People Wonder Why I'm Single

...DATING AIN'T EASY!

Even for me...with all my sex appeal, swag, and fabulosity...in a city with far too many millions of people. It doesn't mean a thing; except that there are...

*more freaks (and not in a good way)

*more geeks (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but these are of the unsexy variety and many are crazy as all hell. s-c-a-r-y!)

*more people who don't do/aren't into/afraid of...commitment. (I don't get it; the way people react to "the c-word," it's as if it will take you six weeks and a prescription or a shot to get rid of it. I must not be considering something...will someone please enlighten me?) [PS: it's not commitment that will do you in; it's that "L" word -- 4 letters; In a movie, Halle Berry said "it's like some kind of disease you just catch."]

*more people who "just got out of something serious" (which implies that I somehow missed the boat...or maybe I'm on the wrong island; everyone I encounter seems to be getting off the boat...maybe I should be on the other island getting ON the boat. Hmmmm.)

*more people who just want sex (Sex; and sex only...some are even willing to pay for it; this is what I've been told...no one's offered to pay me. SAD...I can't seem to get any kind of paying gig. lol.)

*more people who don't want to be your Sugar Daddy/Momma because someone else took them through the ringer or they think their friends will judge them (Now, if you have the friend situation...you need new friends. I think it's time I say this: to this day, I have yet to be involved [notice I said 'involved' and not 'met'] with someone who even qualifies to be one of my personal sponsors [the Sugar Daddy/Momma thing is sooooo o-u-t]. Just because you make more money than I do, doesn't mean you can afford me; and also...Tumi isn't [that] expensive and I don't need you to take care of me.)

*more people who are intimated by me and my fabulousness (What can I say? I'm me...I have always been and I will always be. I have excellent taste in quality things...much of it just happens to be expensive. Get use to it!) [Here's what I don't understand about this caveat.....it seems to me that those who notice and are uncomfortable with my taste in things fail to realize that I have interest in them -- of course, this only applies to those whom I actually have interest. I don't get it. Enlighten me?]

*more people who party (Do I even need to mention the smokers and drug users? Smoke annoys the hell out of me and drugs I'm not even trying to get into. So, the way I see it, being around those who have these factors in their life [more so drugs than smoking] invites unappreciated drama and pressure in my life. Do I need it? Do I want it? Hell to the no!)

*more people who don't satisfy my standards and requirements (Call me a bitch...call me mean...call me jaded...call me bitter...call me scorned....call me anything you want, but you will NEVER call me unsatisfied, because I REFUSE to settle. No way; no how...not going to happen.

I keep meeting candidates who fall into one or more of the above categories. There are a few more, but these are the simple answers to why I (and I'm sure countless others) am single...so quit asking. The next person who asks may just have to get bitch-slapped...Knots Landing and Dynasty style.

And for those who have the audacity and unmitigated gall to ponder...yes, it's them and not me. Don't get it twisted!