Prerequisite for a Second Date

A good vibe? Sparks? A full set of [uncapped] teeth? Making it through dinner without describing their Top 10 Allergy triggers or crying three times over their former significant other? Sexual tension that makes you want to burst...or slap somebody? Securing the practically unattainable and rare second date; nice work if you can get it...and if you got it; dish the dirt! What did you do (or didn't do) to get it?

According to recent conversations and discussions I've had regarding the dating game, it seems as if spreading your legs, touching your toes, and the ability to have an orgasm without becoming entangled in a sticky situation are prerequisites and required qualifications for a second date. Or, as I like to call it "another chance to shag you before I ignore your calls, block your texts, and pretend like I've never seen you before in my life."

Whatever happened to the good old days of sex before marriage but after the fourth date; knowing someone's name before knowing their underwear cut and color? Where are they hiding and how did we lose them?

Again, I blame technology for the lack of grace and decline in people's social skills; especially when it comes to dating and human interaction. Brain cells are deteriorating and people are losing their damn minds and ability for intelligent interaction and conversation, by hiding behind computers and other electronic devices. Online dating and electronic devices are great distractions and adult babysitters, but they are also hazardous to your social, mental, and emotional health. (I may have just made up social health, but go with me.) They seem to increase the fear of rejection and commitment to astronomical levels; up the ladder and through the roof.

Long gone are the days of pleasant and fun conversation, laughing at jokes, discovering mutual interests outside of leather, S&M, and water sports (and I absolutely DO NOT mean jet skiing or snorkeling). Looking into someone's eyes and longing to do it again, enjoying the scent of someone so much it etches a thought of them into your brain, and wanting to truly get to know someone for whom they are and what they represent are now ancient and no longer second date determiners. Kissing [French; as in, with tongue] is required; 'dropping it like it hot' and 'putting your back into it' are not frowned upon and often, over zealously, encouraged.

While the second date is practically impossible to get; unless you give a little to get a little....I won't even mention the third date. If you can get that far (even with sex), I would expect a ring to be presented before dessert.

As always, while they may have their prerequisites; you have and keep your standards -- held high. If their prerequisites are lame; they don't deserve you. Keep it wrapped. Keep it fresh. Keep it moving!