been hooked to the game. But I got it, now; I'm on it! I know...if these are the qualities that make me Ex-Boyfriend Material, I don't want to be Boyfriend Material.

Sad, but true.

smh

High Standards: The Markings of a Closet Sadist?

Decide what you want. State what you want. And don't settle for less. I don't see anything wrong with that; it's who I am, it's what I do...it's me!

I'm all about the specifics and details. Why waste time with the mundane or settling for something that doesn't satisfy your requirements? What's the point? You're only going to spend time trying to improve beyond repair or waste even more time trying to get what you're actually searching for.

Others don't understand; they criticize saying my standards are too high or I'm searching for an ideal. In a way, they're right. I'm always searching for an ideal; not because I'm deeply rooted in misery and unhappiness, but because I'm a perfectionist -- I'm constantly searching for the perfect piece to complete the puzzle--my puzzle! I search for my ideal; no one else's. What's right for me, isn't going to be right for someone else. Understand that!

A closet sadist? For knowing and going after what I want? I know not. If anyone is being tortured, it's me for dealing with those who know they can't fulfill the requirements, but still want to be in the way. Wasting time...and torturing me softly.

Advice for a Hussy

By no way and in no means is this a "user guide to gold-digging and gold-diggers" or a "how to succeed in gold-digging" post. Consider it more of a "things I shouldn't forget when degrading myself" or "how not to annoy Syieve" tip sheet.

Gold-digging is probably as old as prostitution, but before the trendy renaming, I believe it was more commonly known as "seducing." You know, 'how to get what I want without working for it and making someone else think I'm interested in them.'

Now, considering the practice has been around for ages and we're in 2009--the age of strength, independence, and individuality....brace yourself for Tip #1.

• Tip #1: Be You. Do you. Get Your Own. Get yourself and your life together -- make a name for yourself, stand strong, take care of you, and get what's yours. Stop relying on others and don't spend your life saying "gimme" ... unless you're giving something as equally good (if not better) in return.
• Tip #2: Transparency isn't cute. If you do try to take advantage of another or others; have an A-Game, don't half step. Not sexy! Again, it's age-old and there are many competitors. Your ulterior motives should be smooth and unnoticeable. There's nothing less seductive than a tramp with a visible goal. Be smart, fool yourself if you have to, and don't wear your dreams on your sleeves.
• Tip #3: Be a sport about it; have a positive attitude. If someone calls you out as a Golddigger {see side note 3b}, don't be upset and have an attitude. It's your own damn fault. You're an amateur trying to be a professional and failed. Suck it up, deal with it, and follow-up on Tip #1. Be proactive.

Tip #3b: Being labeled a "gold-digger" isn't an honor, so don't gloat if you get labeled.

Take these tips with a grain of salt, if you want. I admit, I AM NOT A GOLD-DIGGER (contrary to popular belief), but I do know what a gold-digger should not be and should never do.

Now, take it to the bank and cash-in on it!

Antsy with Anticipation

You never know what to expect when you're eagerly anticipating something to happen. It seems as if everything related to it makes you eager and antsy; your anticipation level creeps higher . This, I know.

Two of my most eagerly anticipated events of the year, possibly of the decade thus far, are less than two months away: Monday, August 31, 2009 and Tuesday, September 22, 2009.

When I say "I'm pumped!" It's an understatement. Both of these events I've been waiting on and wanting for years. My dreams are about to become a reality!

Monday, August 31, 2009

The release of Whitney Houston's long-awaited new CD, I Look To You. I've heard a few songs from the CD and each one makes me want it more and more...and sooner! She looks and sounds great; all money is on her! Visit the official Whitney Houston site to hear "Million Dollar Bill" and "I Look To You."















Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The release of, Mama Dearest -- what is assumed to be the last novel by the late, great E. Lynn Harris. Mama Dearest marks the return of E. Lynn's saucy character Yancy Harrington Braxton. Need I say more!? If you know Yancy, that's all I need to say. If you don't know Yancy, you better get an introduction...QUICK!

Mark your calendars for both of these dates...and don't forget!

Movie Review: Julie & Julia

JULIE & JULIA [Meryl Streep, Amy Adams]

Appetizing. Delectable. Warmingly delicious. 'The butter to your bread.' Meryl Streep and Amy Adams deliver remarkable performances in this funny, heart-warming, mouth-watering, and loving comedy. This is truly the feel-good movie of the summer that will leave you satisfied, yet hungry. It's bound to have you running to three places after you see it: 1) the bookstore [for a Julia Child's cookbook] 2) the grocery store [for recipe ingredients...most likely beef chunks, lobster, and butter -- which makes everything taste better] and 3) your kitchen [to utilize numbers 1 and 2].

A minor detail in the movie, that most will likel overlook, but I just adore, praise, and highly recommend...COOKWARE. Both Julia and Julie used Le Creuset brand pots. These are my ABSOLUTE FAVES; there is nothing better. Trust me...I live by these pots and many of their other cookware line items. Many don't understand my fascination with them, but once you use them...you'll know. They are like gold...and make the best gifts! [hint, hint]

Go ahead, run to see this movie and prepare to get your cook on!

Whitney Houston

The Weight of Sexiness

Does my sexiness make me look *phat?

If so, is it like water weight--not as significant as people think--or a credential that puts you ahead of the competition?

Aim to be sexy...plus. Sexiness is only a part of the whole; it will get you in the door, but it won't keep you in the house. If anything, it's the icing on the cake that lets you come and go in the house freely; until you screw up. Sexiness is the pizazz, finesse, and polished touch over a core, solid foundation; such as a friendship, but it can also be the perfect accessory for a cute quirk or common belief. Don't get trapped with those who only see the sexy, and don't invest the time it takes to explore and find your other main core components--the components that make and represent who you truly are and what you have to offer. Your Essence. The person who does this should be someone who believes in you, all you do, and all you have to offer.

If you're after the sexy, don't get caught up on the wrapping; be sure to examine the package. Step up to the sexy plate and know what to do and how to handle it. Begin to explore and search for the components that make up the whole. What stands out as exceptional, rare, and of quality? What compliments the sexy and vice versa? Find what would make you attracted to the person, even if they aren't sexy. Discover someone with the qualities you believe in who is also someone you can believe in.

While many people place an emphasis on looks and sex appeal, it's the combination of many factors that adds, makes the whole, and makes the big difference in determining the keepers and the throw backs.

Sexiness has diminishing powers; in the eyes of another, you can have it one day and not the next. Be sure to discover, develop, and hone other appealing traits, because compared to the factors that matter, sexiness is a light-weight.


*For those of you who still don't know and are too embarrassed or not embarrassed at all to ask,
phat = pretty, hott, and tempting.

Rebuilding Bridges

"Be careful of the bridges you burn, because you never know when you'll have to cross them, again." I'm sure you received this advice growing up, probably about as many times as you heard "Eat your vegetables" and "Look both ways before crossing the street."

Well, you know, this IS me, so let me tell you, I'm the master of burning bridges AND blowing away the ashes--you know I have to make it pop and 'kick it up a notch.' As for worrying about having to cross it, again; why bother? If you're, like me, pissed off to the point where you had to torch it; there obviously isn't anything (or anyone in a lot of cases) valuable "on the other side" that you would want or need to see, again. Besides, if there was a reason that I should ever need to cross; trust me, I'll get over. There's always another way across. Zip line, anyone!?

As time passes and life's journeys take us down various roads and across vast terrains, we have the occasional instances of dejavu -- either from a place that feels eerily familiar or from a place that is familiar. These are the moments where we think back on bridges that once were. Honestly, I sometimes think "what if" the bridge hadn't been burned and blown away; just unused. How would things have turned out? With me, that's often as far as it goes...again, I burned it or stopped traveling it for a reason. It's an extremely rare moment when I regret a past action/decision.

True Story: I ran across someone...or rather, someTHING...from my past a few days ago. We haven't had a connection in years; I couldn't remember if the bridge was burned, destroyed, it desentegrated, or if we just slowly and mutually grew apart because it was the healthiest thing to do. I couldn't recall us having any major issues; so, considering the time that had passed and how well I've grown, matured, maintained and heightened my level of sexiness (yes, I have redefined "grown and sexy"), I decided to at least do my part and establish a connection with "the other side." Don't get me wrong, this is 2009 and I am a highly efficient person (and Diva in My Own Right), so I didn't bother looking for a bridge that may or may not continue to be in existence. I used technology; I won't state which method; I'll let you choose: cellphone, text, Twitter, Facebook, email. That's all I'm doing; this is a two-way street. I've done my part...and let's not forget, this is ME; and I don't travel for other people.

i'm still here

Hello Loves!

Please forgive me for being MIA these past few weeks. Time has been flying by at record pace and I've been swamped with far too many things. FEAR NOT...I have not forgotten you or "You Know You Want This." Posts are in the works and coming soon. One by end of week (August 8th)...or your money back.

Just wanted to drop by and say 'hi.'

Missing you madly.

Be back soon.

Whitney Houston

words to live by - 6/28/09

"Always do the things you fear the most. Courage is an acquired taste, like caviar."
- Erica Jong

I Pray For You; I Thank You

Have people lost their damn minds or are many truly clueless as to how they act? Apparently, decency, respect, and consideration of others are lost art forms or artifacts of the past. So, again, I step onto my soapbox...this time, to address one individual...but for the universe to hear.

To my male, 41 year old (42 in August), "peach" of a so-called friend who repeatedly wonders why he's [still] single: Electronic communication seems to be your preferred method of communication, so allow me to appease and enlighten you, simultaneously....You're crazy as hell, behave in childish ways, and do stupid sh!t. You are too grown for that; and when I say grown, I mean OLD. Yet, again, I repeat: STUPIDITY IS NOT SEXY.

While, verbally, you don't say much; your actions speak volumes. De-friending someone on an online social network instead of actually communicating with them? That's mature; yet, expected of someone who wasn't really a friend. Drama? Childishness? Foolishness? I don't need it; and with that, I don't need (or want) you, either.

So, I hold my head high and I say "Thank You!" Thank you for what you are and what you aren't man enough to be. Thank you for running away. Thank you for stepping to the left and allowing someone better to step in from the right. While you won't be missed; I do wish you well.

Now, watch me as I blow kisses to the air, turn, skip, and sashay down the Highway of Life.

FABULOUS!

[and now, I exhale...shoop, shoop]

THE WIZ brings it 'Home'

The bricks for that famous yellow road have been relayed...and it's all golden!

This long-awaited revival of the 1975 hit delivers on every point. Ashanti delivers a strong performance; quickly silencing those who were expecting less of her. Tichina Arnold mesmerizes and entertains as Evillene; managing to give the 'wicked' character a grand and likable quality. Dawnn Lewis gives a dead-on, fun, and hilarious portrayal of Addaperle. Christian Dante White graces us with a surprising and thoroughly enjoyable performance as Scarecrow. Talk about totally lovable! Just makes you want to squeeze and hug him; it's like he's stuffed with Charmin instead of straw.

The acting. The singing. The dancing. The production elements combine to take you on an unforgettable journey to Oz. Ashanti, Tichina Arnold, Dawnn Lewis, and the rest of the amazing cast sweep you into their world and never let you go; from the time the curtain goes up through the last note of "Home," there's never a dull moment.

The big plus? The choreography! I can't even begin to describe it in a way that would give it justice, but it was beautiful and creative. The way it's used to show lapse time and travel...in genius! You must check it out for yourself.

If you liked WICKED, you ain' seen nothing, yet. So, what are you waiting for? Ease on down the road to see this production! The final performance is scheduled for July 5th, 2009. Don't wait until the last minute, because you'll want to see it twice! Audience members are giving it 9.3 to 10 stars!!!

Tickets for The Wiz can be purchased by clicking here,visiting nycitycenter.org, or calling 212-581-1212.

The Wiz is a 1975 Broadway musical, an adaptation by Ken Harper of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum, exclusively featuring African American actors.

words to live by - 6/9/09

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

--Judy Garland

"You didn't go wrong in life...everyone else is just twisted..shine on...shine on."

-- W. L. Bryant

Houston, We Have Countdown!

The Legend. The Diva. The Voice.

2 Emmy Awards
6 Grammy Awards
7 consecutive #1 Billboard Hot 100 hits
16 Billboard Music Awards
23 American Music Awards
over 170 million combined worldwide sales of albums, singles, and videos

The Worldwide Superstar, Singing Sensation, and Incomparable...

WHITNEY HOUSTON

She's done it all...

• Enjoyed a moment in time
• Gave good love
• Danced with somebody who loved her
• Was the Queen of the Night
• Was every woman
• Checked into the Heartbreak Hotel
• Wrote a Dear John Letter
• Exhaled
• Went to The Rock
• Learned from the best
• Took it step by step
• and now...

She returns!

The long-awaited album from Whitney Houston arrives:

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2009

THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN!

Y'all know when it comes to Whitney I get "so emotional" I can't help myself! I can't tell you how excited I am for this new album! September 1st will probably be the most fun-filled and happiest day I've had in about 3 years. CAN'T WAIT!!!!

People Wonder Why I'm Single

...DATING AIN'T EASY!

Even for me...with all my sex appeal, swag, and fabulosity...in a city with far too many millions of people. It doesn't mean a thing; except that there are...

*more freaks (and not in a good way)

*more geeks (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but these are of the unsexy variety and many are crazy as all hell. s-c-a-r-y!)

*more people who don't do/aren't into/afraid of...commitment. (I don't get it; the way people react to "the c-word," it's as if it will take you six weeks and a prescription or a shot to get rid of it. I must not be considering something...will someone please enlighten me?) [PS: it's not commitment that will do you in; it's that "L" word -- 4 letters; In a movie, Halle Berry said "it's like some kind of disease you just catch."]

*more people who "just got out of something serious" (which implies that I somehow missed the boat...or maybe I'm on the wrong island; everyone I encounter seems to be getting off the boat...maybe I should be on the other island getting ON the boat. Hmmmm.)

*more people who just want sex (Sex; and sex only...some are even willing to pay for it; this is what I've been told...no one's offered to pay me. SAD...I can't seem to get any kind of paying gig. lol.)

*more people who don't want to be your Sugar Daddy/Momma because someone else took them through the ringer or they think their friends will judge them (Now, if you have the friend situation...you need new friends. I think it's time I say this: to this day, I have yet to be involved [notice I said 'involved' and not 'met'] with someone who even qualifies to be one of my personal sponsors [the Sugar Daddy/Momma thing is sooooo o-u-t]. Just because you make more money than I do, doesn't mean you can afford me; and also...Tumi isn't [that] expensive and I don't need you to take care of me.)

*more people who are intimated by me and my fabulousness (What can I say? I'm me...I have always been and I will always be. I have excellent taste in quality things...much of it just happens to be expensive. Get use to it!) [Here's what I don't understand about this caveat.....it seems to me that those who notice and are uncomfortable with my taste in things fail to realize that I have interest in them -- of course, this only applies to those whom I actually have interest. I don't get it. Enlighten me?]

*more people who party (Do I even need to mention the smokers and drug users? Smoke annoys the hell out of me and drugs I'm not even trying to get into. So, the way I see it, being around those who have these factors in their life [more so drugs than smoking] invites unappreciated drama and pressure in my life. Do I need it? Do I want it? Hell to the no!)

*more people who don't satisfy my standards and requirements (Call me a bitch...call me mean...call me jaded...call me bitter...call me scorned....call me anything you want, but you will NEVER call me unsatisfied, because I REFUSE to settle. No way; no how...not going to happen.

I keep meeting candidates who fall into one or more of the above categories. There are a few more, but these are the simple answers to why I (and I'm sure countless others) am single...so quit asking. The next person who asks may just have to get bitch-slapped...Knots Landing and Dynasty style.

And for those who have the audacity and unmitigated gall to ponder...yes, it's them and not me. Don't get it twisted!

The Heart of the Matter

We often fight about and overlook the core of a problem, focusing on the minor details and other elements we choose to place in the way. Hoping that by paying attention to them, we will gain insight on or cover the real issue. But we never do; instead, we kick up dust, waste energy, and throw away precious time that could have been spent doing something constructive. It's time we (as a people) do better and stop beating around the bush...save time; be more efficient; be better and stronger people; and be more direct. Let's get to the bottom of what really counts....the heart of the matter.

Guilt and Free Dates

Money and time -- items in life practically everyone wants more of; there never seems to be enough and we can never seem to have enough. Love, or at the VERY least, a good date, is on the list for many people, as well.

All of my fellow NYC peeps and others who live in big cities and/or have chaotic lives filled with time-consuming responsibilities, these are just things we add to our Life List and deal with it. City-folk and busy-folk...we know how and love to kill two birds with one stone, which is why I was SHOCKED to hear one of my friends say she would find it weird to take a date to something for which she was given complimentary tickets...AND SHE IS FROM NYC. W...T...H!?!? I am a sexy Southerner and it did not take me long to realize that dating in NYC is not cute...or fun; although, it can be oddly entertaining. I was quick (but not that quick) to discover that 98% of the people you go out with (on a date) in attempts of getting to know them are...crazy...as... hell, plus two. They will talk a good game, but have no idea how to actually play. They say the things you want to hear, but they will talk until they sound stupid.

My favorite are those who enjoy learning about and experiencing culture; yet, they hate museums, have never been to a Broadway show (or any theatrical piece), think art galleries only exist on television, and refuse to eat anything that cannot be beaten over the head or doesn't resemble something their mother cooks at least three times a month. Now, what a better way to test the "culture" level of your date than by taking them to a "comp'd" event? You get to do something you enjoy and test them...all for F-R-E-E! It's priceless. No Mastercard required.

If you want, you can do something simple (and cheap) before or after; as in coffee/tea, appetizers, or dessert. I recommend doing something simple post event -- that way, the event gives you a subject to discuss and if you find out during the event you can't stand your new suitor, you can bolt after it's over...or during; your choice. You should really try this; I'm sure your date won't mind. If you feel bad about it not costing you anything: 1) don't tell them and 2) if there are tickets involved, have the tickets in your possession at all times and do not let them see the tickets [keep in mind, this is most useful if the tickets indicate that they didn't cost you anything. There's nothing to lose! If anything, the only thing you'll lose is the time you could have spent being with someone you already know/like/love. But think about it...now you can call one of those people and rant about the date...laughing and praising together.

So, your night will still end on a high note!

If you still feel guilty about taking a date to a free/comp'd event, you don't deserve the tickets. Send them to me! You know I like public appearances and VIP invites. [smile]

Social Impact Marketing: A Funny Thing Happening on My Way to...

...Jamba Juice.
It was somewhat near lunchtime. I was on my way to get my food fix. Lookin' flyy; being cute as ever...color-coordinated ensemble in effect and my orange scarf to make it pop! Clearing paths and making my way down the street; no one walking beside me or in front of me, and are at least 4 steps back. Quasi-Naomia Campbell Walk? Not much sashay-chantay...just what comes naturally; which is enough for me to find it unbelievably hysterical when the guy attempted to hand me a flyer advertising "Flash Dancers." What am I supposed to do there...get paid to take my clothes off or get paid to keep my clothes on????

And that's my funny moment of the day; at least, so far. It ain't over...!

Why You Wanna Get Funky On Me?

I am me.
I have always been me. I will always be me. Point blank, plain and simple, that's all there is to it.
There are some people who have at least one problem with me: they can't handle me, think I'm mean, think I hold people to impossible standards, or some other foolishness. I say....get over it, deal with it, or move the hell on. I don't expect much of people...just to be themselves, act accordingly, and to do what they say they are going to do. Do that and we'll get along wonderfully. However, with "just be yourself," comes the understanding and assumption that people bathe daily. It should be a personal ritual, people. If it's not...get on it and make it one. Your body should be thoroughly cleansed, at least once a day. Twice daily doesn't hurt; and yes, there are times when three times a day are required.
Yesterday was a mid 70's day, temperature wise. Summer hasn't officially started yet, so it's going to get hotter. THEREFORE, there is NO need for people to be smelling already. I mean, this wasn't just a smell, it was a stinch. P-U. Ewwww.

General notes:

• If it's 8am in the morning (or some other time of the day) and you're on your way to work; you should not smell and you should not be dirty
• Apply an even coat of deordorant; if you don't use deordorant, DO NOT raise your arms in the presence of others
• Shower/bathe at least ONCE daily; more if needed
• You don't have to smell like roses or lavender, but natural musk isn't the way to go
• Like stupidity, stink ain't sexy

Yes, this is my public service announcement: STOP THE FUNK! Make the world a better smelling place.

Jet-Setting

Okay...I'm sitting in an airport waiting for my flight back home. I'm trying to contain myself, cause we all know how much I like waiting and how exciting it is to sit in airports. [rolls eyes] Anyway, me being me...as I sit here (dressed quasi-celebrity incognito...with a bright yellow jacket) I'm people watching, and I realize...I either need to travel more or travel less; I'm not sure. What I see isn't the most appealing site. Every flight I take seems to involve fellow travels who make me want to sleep: at the gate, during the flight, as I take my very public means of transportation home. I mean, really, I know airlines are cutting back...we had mini pretzels sticks on the departing flight from NYC...no more peanuts or promotional snacks that make you even think of purchasing them once you land....but can we at least get some decent "eye" candy???

Although, this morning...I'm not complaining...yet. So far, no loud, screaming, or crying kids. AND...an added bonus...no one coughing, sneezing, or uncontrollably gawking at me.

Can't wait to see my seat mate. Should be f-u-n. (smile)

Loud Words; Screaming Actions

60 seconds in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 24 hours in a day. 365 days in a year. For many people...this isn't enough; need. more. time. Five minutes...just give me five more minutes.

In a world where time is money, money is time, happiness is an illusion, success doesn't come with a guarantee, satisfaction is a desire constantly trying to be satiated, work is overrated, and bills are never ending...spare time is a luxury many can't afford. And seems to be the one thing the government (or a company using as a marketing strategy) hasn't instituted a bail-out for. So, with that said...what's with fan-stand game players? Unknowingly to themselves, they seem to have a vast amount of disposable time. They are always willing to waste other people's time, yet they are the primary screamers of: I'm swamped; I'm busy; I have so much to do. Puh-leeze. The only thing you have to do is get a clue and stop wasting time.

For those who don't know, fan-stand game players are those who consistently waste your time with foolishness, talk too damn much, and think the shortest distance between two points is a curved line. They are the people who talk a "great" game; I mean, they seem to know the rules, they could write a "tips and tricks" ultimate user guide, AND they promote and publicize like you've never heard before. They could sell Voss to someone drowning in the ocean. The problem...when they step to the plate to play the game. Zilch! They can't play worth a cuss, but still think they have skills. It's one of those moments when the audience goes silent, you can here the wind blowing, and the prime time to say and think, "Sit...your...ass...down."

I understand people overcompensate, but why exaggerate when you aren't good at playing the game? YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME! And those who feel the need to run around the field before they go to First Base. W...T...F!?!? YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME! Actually, you're wasting both of our time. Be upfront, say what you want from the get-go. That way, a strategy can be developed and if the teams want to play...game on! If not, scrimage around until you can find a suitable, opposing (yet complementing) team. Don't make me want to slap you. Again, stupid ain't sexy. Say what you want and want what you say.

PSA: If you're one of these "fan-stand game players," I'm here to help. Streamlining, organizing, and ingefficiency are a few of my specialities. Contact me. I'll get you to a better organized, time-efficient, and less-annoying YOU!

All for a relatively less affordable and exclusive price.

The Power of O

Yes, orgasms are powerful, but I'm talking about the other 'O'; the Big O....Oprah.

Admit it, the woman has it going on; far too many people want to either be her or be like her. Practically everything she touches turns to gold -- unknown authors and unheard-of books become bestselling authors with New York Times #1 Bestselling Books, diets become popular trends and healthier lifestyles, and coupons cause chaos over chicken. CHICKEN! Ok, it was KFC Grilled chicken, but still...chicken, y'all. Someone said it was billed as a chicken dinner; so, what does that mean...two pieces and a biscuit; maybe some coleslaw or mashed potatoes and gravy on the side? I don't care, I still don't see me standing in line for it; especially if I have to partake in a sit-in or weave my way through a parking lot that looks as if it's an outdoor night club because are so many people trying to redeem a coupon...for some damn chicken. I may not be Aretha, but ain't no way!

But I am not mad at Ms. O; that is truly nice work....and I'm definitely trying to get it! Besides, even I have my own list of favorite things. Hey...it's the Oprah in me.

If You Don't Fit...

...DO NOT SIT! It's really as simple as that, yet far too many people don't seem to understand it.

Here's the thing...on the newer and newest subway trains (the MR60's, I think) in NYC approximately three average sized adults can fit in each section (excluding handicap accessible seating). Depending on the size of the seat occupants, 4 to 5 people can sit. In some of the extreme cases I've seen, you can comfortably fit two grown-ass adults (I mean, grown...really 'grown'--read between the lines on that one) and a small child (like 3 years old) in a section. Now, will someone please tell me why is it that there is always some grown-ass person who feels to need to sit someplace they can't fit??? My hip is small and fragile, I do not (let me repeat that...DO NOT) want you sitting on it; despite how cute you are (or think you are), how small you are...DO NOT SIT ON MY HIP. Today was something else...still unbelievable. Two healthy-looking adults were seated; leaving a small space (perfectly suited for a child) between them. Why-oh-why...someone please tell me WHY did some moron feel the need to squeeze between the two of them...which caused one to be squeezed into the side rail and the other to push me over--and you know I don't like people touching my body. The looks on the faces of the people sitting across from us said two things: 1) I feel sorry for you and 2) She knows good and well she is far too grown to be sitting there. And said 'Grown Person' sat there like she was in a state of heavenly comfort...just waiting on someone to peel her a frozen grape. Rush Hour in NYC...gotta love it.

Movie Review: Obsessed, Wolverine

Obsessed [Idris Elba, Beyonce Knowles, Ali Larter]
The tag line for this movie should have been: When Addiction Takes a Wrong Turn.
From the start, I recommend this movie. I wasn't disappointed at all...in the script, in the overall movie, or in Beyonce's acting -- she did well and she's continuing to grow. Her character had a few good lines that will have you laughing and clapping. But I'm telling you...she worked those high-heeled boots in her fight seen. There was a moment where the entire audience was on the brim of screaming "ring the alarm," but that would have been mad cliched....and ghetto (but given the theatre we attended, ghetto would have been the proper decorum). The only disassociation I had with the film was Ali Larter's character...despite the fact she was crazy as hell...she was wearing some glorious designer wear. I'm not hating, but we wondered how she was able to afford that on a Temp's salary. You know me, if you can get it...please show me how. SEE THE MOVIE!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine [Hugh Jackman]
There is no need for me to write this review. Hugh Jackman. X-Men. Hugh. Jackman! (I know I've said it once, but I had to say it, again). Hugh can do no wrong to me. I adored and recommend this movie. While it wasn't as action-packed, to me, as the other X-Men movies, it still captured you and kept your adrenaline pumping...not to mention heart racing and palms sweating when Hugh runs across the screen stark-naked!!!!! There was a brief moment where it felt as if something (possibly the connection with our other favorite X-Men warriors) was missing, but it the film did what a prequel should do...leave you wanting more. SEE THIS MOVIE. There's a little treat after the credits; it just leave you...

NOTE: After you see Wolverine, be prepared to go back and watch the other three X-Men movies.

Ride or Die

My life has officially become a hip-hop song. Ok, not really, but it has had its share of unappreciated and uncalled-for drama, recently, and when you consider the true nature of ultimatums, it's essentially the ride-or-die, do-or-else, my way or the highway mentality. So unfitting of me; tres not my style.

I've wondered why people issue ultimatums: to be controlling? insecurity? afraid of losing something? the inability to properly communicate their wants/needs/concerns? While I'm clueless to the answer, I also haven't spent a large amount of brain power being that concerned. I am not sure of the effectiveness of ultimatums; there's too much involved...is it a win-win, win-lose/lose-win, lose-lose situation. Talk about a bore and a headache! I typically don't do them because the few that I've received have been hilarious and not worth my time or energy to give them a thought. I mean, really...it's me. We all know, I'm all about and it's all about...me. I have no problem burning a bridge and blowing away the ashes. Again, m to the e.

Well, I'm growing.... Recently, I received an ultimatum...while ultimatums by nature tend to box people in and make them feel trapped (and as part of our animalistic nature, our natural response is to fight), I plan to take time to consider all sides. My options: 1) lose a friendship (which, from what I gathered, has some kind of date [like born-on or expiration] on it...not sure, I'll have to clarify that) or 2) forgo writing about a specific subject in some of my work/blog posts.

I'm billing this as the 'ultimate' battle: Friendship vs. Fanship! Who's gonna ride!?

While I think I may have my answer, already, someone bring me a scale (of justice?) and some marbles. I'm going to weigh this out!

Feel free to weigh in...

Power of Sex

SEX.

'nuff said. Not! We all know sex is a powerful thang. It can make you feel good, it can make you lose your mind, it can take you places you've never been, have you speaking fluently in a language you've never studied, and it can make you do things you never thought possible and won't remember afterwards. But can it be used as an effective weapon (political, personal, professional, or otherwise) to get you what you want? We've all seen it happen in the movies, but can it actually happen in my or your life? Personally, I don't see it happening in mine...and that's primarily because the majority of the people I come across in my daily life aren't remotely as attractive as those in the movies. Sad, disappointing, and depressing...yet, true.

It was reported that in Kenya, women are being asked to ban (I'm assuming withhold) sex in hopes of obtaining political reform. The catch for me is that the mentioned time frame for the sex ban is 7 days. Some say that's too much. I ask, is it enough? I don't think seven days is a lot in terms of sex. If we discuss air, water, food, and other vital essentials along those lines for seven days, we could be on to something. But, withholding sex for a week with hopes of making an actual change...is sex really powerful enough to bring about a political reform in a week? I mean, it's good (depending on the parties involved, their talents, and skill levels), but it is ever really that good?

If so, I may need to move to Kenya. And for those of you who are braggers...feel free to forward me your resume.

Age -- overrated

“21 with a few years’ experience.” Ask me how old I am; that’s the answer you get. It tells you two things: 1) I’m legal, and 2) my age is my business.

People, relax; age ain’t nothing but a thing--a small thing that allows people-who-are-bored-out-of-their-minds-and-need-to-get-a-life to make judgments and false assumptions. We are more than our age…let’s not forget personality, character, dignity, pride, self-respect, and sense of humor. These are just some of the factors that contribute to us being our own, unique individuals.

There was someone, a few years back, I was putting my game on; he gave me this line: I’m looking to get married, not adopt. It was cute. Insulting; yet, also complementing. He must have been born and raised in the south, or spent years working it. My thing was…he didn’t know me or anything about me; don’t let age be a determining factor. Especially when it comes to me, cause I will blow…your…mind. My babyface is another reason I give my “21 with a few years’ experience” standard. PEOPLE CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (I’m really 22…lol). You know I have to add this: He obviously couldn’t handle all that is me.

Age and looks…total BS! Some people look great for their age; some people look not-so-great for their age; some people look unbelievable regardless of their age; and some people look….well, I’m just going to leave that one alone. Even I stop at a certain level of meanness. I know people who are 42 and look 32; I know people who are 42 and look 62 (ok, I only know one who looks 62; the rest look 52); and then there’s me….fabulous at every age!

Stop worrying about your age and don’t even bother worrying about someone else’s; it makes absolutely no sense. Embrace yours, go for yours, and do you! As the quote states, “Be who you are…those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” That came from Dr. Seuss, so why is it that many adults STILL don’t understand, accept, and respect those words? Seriously, the only one who minds AND matters is Y.O.U.

Believe it! Live it! Be it!

EMBRACE.

Reflection

Dictionary.com defines "reflection" as: an image; representation; counterpart. So, yes, it's more than just a physical image of your looks in a glass/mirror.

An image, representation, and counterpart...all of which are true are largely forgotten about by most of the population when it comes to the people in our lives and how they reflect on who we are as individuals. We all know the company (friends) that we keep are a reflection on our character. In regards to family...since we don't get to choose, we are pretty much stuck with what we get; but some do reserve the right of selectivity.

[as i step onto my soapbox] Will someone please tell me why is it that when we choose our significant others (those we date and marry), the concept of them being a reflection (and really, an extension) of who we are just flies straight out the damn window? People, I really need you to realize this and think passed the physical. Yes, attractive is a requirement, but don't forget about the rest. Inquire and research their medical history, do a credit check, and run a background check...or three. If you don't, you are more than likely to run into some interesting (and often unpleasant) surprises. Granted, your friends may find them highly entertaining, but will then begin questioning you; which will probably be something along the lines of "What the hell are you thinking?"

Two brief situations where thoroughly investigations can come in handy:

1) If you're ever walking down a crowded, public city street and someone screams (yes, loudly; the kind that stops people in their tracks and have them turn towards the source) an inquiry about your ex that worked (and secretly still works?) for some escort/adult-oriented dot com...research comes in handy for this. It prepared you for what to expect...that way you can alert your friends and keep them in the know, so they won't be blown away. Y'all know my nerves can only take so much.

2) Once upon a time, there was this young, stylish, classy young lady who had this boyfriend; we could not figure out why they were together or what she saw in him. What really stumped us was how she was able to handle his foot odor? I'm not talking about a "wash between your toes and put some powder in your shoes odor." I'm talking throat-clenching, make you gag for three days straight, CHRONIC odor! This was open all the windows, take the doors off the hinges, remove the roof, and it's still going to resonate for 30 minutes. There were those who said she was used to it. AIN' NO WAY! He wasn't used to it and they were his feet; his odor. Some have said she was addickted. I'm sorry, but there is none that good; trust me. I know some of you are wondering how I know. Trust me...it was bad. Read between the lines. We couldn't handle it in a public setting, so we couldn't figure out how she could handle it in a private/intimate setting. That was a reflection on her; and not a good reflection.

I'm not trying to judge people; I'm just trying to help people judge the people they let enter their lives. Believe me when I say .... it's all about image; IMAGE IS EVERYTHING! So, take a look in the mirror...look at yourself and everyone in your life.

It's Official...

I'm a Carrie! People have been saying and hinting at it for a while, but I took the Facebook quiz, and well...the results speak for them self:

If I were on Sex And The City, I'd Be Carrie Bradshaw.
It went on to say: You love the idea of love and always search for it but aren't really sure it exists. You're smart, funny and free-spirited. Above all, you have style.

Now, tell me, who am I to disagree with that raving description; especially that last part? As far as love goes; I'm sure it exists...for others. Not quite sure it exists for me. Like Carrie, I've fallen in and out of love (and hence on my face) with the same person so many times it's sad and frightening. I'm seriously considering having a reconstructive heart surgeon and plastic surgeon on call at all times. Now that I'm stepping to a new beat and headed in a better direction, I may want a new look to go with my new attitude.

The writing still continues...

The friends. I have the clique; just have to get them SATC identities. Charlotte has been "officially" identified (again, according to the Facebook application). Now, I need to get the other two friends to take the quiz; one of them is definitely Miranda; the other...well, is more Samantha, but can definitely hold down both Samantha and Miranda. Hmmm...a Sex And The City dual? We shall see!

Until then...Cosmopolitan Wishes!

Confession of a Faller

There's a song that, essentially, states...
in a world where dreams are few...love can sometimes wear you out...chill your soul...make you doubt...that you'll never find the one that's true*

Taken a bit further...love can also make you scream, make you shout, and have you jumping around and shaking all about. That's the bottom; it ain't cute. I've been there...now I'm working my way back to the top.

I confess...I'm a fool for love; cause I keep falling. The higher I have to physically look up, well...you get the picture. But I'm reformed, now; I think.

I know we can fall in various areas of our life. I live everyday trying to keep from falling, but I admit that I have stumbled a few times and on a few occasions I have actually fallen in love. Exactly, two times too many. Foolishly and inexplicably, I have spent most of the past year and a half of my life loving someone whom it seemed stopped caring (notice I said caring; that's because he never made it to loving) me around Week 2. Ask me how I could love him all this time knowing how he felt and how he currently feels about me, and I can give you many different answers...all of which would probably only make sense to me.

There were many moments where I consciously knew it was time for me to let go, let flow, and do me; yet, I stayed around foolishly hoping and wanting for something that would never come to fruition. Well, I finally hit rock bottom. It came in the form of an electronic slap (aka...email) that informed me that he had allowed his ex (the same ex he was in love with while he was dating me; the same ex a few months ago it was paining him to be in love with; the same ex....well, I could go on for a while....) to move in with him, again. That was yesterday.

This is today; I'm a fool no more! My journey to a higher elevation has begun. I've set my boundaries and picked up my pieces; I'm moving on.

Leaving the baggage and emotions behind No more wasting my time On something that will never be mine Got a good momentum goin', and I'm not gon' stop Taking me from rock bottom all the way to the top

I'm not sure if it's gravity, but I already feel lighter; like a burden has been lifted or the hag has been thrown off my back. Maybe it's the new air that's lifting my wings. Either way, I'll fly like an angel and aspire to be like Maya...
"I rise. I rise. I rise."

Y'ALL BETTER WATCH OUT, NOW!

*Not the exact lyrics, but the song is "I Belong To You." Words and music by Derek Bramble and Franne Golde. From the Whitney Houston album, I'm Your Baby Tonight.

Touched...And Not By An Angel: Reasons Why I'm Single

"Touched...and not by an angel" is a little, special saying I like to use to describe people I come across in my life who are one, more, or all of the following: special, dropped as a child, 10 eggs short of a dozen, crazy as hell, done lost their damn mind, or "I don't know what it is, but something just ain't right." There was a time in my life where I ran across a few of these people on a daily basis. I don't encounter them as frequently, anymore...and that could be a good thing.

The bad part; when I run across them now, it tends to be in personal (i.e., dating) situations. To the naysayers, I'm not male-bashing because: 1) I'm male and 2) the things I am about to say are the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth---with my own special flair. You may remember most or all of these, but here's a recap and entertaining reasons why one would subscribe to their 'issues':

*Mr. Take My Advice. Age 30-something (now, who the hell cares?). Reason to subscribe: Big on giving unsolicited (and thus unappreciated) advice, even to people he barely knew and for situations he wasn't well informed about. Funny thing is, he couldn't seem to guide is own life. His words, "My advice doesn't work for myself, only for others." My advice to him: COME OUT OF THE CLOSET. I hate to say this about my gay brethren, but he was rather obvious. I mean, honey-chile was a spark short of being a blaze. On FI-YAH!

*The Playwright. Age 49 (now, 52). Reason to subscribe: He was a waiter for a catering company but considered himself a playwright because he wrote a skit (and yes, I did say SKIT and not PLAY) for his family when he was.....12. Also, I don't mind people being into the 'natural body odor' thing, but I still need you to bathe on a daily basis. It's just uncouth; like fake hair...it ain't natural.

*Mr. Too Damn Grown for That. Age 29 (now 32). Reason to subscribe: Freaks out in groups of 3 (including himself) or more, at times above and beyond annoying, and poor social skills. On the flip-side, he's warm, caring, and friendly--if you can get passed the M&M candy-coated shell he's put up around himself. Nevertheless, if you're 6'5"and over 200lbs, I'm going to need you to not act like a 2 year old when we go out in public...especially if I happen to take you to the Louis Vuitton (love me some LV) store with me. I don't do embarrassing moments! Respect that. Remember that. And don't forget that.

*Monsieur Poland Springs. Age 35. Reason to subscribe: NONE. Skip this publication. Who complains about bottled water? More specifically, the individual bottles of water versus the gallon size; yet despises the in-home water coolers. Crazy as hell!

*Mr. Racial Fetishist. Age, I have no idea...30s, 40s? Never dated this freak, just someone life through in my path. See the January 2009 post "A New Kink?" for the full story.

*The Lads of the "I Love You But I'm Not In-Love With You" Society. Age, various. Reasons to subscribe: Puns and other plays on words, good to laugh with and laugh at. Apparently, this is the one-line in every guy's repertoire; yet, many don't seem to know the meaning of the words: exclusive, honest, loyal, committed, agreement. Sadly, words they tend to use on a frequent basis. Warning: they appear to be decent guys (and have great, appealing tendencies and qualities) and are generally fun to be around. Friendships are better than relationships with these "members-only" jacket wearing brethren.
*Just Plain Crazy. Age, 39 (now, early 40s). Reason to subscribe: Never a dull moment. It was always surprising to see whom I would be going out with: Mr. I'm Always Right Yet Always Wrong, the one who apparently did the voice-over for Alvin & The Chipmunks, or the Interior Decorator of all NYC spaces. Had a recent encounter with this Bag-o-Fun; I think there's now a new personality...Mr. Calm and Tranquil (on the outside), but probably better suited as My Shrink Wrote Me A Prescription. Valium, anyone?

*Mr. Dessert For Dinner. Age 47 (now, not sure. He's been 47 for a few years). Reason to subscribe: He has lost his damn mind. He thought I was about to give him my freshly-baked cookies cause he bought me dinner from Chipotle and ice cream from Ben & Jerry's; totaling about $14. Absof***inglutely not!!! He obviously had me twisted and confused with someone else.

As you can tell, I've been around the Crazy As Hell Funny Farm; and this isn't all...just the most entertaining. Ironically, one of the above was joking with me and said a similar "Touched..." phrase. It's mean, yet wickedly funny. He said if it wasn't an angel who touched them, perhaps it was an uncle. CRUEL; but I like it. Sadly, he may have been revealing something about himself. I was passed the point of caring about him, so....I left.

The new 'Vitamin D' -- Penis Power

We all know the penis has a controlling mind of its own; it’s caused a lot of men (and some women) to do things that range from ‘crazy as all hell’ to ‘down-right stupid.’ The penis has also been known to start fights (so fiery they are worthy of being called a wars), destroy homes, and choke people.

The source of the power of the penis is unknown and mysterious, but in numerous occasions has led to obsession, addiction (or rather, addicktion), and other changed in physical and mental behavior; especially when contact with the source is experienced in regular, repeating patterns. With that said, it takes a certain type of stable individual with strong emotional, physical, and mental health to compete with the power of the penis.

Penis (consumed, ingested, exposed to) on a regular basis has been hailed as “life-changing.” It, supposedly, increases your energy level, helps you concentrate and focus, helps improve time management and organization, and encourages you to enjoy the smaller things in life. (Why does it sound like a new form of crack or some wonder drug that people have been seeking for years???)

Now, don’t get me wrong…I am truly me being me, so you know I’ve sat and contemplated this. I honestly, don’t get it. Considering the fact that I have a penis, I must need another one because as far as I can tell, I (i.e., me using the brain in my head) am the only source controlling my life and behaviors and am experiencing none of the above mentioned results.

I’ve been around others whom I would say could have possibly been (and may still be) under the influence of penis, and well…it’s not cute! The side effects and attachments that usually come along with penis, one could mostly do without: drama, craziness, dizziness, stress, hypertension, aggravated nerves, and stupidity…among other things.

If “Penis Power” could be controlled, FDA-approved, and available over-the-counter or via prescription by someone like Dr. Phil or Dr. Ruth…we could be on to something.
Then, again, knowing the history our society has with abuse and the role of the penis…is the world really ready for more than a handful?

Carrie Bradshaw and Me

Love, labels, the love of labels, and a walk-in closet the size of Chelsea. We all have our reasons for living and dreaming in New York City. Coincidentally...or because of great taste...my main reasons happen to resemble those of Carrie Bradshaw--the fictional fashionista and columnist we've all come to know and love thanks to Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex and the City--does that give people the right to want to adorn me with the "I'm a Carrie" tee or title?

Granted, our interests and characteristics to run somewhat deeper...
In addition to our core of friends--I, too, have my Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha (as a matter of fact, I have 2 or 3 Samanthas)--we're both fashion conscience and forward, old-fashioned with a modern twist, and deep romantics at heart. For me, when I say deep romantic, I mean I have values I won't sacrifice and standards that I refuse to lower. Call me a diva and say my standards for love are unrealistic if you want, but I will see stars and sparkles, hear bells and whistles, and be engulfed by twinkling lights, hearts stopping, and bombs bursting in air. When it happens, don't be jealous...Carrie found her Big, I'll find mine, too. I've been to the point where "I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty." (That might have been last weekend, but that's another story.) Please note--and don't forget or misinterpret--this doesn't mean I'm after the ring or the long white train. I've already said...it's all about the walk-in closet, labels, and 100xx ZIP code.

Throughout all of this, I do believe many compare Carrie and I for our personalities and our love and style of writing -- the way we share our musings on life, relationships, New York City, and anything else that needs to be addressed (ok, that may be all mine; we have to have our differences somewhere); but, let's not get 'carrie-d' away. All of this doesn't mean I have an inner Caroline Marie Bradshaw. Does it?

Bobby Brown Bailout

You know, if this stuff is true, Bobby Brown just needs to forget about singing and do a movie based on his life. Someone couldn't even begin to imagine some of the stuff he's supposedly gone through in his life in order to write about it. Hence one of the reasons Being Bobby Brown was such a success.

Recently, it was reported that there's a new tell-all book that mentions how back in 1993, my #1 superstar Whitney "diva-originale" Houston, allegedly paid $400,000 in ransom money to a gang that had kidnapped then-husband-and-love-of-her-life Bobby. Supposedly, Bobby didn't pay a dealer $25,000 for some cocaine he had acquired. Another report said that Bobby was naked and hog-tied at the gang's hideout.

Trying to add some clarification on this; from what I gather, it was a transfer of debt (so to speak): It seems as if the gang paid off the $25,000 debt to the dealer, then kidnapped Bobby, and held him for ransom.

I have no idea is this (any or all) is true or not. You know how much I adore me some Whitney, so if he paid I'm not necessarily mad at her. Trust me when I say this, I know that when we're in love with someone we can do some crazy things....but $400,000 is A LOT of moo-lah! Would it not have been cheaper to pay the $25,000 and possibly another $25,000 for a new flow and let them keep Bobby???? Do you have any idea what I could do with 400k? I'm talking Louis Vuitton shopping spree, obtaining that Dolce & Gabbana overcoat I've been drooling over, paying off student loans, getting a Wii, AND getting the Wii-Fit to go with it.

To those of you I love dearly and those of who you think I love you...do not get kidnapped and be held for ransom. If you do, don't be surprised or alarmed if I send you a care package with a note along the lines of "It's been nice, but...." he he he SMOOCHES!

*Please note that I do not condone, encourage, or participate in the usage of illegal drugs/substances.

A Thin Line Between Networking and Stalking

Friendster. Myspace. LinkedIn. Facebook. Twitter. The next networking community that's yet to be announced. It's online networking the new way of living?

It's frightening! From dating to stalking...people are doing everything online; and I do mean everything. People are telling their business (whereabouts, private thoughts, random thoughts of which no one else really cares about), having affairs, and doing other things online they wouldn't normally do in everyday life. While I'm waiting on someone to get caught by their own actions and self-release of information, I'm completely surprised by how people are finding the time to do it all. It's exhausting and time consuming--even for someone like me. For those who do the w.o.r.k. thing or have k-i-d-s; I'm impressed. Having to update profiles, upload pictures, comment on the pictures of other's, feeling the need to write on someone's "wall," sending out a "tweet" update, or remembering to Myspace or Facebook the person you met at the bar last night and may want to go out with next week (or ignore for eternity)...time consuming! I dont get it.

I'm curious as to when this networking convenience is going to come back and haunt someone. We all know that most people aren't good at judging their behavior or the appropriateness of things they say...especially at the crucial times when a filter is highly recommended and could be of substantial use. These networking sites update in realtime and some of them are capable of being linked (i.e., you can link your Twitter account to your blog); people nonchalantly post where and when they are going to be places. I would write more into this, but I'm sure you can connect the dots. I'm waiting on CNN to announce a story with some "networking turned stalking" headline. Cause I'm sure someone is going to Myspace someone when they should have called, texted, or Facebooked them; then the other person is going to be pissed and write something all on their wall -- their bed/bathroom wall (not Facebook wall), in red lipstick. Afterwards, they'll be standing outside in the rain looking through restaurant window where the other person's Twitter account said they'd be having dinner with their significant other.

I cannot! But, also...I can't wait, either.

Movie Review: Duplicity / I Love You, Man

DUPLICITY (Clive Owen, Julia Roberts)

Skip it. It drags at times, it's predictable, and it has Paul Giamatti. I went with a friend and a fan to see this movie; we were finished discussing it by the time we walked out of the cinema's lobby doors. We had brunch together and didn't feel the need to mention the film...at all. The stars are the high points of the movie. Clive Owen is simply delicious and Julia Roberts is as charming, as always...sometimes you just want to give her a hug.

I LOVE YOU, MAN (Paul Rudd)

Fun-nay! I haven't laughed so hard since Madea did something, I'm sure. The chemistry among the actors come across with ease, the dialogue is on-point comedy, and the film is an all-around feel-good movie. Paul Rudd has always been an immense talent; I'm glad his star is finally starting to shine. Andy Samberg portrays Robbie, Paul's brother in the film, and is just "oooooooh cute." Makes me want to get an Equinox Fitness gym membership. See this movie: in theaters, on dvd...see it in theaters and buy it on dvd...I don't care...just make sure you see it.