Hooking Up

Yes. That.

Within the past week alone, it's been the topic of discussion...in a different way than normal; "newsworthy." Yes, I said it...like it's the new hotness. I've read an article's popular on the social media circuit and people are on national television shows discussing it and asking for viewer's thoughts. 

A word to the left behind: Hooking up is not new. Where have y'all been?  Am I missing something or are media notables of the heterosexual community just catching on or feeling comfortable enough to talk about it?

It's old; real old. It's a nuisance. It's been here for so damn long, I believe it's one of the main f***ing (no pun intended) reasons dating and relationships have gone by the wayside. Mass quantity, no responsibility, profit/gain. As the saying goes, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?".

It's bad; real bad. I'm all about change and evolution, but dating and relationships seem to be on the verge of extinction; at least, as they are traditionally known and what's taking its place doesn't even resemble a relationship --- it's like a suit without any lining. Hooking up has been around for so long and has become so popular, it's become the main and first point of conversation of catch-ups amongst friends [let me tell you about my latest victim...I mean conquest...trophy....Let me tell you about whom I did what with], people are doing research studies on it, and it's become a culture: Hookup Culture. That must be like having a mind of its own.

It's not newsworthy. Point blank, period. How do we save society and have people form more interpersonal relationships of substance with each other (not necessarily physical or romantic), as in let's spend some time together and not disrespect or act like we don't know each other once we part ways...THAT is newsworthy. Hell, finding people who still believe in dating and getting to know each other will make a great news story; they are rare. If you can find someone who inquires of your name before trying to kiss you...they should be the next social media or reality tv star.

The Big Picture: See More Than What You Expect

Don't become too focused on searching for one, particular thing; you could be overlooking something of greater substance, value, and joy.  The little, unexpected surprises can be life changing and of monumental fulfillment.

It's amazing what we don't see because we're too busy looking for something specific. Joy, happiness, and beauty come in more forms than what's envisioned.

Be alert.

Pay attention.

See the ENTIRE picture.

This applies to those "searching for someone" situations, as well.

I Will Always Love You: A Love Letter

Everyone knows how much I love me some Whitney Houston and pretty much everyone love's her rendition of "I Will Always Love You." Dolly Parton did a wonderful job with the lyrics -- they are simple, to the point, and honest. It's an amazing song, but it's like the ultimate love letter.

Picture it:

Dear [insert name here]

"If I should stay, I would only be in your way. So, I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way.... I will always love you."

[your name here]

Ok, a break-up letter; but, still...talk about powerful, great impact, and effective.

#speechless

Valentine's Day: Love The One You Are

February 14th.

Yep. "That" day of the year.

Some love it. Some dread it.

Don't get wrapped up in it --- the commercialism of Valentine's Day; it's not the sole day of the year where your significant other should express their love for you and vice versa --- that should be shown and expressed daily...and not strictly in forms of gifts. Love transcends many forms and ranges, yet is all-encompassing. You know, "actions speak louder than words," but together...it's a powerful message with a clear and precise meaning: Love is!

If you don't have a significant other, Valentine's Day is, also, not the day to mope around, complain, and feel depressed about not being romantically connected with someone. In both instances, Valentine's Day IS another day to acknowledge and celebrate the love you have for yourself.  It should be the first love, the most fulfilling love, the foundation for love. It is the greatest love. Before you love the one you're with (or want to be with), love the one you are.

Loving yourself leads to higher self-esteem, self-worth, self-appreciation, a better understanding of self, and the knowledge of knowing what to expect in terms of love from others.

If you love who you are, others will love you for who you are. You're loving you, they're loving you...that's a lot of love. Good love.

Be you.
Embrace you.
Hug you.
LOVE YOU.

Overlooked and Understated: What's Not Being Talked About Regarding the Loss of Whitney Houston

It's almost been a year since the day my world stopped; the day we lost a national treasure...a legend...an icon. February 11, 2012. The day Whitney Houston died.

That day, Whitney spread her wings and transcended to be with 'somebody bigger than you and I.' That day, we believe she found the peace, tranquility, and wholesome, unconditional love we hope our loved ones obtain when we lose them. That day marked the beginning of our remembrance of her and her legacy --- her family, friends, and fans mourn...and continue to do so a year later.

That day fed and released the vultures and critics; those who fail (or are too ignorant) to see her for the wonderful person and extraordinary talent she was -- her level of accomplishment and success, her historical achievements, and the millions of lives she's touched around the globe.

In my opinion, coverage and articles about her death have focused more on her personal life and struggles -- as they did through most of her career -- instead of her incomparable and illustrious career. One fan tweeted:

Whitney Houston's story isn't in the drugs her story is in the impact she made on this world even through the worldly devils.
— Troy Story (@mrLdavis) January 29, 2013

I agree. Whitney Houston impacted the world and the lives of millions of people; not to mention the precedence and standard she set for future artists and vocalists. Most of this was accomplished with her voice...and the skill, talent, and know-how to use her instrument.

There are a few things that really upset me and work my nerves related to the coverage and continued coverage of her death; to me, most of these pieces have an unvoiced undertone and feel that would be present if they were covering the life and career of someone whose passing was the result of an overdose. Again, I believe this is a result from the unwavering focus on her issues with drugs. Which brings me to my other matter of contention...

The opportunities for public awareness and education that can grow from elements surrounding Whitney's life and sudden passing.  Whitney's death was ruled to be a result of an accidental drowning. While reports have noted that her toxicology report returned the presence of barbiturates in her system at the time of her death, it was also noted that Whitney had heart disease. You hear about the drugs in the coverage, but how often have you heard about the heart disease?

On the January 28, 2013, episode of Next Chapter, Whitney's mother, Grammy winning Gospel recording artist Cissy Houston, revealed to Oprah Winfrey that Whitney suffered a heart attack, which leads one to assume that resulted in her falling face-first into the bathtub of water. [promo video for the interview below]

Now, I'm not saying that the public awareness and education opportunities I speak of need to be directly tied to Whitney's story, but this is a valid time to educate society and promote healthy lifestyles, healthy living, heart health, and the dangers involved in using drugs.

• Partake in a healthy food diet
• Exercise, have a communicative and healthy relationship with your doctor, and have checkups and visits regularly
• Don't participate in self-destructive behavior and activities; they could have damaging effects one may not realize. Did you know cocaine usage could lead to heart disease? I didn't either...and never would have thought it. The things we learn!
• As the saying goes "Say 'NO' to Drugs"!
• Don't combine drugs (prescription, controlled, over-the-counter, or a combination of the sort) ... unless advised and/or approved by your doctor. When I say "controlled," I mean "illegal."
• Don't mix alcohol and medication [there's a reason those labels are on the bottles], but it's a common practice...far too many people do it.

Don't get it twisted...the points above are my opinions/tips/thoughts on a few things that I think could lead to a healthier lifestyle and a overall better life. I am not a physician and I am not saying these are relevant to or a part of Whitney's story, but I am saying that I think these are things that could be of use and interest to the general public, instead of always being overlooked, understated, or intentionally ignored.

Public education does not always have to be courtesy of a PSA (Public Service Announcement).





Bonus: Be sure to click the "Next Chapter" link in the post; you'll be able to discover what nickname Whitney Houston gave her mother, Cissy Houston.  :-)

In The Woods With Cheet-ahs

Searching for the next conquest...always on the prowl...prey...victims being torn to pieces.

CHEETAHS.

While the beautiful animals who roam in the wild are vicious, I'm talking about their equally powerful and destructive counterparts...men (and women) who cheat on their significant others.

CHEATERS.

Same actions; different emotions, different outcomes.

A cheetah's behavior is one of instinct and based on survival. What explains the behavior of a cheater? Some have argued both instinct and survival. Do I need to point out that I don't buy either; especially the survival?

We've heard of people who done it; some of us know people who've done it, some maybe doing it or have done it. I am not a cheater, I have never cheated; therefore, I'm clueless to the world and life of a cheater. I welcome the enlightenment. Why cheat? What entices or contributes to your actions? What do you get from it; is there a reward? Many are secretive about their cheating endeavors; why? Is there shame? Why not free yourself from your current situation before roaming the land?

I welcome everyone (bystanders, victims, prey, willing participants [that's an entirely different post], etc) to chime in; to those who cheat or have cheated...an open invitation.

Join me at my table...let's discuss.

Giving Up, Turning Loose

Giving up and turning loose is not the same as quitting. Well, it can be...but, don't let it be. The trick is to reevaluate, re-envision, and refocus; direct your energy and efforts in a new direction...the right direction. The direction where you and your best interests are the focus and your happiness is the end goal and destination.

Before you can redirect, you have to know how the current situation makes you feel and affects you within. This is, also, the time to acknowledge that the situation isn't right for you and why it isn't right. It may sound difficult, but easier to do than you think. Be objective about the situation --- take it all in and extract the learning experiences and opportunities --- be present, embrace yourself, affirm what you're getting from the moment, and claim what you want and intend to get.

A few "complete the sentences" to help get you there:

• This isn't working for me, because...
• I want...
• To get it, I will...
• My goal is...
• This entire situation has taught me...

Knowing when to let go is one of the most powerful moments one can experience; it's at this time when you know you've given something your all and have realized that it's not the best for you. This is the moment where you set yourself free; releasing YOU from restraints. Let it go and prepare yourself for what's right for you...rather it be something or someone. Understand and become familiar with what doesn't work for you; that way, you're familiar with them and if you should ever encounter them, again, in your life you'll know to avoid those things (elements, factors, people, etc) and not to waste valuable time dealing with them unnecessarily.

Give it up.
Turn it loose.

Spread your wings.
SOAR.
Get to where you want to be.