WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN??? "Let's be friends" ... and is it followed by a question mark or a period? One can never tell. Personally, I wish people would forget the games and passiveness and just say what is on their minds. It's 2011 for crying out loud; can we all please man-up and get it together? Geesh.
Let's. Be. Friends. Those three words that are intended to imply that romantic interest is not present; at least, not for the party speaking the words. We all should be adults about our grown-up situations and take the bull by the horns; just let it be known that the present situation (whatever it may be) isn't working and each party should go their ways. Spare the friendship -ish, because you know you don't want to be friends, anyway; it's just not going to happen. Besides, have you ever asked one of your true friends if the two of you could be friends? (Pause...let that one marinate and percolate.) I didn't think so. That would be real strange, right? Someone you would designate as crazy and run as far and as fast away from as you possibly could. Remember this the next time you hear someone (special?) say, "Let's be friends." Run like the wind; they don't want to be friends and they don't know how to be friends.
I confess; I have heard the words before. So, I spoke from experience when I said "they don't actually want to be friends" and "they don't know how to be a friend." Yes, I have wasted a few valuable moments of my life on "friends" I should not have; which is why I am sharing this with you...ok, more like warning you. Don't make me have to come back and say "I told you so." You know I'll do it; nicely [grin], but I'll do it.
Now, the dispenser of these words is likely to be an intimate cohort. If the intimate situation isn't working out; the chances of a real friendship working out aren't that attractive, either. I think it's one thing if you're friends first, evolve into some sort of romantic situation, and then you realize the fire isn't there so you downgrade and return to being friends. That, could work...riiiiight? Better chance there a starting out higher (more than platonic) and downgrading. If you can't handle the original position you applied for; this company may not be for you. Go forward; not backwards.
Deborah Cox and R. L. sang about a similar situation in one of my favorite songs, "We Can't Be Friends." Deborah did her thang and kept it simple and to-the-point: "We can't be friends." She fell a little short, as she was still in love with her former Boo, but I give her props for taking charge and handling the situation. Hold up your hand, stop the presses, and put yourself first; spare yourself the drama and the pain.
With this video in mind, Deborah and I are pretty much alike...aside from the fact she can sing and I; well, I can entertain. The next time someone gives you these few words, stand up and tell them like it is Get missing! Keep it moving! And don't come back.
"Let's be friends" {question mark}
"Oh, hell to the no" {period; full stop}
Yours Truly
- Syieve Locklair
- New York, NY, United States
- I'm your everyday, quintessential, slightly above average [pseudo] celebrity/poet/author/executive and personal assistant /voice actor who's talented, creative, charming, some-what funny individual who is indescribable in words. In short, I'm the person you never thought existed until you know me in your own special way.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Facebook: From Social Network to Social Activist?
Facebook never ceases to amaze; from social network to advertising platform to celebrity fan club to....social activism? When minor things (even simple developments and improvements) make me smile; you know something is up or I've twisted something in some sick way. But, Honey-Chile, a few days ago...Monsieur Facebook touched my spirit and warmed my soul.
Now, thanks to Facebook's new relationship status options (which according to USA Today, gay users give tremendous applause -- I guess you have to be in that particular subset. I'm in a subset of my own celebrating for another reason.); not only do we get to see when people are dumped publicly (as we discussed in "Break-Ups"), but we also get to see how people reclassify their personal situations when selecting a new relationship status: "in a domestic partnership," "in a civil union," and so on. But, you know me, I can't wait to see who goes from being involved in something to being "single" and who moves from being in something to "it's complicated" -- a personal favorite. Perhaps I should go from "single" to "it's complicated"? Cause, as most of us single-folk know...at times, it can be all-out rough and unattractive.
On a deeper note, I sincerely hope this latest move/improvement by Facebook encourages folks to take an honest look at their lives and their 'relationships,' to see (and define) what they really have in their possession. Evaluate! I know of many who are involved in situations they should not be; those who are settling for something far lesser than what they want and deserve; and those who are holding on to something that truly amounts to absolutely nothing. Stop wasting your time, stop wasting your energy; stop wasting your life.
This is especially dedicated to all of my lovelies who are caught-up in some scenario that has influenced them to have their relationship status as "it's complicated." I ask you two things:
For all the haters; yes, I know...I am single. Partly because I refuse to settle and partly because I will not be in a complicated situation that holds no value and is complicated for no reason.
I know my own worth.
Now, thanks to Facebook's new relationship status options (which according to USA Today, gay users give tremendous applause -- I guess you have to be in that particular subset. I'm in a subset of my own celebrating for another reason.); not only do we get to see when people are dumped publicly (as we discussed in "Break-Ups"), but we also get to see how people reclassify their personal situations when selecting a new relationship status: "in a domestic partnership," "in a civil union," and so on. But, you know me, I can't wait to see who goes from being involved in something to being "single" and who moves from being in something to "it's complicated" -- a personal favorite. Perhaps I should go from "single" to "it's complicated"? Cause, as most of us single-folk know...at times, it can be all-out rough and unattractive.
On a deeper note, I sincerely hope this latest move/improvement by Facebook encourages folks to take an honest look at their lives and their 'relationships,' to see (and define) what they really have in their possession. Evaluate! I know of many who are involved in situations they should not be; those who are settling for something far lesser than what they want and deserve; and those who are holding on to something that truly amounts to absolutely nothing. Stop wasting your time, stop wasting your energy; stop wasting your life.
This is especially dedicated to all of my lovelies who are caught-up in some scenario that has influenced them to have their relationship status as "it's complicated." I ask you two things:
- Why is it complicated?
- Why in 2011 on this green Earth are you still in that complicated situation?
For all the haters; yes, I know...I am single. Partly because I refuse to settle and partly because I will not be in a complicated situation that holds no value and is complicated for no reason.
I know my own worth.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Break-Ups: Things of the Past?
All good things must come to an end; true. This happens most with our relationships; personal relationships tend to end in crueler ways than professional relationships. Based upon how severely the ending of personal relationships can affect us, many never realize that how we separate ourselves from our relationships is key. Depending upon how the process is executed, it can make one wonder if it was ever actually good to start off with.
Breaking-up is hard to do...according to that old saying...but apparently it's not. People do it all the time: packing up and moving out while the "old ball and chain" is away from home, disappearing and ceasing communication, and the latest trend...updating the Facebook relationship status to "single" (alerting your friends before informing your partner). Prime examples that far too many people are stupid as hell and have lost their damn minds! Who does stuff like this? RAISE YOUR HAND! Who dates people like this? STAND UP! Who knows people like this? SHOUT! (I hope you can hear me cause I'm yelling like a banchee!) Where do we find these people? Can we please quarantine, keep them there, and forget about them? They can have each other! I know you're saying that's mean and cruel {Personally, I don't see a problem.}, but just imagine...world peace and harmony. {smile}
But, seriously, The Break-up...what happened it to? We're now in a world of "I just want to be friends," "we can use some space," "I'm seeing someone else," and "'Facebook User123abc' has changed their relationship status to 'single'" ... all via text, email, or the internet. WTH! I mean, seriously? Seriously! We have lost it as a people. We need to get it together, do better, and get right! As for the simpletons who aren't respectful enough to even communicate a break-up; as in, they disappear, ignore their [former] partner, or offer lame communication to the point where you get fed up and leave them to stew in their stupidity; they just need to be dipped in tar, feathered, and blessed by a higher deity...or poked and prodded by the lowest evil.
I know breaking-up is an Art and many lack talent, but can we at least exhibit some decency and tact? I know your mother taught you better than that. If you're bold enough to become romantically and/or intimately involved (yes, I did the and/or because you know some of you will admit to one and not the other {eye roll}) with someone, you should have the balls (or boobs) to sit down (face-to-face) with them and explain/discuss the break-up; at the very least inform them that the relationship is thereby dissolved.
A true and admirable break-up should be executed respectfully; with grace and tact. You need to convince your former Love to let you walk out the door on your own two feet, instead of stabbing you and having the authorities remove your remains in a body bag. I'm just saying...you do them right and they'll do you right (or do you in, but that's a chance one takes). Aim for that friendship clause; where you agree to be "friends" both knowing you truly never want to see, hear from, or think about the other again.
Just remember these two things:
Breaking-up is hard to do...according to that old saying...but apparently it's not. People do it all the time: packing up and moving out while the "old ball and chain" is away from home, disappearing and ceasing communication, and the latest trend...updating the Facebook relationship status to "single" (alerting your friends before informing your partner). Prime examples that far too many people are stupid as hell and have lost their damn minds! Who does stuff like this? RAISE YOUR HAND! Who dates people like this? STAND UP! Who knows people like this? SHOUT! (I hope you can hear me cause I'm yelling like a banchee!) Where do we find these people? Can we please quarantine, keep them there, and forget about them? They can have each other! I know you're saying that's mean and cruel {Personally, I don't see a problem.}, but just imagine...world peace and harmony. {smile}
But, seriously, The Break-up...what happened it to? We're now in a world of "I just want to be friends," "we can use some space," "I'm seeing someone else," and "'Facebook User123abc' has changed their relationship status to 'single'" ... all via text, email, or the internet. WTH! I mean, seriously? Seriously! We have lost it as a people. We need to get it together, do better, and get right! As for the simpletons who aren't respectful enough to even communicate a break-up; as in, they disappear, ignore their [former] partner, or offer lame communication to the point where you get fed up and leave them to stew in their stupidity; they just need to be dipped in tar, feathered, and blessed by a higher deity...or poked and prodded by the lowest evil.
I know breaking-up is an Art and many lack talent, but can we at least exhibit some decency and tact? I know your mother taught you better than that. If you're bold enough to become romantically and/or intimately involved (yes, I did the and/or because you know some of you will admit to one and not the other {eye roll}) with someone, you should have the balls (or boobs) to sit down (face-to-face) with them and explain/discuss the break-up; at the very least inform them that the relationship is thereby dissolved.
A true and admirable break-up should be executed respectfully; with grace and tact. You need to convince your former Love to let you walk out the door on your own two feet, instead of stabbing you and having the authorities remove your remains in a body bag. I'm just saying...you do them right and they'll do you right (or do you in, but that's a chance one takes). Aim for that friendship clause; where you agree to be "friends" both knowing you truly never want to see, hear from, or think about the other again.
Just remember these two things:
- Karma is the Queen B!#$h!
- This only applies to civilized unions; if you have one of those violent, abusive, crazy, Ike and Tina Turner type relationships...do what you have to do and get the hell up out of there.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Prerequisite for a Second Date
A good vibe? Sparks? A full set of [uncapped] teeth? Making it through dinner without describing their Top 10 Allergy triggers or crying three times over their former significant other? Sexual tension that makes you want to burst...or slap somebody? Securing the practically unattainable and rare second date; nice work if you can get it...and if you got it; dish the dirt! What did you do (or didn't do) to get it?
According to recent conversations and discussions I've had regarding the dating game, it seems as if spreading your legs, touching your toes, and the ability to have an orgasm without becoming entangled in a sticky situation are prerequisites and required qualifications for a second date. Or, as I like to call it "another chance to shag you before I ignore your calls, block your texts, and pretend like I've never seen you before in my life."
Whatever happened to the good old days of sex before marriage but after the fourth date; knowing someone's name before knowing their underwear cut and color? Where are they hiding and how did we lose them?
Again, I blame technology for the lack of grace and decline in people's social skills; especially when it comes to dating and human interaction. Brain cells are deteriorating and people are losing their damn minds and ability for intelligent interaction and conversation, by hiding behind computers and other electronic devices. Online dating and electronic devices are great distractions and adult babysitters, but they are also hazardous to your social, mental, and emotional health. (I may have just made up social health, but go with me.) They seem to increase the fear of rejection and commitment to astronomical levels; up the ladder and through the roof.
Long gone are the days of pleasant and fun conversation, laughing at jokes, discovering mutual interests outside of leather, S&M, and water sports (and I absolutely DO NOT mean jet skiing or snorkeling). Looking into someone's eyes and longing to do it again, enjoying the scent of someone so much it etches a thought of them into your brain, and wanting to truly get to know someone for whom they are and what they represent are now ancient and no longer second date determiners. Kissing [French; as in, with tongue] is required; 'dropping it like it hot' and 'putting your back into it' are not frowned upon and often, over zealously, encouraged.
While the second date is practically impossible to get; unless you give a little to get a little....I won't even mention the third date. If you can get that far (even with sex), I would expect a ring to be presented before dessert.
As always, while they may have their prerequisites; you have and keep your standards -- held high. If their prerequisites are lame; they don't deserve you. Keep it wrapped. Keep it fresh. Keep it moving!
According to recent conversations and discussions I've had regarding the dating game, it seems as if spreading your legs, touching your toes, and the ability to have an orgasm without becoming entangled in a sticky situation are prerequisites and required qualifications for a second date. Or, as I like to call it "another chance to shag you before I ignore your calls, block your texts, and pretend like I've never seen you before in my life."
Whatever happened to the good old days of sex before marriage but after the fourth date; knowing someone's name before knowing their underwear cut and color? Where are they hiding and how did we lose them?
Again, I blame technology for the lack of grace and decline in people's social skills; especially when it comes to dating and human interaction. Brain cells are deteriorating and people are losing their damn minds and ability for intelligent interaction and conversation, by hiding behind computers and other electronic devices. Online dating and electronic devices are great distractions and adult babysitters, but they are also hazardous to your social, mental, and emotional health. (I may have just made up social health, but go with me.) They seem to increase the fear of rejection and commitment to astronomical levels; up the ladder and through the roof.
Long gone are the days of pleasant and fun conversation, laughing at jokes, discovering mutual interests outside of leather, S&M, and water sports (and I absolutely DO NOT mean jet skiing or snorkeling). Looking into someone's eyes and longing to do it again, enjoying the scent of someone so much it etches a thought of them into your brain, and wanting to truly get to know someone for whom they are and what they represent are now ancient and no longer second date determiners. Kissing [French; as in, with tongue] is required; 'dropping it like it hot' and 'putting your back into it' are not frowned upon and often, over zealously, encouraged.
While the second date is practically impossible to get; unless you give a little to get a little....I won't even mention the third date. If you can get that far (even with sex), I would expect a ring to be presented before dessert.
As always, while they may have their prerequisites; you have and keep your standards -- held high. If their prerequisites are lame; they don't deserve you. Keep it wrapped. Keep it fresh. Keep it moving!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
SERENITY NOW!
Yes, I was having one of those days and moments. Needed some motivation, encouragement, and break away from the Crazies. Pillar of strength.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Whom Not to Forget on Valentine's Day
Flowers ordered. Candy purchased. Card selected and signed. Private jet secured. Dinner reservation booked (with a note specifying exact table). Paris hotel booked (presidential suite, of course).
Now...relax, relate, and release; BREATHE! You're done with, either: making sure everything is perfect for your Boo (or in some cases, your Boo-Squared), stalking someone because they know they should be your Boo (but just haven't figured it out, yet), or trying to make sure the one you've been spending a lot of time with doesn't forget about you on 2/14. Anyway, your nerves are probably shot to pieces and you're exhausted as all hell...and still managed to overlook the one (VIP) you should remember on VDay; me! Not me, as in ME (well, it's very kind and thoughtful if you do think of me send me something...no flowers, please; but I do accept orchids (all colors)), but 'me' as in You; yourself.
Boo'd-up or not, Valentine's Day is definitely a day for self-love (I don't mean in that way, but if it works; hey...do you!). Many go out of their way to make sure the day is perfect for their Valentine, but forget about themselves in the process. It's a day to appreciate yourself, as well. Take some time do something nice for yourself: mani/pedi, facial, massage, purchase something you've been wanting to to get, read to a group of children, volunteer, do a staycation or one-day getaway, partake in something you've been longing to experience; do what you enjoy to do...something you will look back on and it will make you smile (inside and out) and feel good all over.
Thinking about your lover on Valentine' Day, their happiness, and the love (or that love-like thing) the two of you share is wonderful, but we know whose happiness and satisfaction really matters, right?
If you're single; hell, live it up! Don't let it hold you down. Embrace it, claim it, rock with it. Have a Me Day!
All of you: Value yourself. Treasure yourself. LOVE YOURSELF!
Now...relax, relate, and release; BREATHE! You're done with, either: making sure everything is perfect for your Boo (or in some cases, your Boo-Squared), stalking someone because they know they should be your Boo (but just haven't figured it out, yet), or trying to make sure the one you've been spending a lot of time with doesn't forget about you on 2/14. Anyway, your nerves are probably shot to pieces and you're exhausted as all hell...and still managed to overlook the one (VIP) you should remember on VDay; me! Not me, as in ME (well, it's very kind and thoughtful if you do think of me send me something...no flowers, please; but I do accept orchids (all colors)), but 'me' as in You; yourself.
Boo'd-up or not, Valentine's Day is definitely a day for self-love (I don't mean in that way, but if it works; hey...do you!). Many go out of their way to make sure the day is perfect for their Valentine, but forget about themselves in the process. It's a day to appreciate yourself, as well. Take some time do something nice for yourself: mani/pedi, facial, massage, purchase something you've been wanting to to get, read to a group of children, volunteer, do a staycation or one-day getaway, partake in something you've been longing to experience; do what you enjoy to do...something you will look back on and it will make you smile (inside and out) and feel good all over.
Thinking about your lover on Valentine' Day, their happiness, and the love (or that love-like thing) the two of you share is wonderful, but we know whose happiness and satisfaction really matters, right?
If you're single; hell, live it up! Don't let it hold you down. Embrace it, claim it, rock with it. Have a Me Day!
All of you: Value yourself. Treasure yourself. LOVE YOURSELF!
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