Wanting to Exhale

Is It Natural or Dependent Upon Something?

Is ‘waiting to exhale’ the same as ‘wanting to exhale’ or is one a part of the other? I’m sure you understand what I’m talking about: having the strong need to feel the state of peace and relaxation we experience after having a good, strong, and deep sigh of relief. Reaching the point to exhale is not always about having a “person of interest” in our lives, but for most of us, it is – so we’ll stick with that.

I’ve adapted Savannah’s opening statements from Waiting to Exhale (the movie) to help get my point across: I asked God to send me a descent man (and I wrote a poem about it; “All I Want For Christmas). Between then and now: Keith, Shawn, Renzo, a slew of David’s, and a few names I can’t remember—which is probably a good thing—have appeared. I’m aware that God works in mysterious ways, but some serious explaining needs to be done. My next request (to go along with the poem) had a little more detail: could he be cute, tall, have his senses (common, self, humor, respect, taste), class and style, and if he’s going to be 50 could he have a career (have had a career, or at least a real job). Please note: Calling yourself a playwright when you’re 49 because you wrote a play (which was probably a skit) for your family when you were 12 is HIGHLY unacceptable.

This is the point I’ve reached; it’s not even scary, it’s frightening and sad. I know it’s not the point to exhale, but I’m tired of waiting…I’m wanting! It’s time to get my second wind, breathe again, and move on to something else. Who knows, perhaps I can do some shooping along the way!

Who Are You Wearing?

Michelle Obama: As Seen In...and On

Michelle…love me some her! Her clothes…J.Crew, White House/Black Market; I mean, really? I understand what she was trying to do and the point she was trying to make considering the controversy surrounding a certain someone’s $150,000 clothing. I agree, that is expensive; especially if the clothing isn’t cute. But J.Crew??? I’m sure Michelle can do better than that. I can afford J. Crew and I’m positive her salary is higher than mine.

I know it was all a political game, but what’s wrong with wearing designer wear—donated or gifted? I’m not one for borrowing anyone’s clothing, but if it’s borrowed directly from the designer’s showroom/studio—I’m not judging or hating. Now, if anyone wants to donate or gift me some designer (not J.Crew) attire, please let me know; my closet door is wide open.—I’m making room for the raid I’m planning to execute on the J.Crew Sample Sale. [devilish grin]

A New Kink?

A Thin Line Between Favored and Fetish


Favored: regarded or treated with preference or partiality; to indulge a liking for [dictionary.com]. We all have preferences and things we favor: fried/hardboiled, sparkling/flat, retail/wholesale, first class/whatever else is behind the curtain where the common people sit; modern/classic. To an extreme, a preference can become a fetish…and we all know what that entails. If you don’t, well…that’s another newsletter.

In the meantime, you need to figure it out and let me introduce you to something not many are aware of…Racial Fetishism. It’s really what the name says – when your preference for members of a particular race/s crosses the proverbial ‘thin’ line into fetish-country (passport required?). Questions existing: Are you ashamed of your attraction to members of a race? Feel guilty about it? Would you like others to know about it? Would you say something racially offensive to someone during an intimate moment (i.e., sex)? It happens. Yes, it does (so I’ve been told…let’s get that straight before it’s even asked). If so, we may have a problem. I believe one should be attracted to/interested in another for whom they are and not the color of their skin. I won’t call this a new phenomenon, but its prevalence is increasing. Horror story: This one Unattractive was tempted by my sexiness…or so I thought. We met in a public place (safety first); despite the fact we’ve known each other for a while—you never know when someone will act-a-fool. It started with his asking me to accompany him to the restroom. Can you say “absolutely not”! Talk about being too grown for someone to hold your hand or keep you company while you handle your business. Next, we’re walking down the street and he’s calling out random names of DINERS and other I-don’t-think-so establishments! (Yes, I know…WTF!?) It gets better…he then mentions The Sheraton (as in hotel). Who would do The Sheraton in NYC…and why? I didn’t even know they had a restaurant. They probably don’t; Clown Boy was more interested in their restroom. He obviously had me confused with someone else—I’m classy. I barely do public restrooms for their intended purposes; so forget about that other stuff…OH HELL TO THE NO! Then, he starts “talking dirty” which was more along the lines of ridiculous and offensive – a prime moment to beat a jerk and walk away.

This incident plagued me for a few minutes; I wasn’t sure if I should be offended because he thought I would partake in classless, trashy, public restroom activities of the extracurricular nature or from his only being interested in me for my skin color or both.

If you’re ever involved in an involuntary fetish situation, please be careful. While they can be humorous (in retrospect), these situations can also violent and abusive—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Sex and NYC

Picture it:
Manhattan 2009...

Sex is free, yet prostitution is making a comeback. Commitments are priceless; yet no one wants one. Mastercard isn’t what it used to be, and AMEX Black is no longer plastic. In a society of short attention spans and iPods, the decision to get to know someone on a deeper level is made in less than 29 seconds, and “something better will come along” is the norm mentality….is Love On Lay-A-Way the new trend? Is this just an NYC thing? Or have people actually lost their damn minds?

There are those who enjoy being single because they are good at it (I don’t understand that logic, either, but I’ve jumped to my own conclusion—essentially, it’s the new PC/don’t-wanna-label-myself-way of saying “playa”); those who don’t have the time because they are focusing on their career (is it just me or is time management a key element to success?); and those who want the benefits of love, but not the work involved with it. Ironically, these are primarily the ones who scour through the throngs of those just like them who offer easy, readily available, no-strings-attached satisfaction that may be accompanied by other unwanted, embarrassing, and contagious gifts. Among this group are those offering to make “donations” for sex and those “actively seeking” contributions and contributors--both ends of this spectrum contain a high number of financial services people…FYI.

What happened to the days of dating, romance, and arranged marriages; the days when people believed in love and took a chance on getting to know someone? You know, the days when bootycalls had standards. Now, it’s “you’re free, I’m free…let’s have some fun and I may ask you your name later.”

I know people say I have high standards and am bourgeois. I say…I deserve and demand the best. Louis Vuitton and Barneys are open to the public, but that doesn’t mean everyone should shop there. If you’re still lost, let me put it to you this way: the milk is free once you buy the cow…and you get burgers and steak at no extra cost.