The Christian Grey Effect

Fifty Shades of Grey is still the saucy water-cooler topic of the moment and it's still making people sweat from reading it and blush at the mention of it. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps it is because people assume what it's about before reading it or because people have been living sheltered lives and have been sexually restrained (no pun intended) or inexpressive for far too long. Either way, I pass no judgement. I'm reading the trilogy; or rather, I should say...I'm *still* reading the trilogy. It's a fight and struggle...one I'm desperately ready to overcome.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to see a "romance" novel that reads more like a traditional fiction novel, but I can only take so much boredom. And...hell-to-the-yes...Christian Grey is a dream; with his flaws and all! Yet, while he's making ladies (and some guy-loving men) flip their tops, he's highlighting the many shades of crazy in the men folk. In a way, it's a blessing in disguise as it makes one aware of the BS and nonsense when they see it and know when to walk away.

You know what I'm talking about. Those 'men' who want to call all of the shots, make all of the decisions, and have you do and act as he says in ways that please him.

• The man who wants to talk non-stop and expects you to listen without interrupting (most likely because he doesn't think you have an option of value); yet, he's not saying anything of substance...and likely just tooting his own horn and singing his own praises.
• The man who wants to dictate and determine whom you can have as friends. Opposite-sex friends are a definite NO; despite the fact they have been in your life prior to him and will likely continue to be in your life AFTER him.
• The man who expects you to be conservative in the streets and a freak between the sheets. Wait, isn't that every man?
• My personal favorite, the man who wants you to eat when he eats and what he says to eat. Better known as, the man who orders for you ,but doesn't know what you want. Yes, he's ordering what he wants you to eat. Which could be cool...under some circumstance...but is definitely not hot when he orders you a steak and you're a vegetarian.

Doesn't that sound like the delish and scrumptious Christian Grey, CEO? For the most part, it is. Now, imagine it's the guy sitting across from you. Is he Christian? If he's not, get up and walk away. Don't say anything; just get up...and go. Don't let anyone come into your life with Christian Grey tendencies without delivering the Christian Grey benefits:

• The American Express "Black" card
• Puts thousands of dollars in your account so you will have pocket change
• Turns you inside out, right-side up, and any which way but loose
• Provides a personal trainer and personal shopper for you
• Begs you to spend his money...and smiles when you do
• His eyes only see you

All of the others and their various shades of fxck'ry and fxckedupness...do yourself a favor and send them back to Harry Potter and Dr. Seuss.  

You can do bad all by yourself...and you don't need their craziness to boot.