The platform where I unleash my personality, wit, charm, and humor while sharing my comments and highly sought after opinions on...EVERYTHING: life (my life, the lives of others, life in NYC), love/relationships and other things that waste time, entertainment, current events, weird social behaviors, and anything else I feel needs my love and special attention.
I'm your everyday, quintessential, slightly above average [pseudo] celebrity/poet/author/executive and personal assistant /voice actor who's talented, creative, charming, some-what funny individual who is indescribable in words. In short, I'm the person you never thought existed until you know me in your own special way.
It's that time of the year --- the end of it -- where I reflect on my favorites and things that have touched my life. Yes, music continues to be a significant part of my life and who I am as a person, so I have returned with what I consider my personal soundtrack. With all that happened in 2012 [primarily, the loss of Whitney Houston --- and a few other things], I didn't supply a set for last year, but don't worry -- the music continued and I have included songs to cover 2012 and 2013. I have listened to the "soundtrack" and enjoyed reflecting on the songs and the moments in my life that made them significant to me over the past two years. I present to you the latest edition of My Life in Music. These are songs that have shaken my world, played with my emotions, and reflect aspects of
my personality; contain lyrics that touched my soul; or just made me shout "That is my song!" (over and over, again) during the span of 2012 and 2013. MY LIFE IN MUSIC: Soundtrack to Me 2012 + 2013
Emeli Sandé - Read All About It (Part III)
Robin Thicke - The Good Life
Fantasia - Get It Right
Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man
Beyoncé - Love On Top
John Legend - Shelter
Lina - I'm Not The Enemy
Tamar Braxton - Love & War
Whitney Houston - All The Man That I Need
Christina Aguilera - Here To Stay
Mary J. Blige - I Feel Good
Whitney Houston - Oh Yes
Bruno Mars - If I Knew
Katy Perry - Walking On Air
Whitney Houston - Don't Cry For Me (live)
James Blunt - Miss America
Tamia - It's Not Fair
Jill Scott - Shame
Patti LaBelle - Not Right But Real
John Legend - Tonight (Best You Ever Had)
Katy Perry - Roar
Robin Thicke - Get In My Way
Jonas Brothers - Pom Poms
Adele - Set Fire To The Rain
India.Arie - Just Do You
Brandy, Tamia, Gladys Knight, Chaka Khan - Missing You
Tamia - Smile
Ledisi - I Blame You
Beyoncé - Schoolin' Life
As I always say, to me
music is a therapy: it relaxes me, it inspires me, it becomes my voice
to express myself when I cannot find the words. Put your life to music. Which songs capture you?
Deals! Deals! Deals! Buy this. Buy now. Limited time only... Chiiiiiile, bye. These shopping shenanigans stay doing the absolute mostest (and yes, I meant 'mostest'). From Black Friday dipping into Thanksgiving Day and Cyber Monday starting the Saturday before. I know times are tough, the seasons and other things change, but a 'day' is still only a specific 24-hour period. Friday is Friday and Monday is Monday; black, white, online, or off...they don't change. These shopping holidays [read: gimmick days] are unbelievably entertaining: from the way consumers line up, camp out, and act like raging fools over limited supply, cheaply-priced, about-to-be-phased-out-or-discontinued products to re- and e-tailers trying to lure you into purchases with 'deeply discounted' marketing and advertising. Hi-la-ri-ous! From the commercials and print advertisements I've seen along with the influx of promotional emails; many of the special sales are pretty much sans special. Far too many are identical repurposed Friends & Family sales specials from a few weeks prior. I just knew I'd had enough when a luxury retailer send an email advertising their Cyber Monday special as Free Gift-Wrapping. After realizing I would have preferred for them to use the term "complimentary" in lieu of 'free,' I wanted to toss my laptop around the room, but quickly realized that the computers being promoted for the special days had lower specs than my current machine and a higher price tag. No losing to win there. In short, stop acting like you've never gone shopping before and giving into the hype; retail employees would like to spend time with their families and enjoy the holidays. Shop strategically; it may be promoted as the best sale price, but the lowest price may actually occur at another time. Also, do a cost/time analysis -- will the cost outweigh the amount of time and energy you consumed waiting for stores to open, waiting in lines, and wrangling yourself through hordes of people? Shopping Seasons's Greetings!
Have you ever looked for a job? Any job? A real job? An interesting job? A challenging job? A likeable job? One that's worth-while and worthy of your time? Yeah, it's a process. Yet, while each company's online resume submission tool will likely make you want to toss your laptop, tablet, and universal remote across the room, pull out your hair, duct tape your eyes shut, remove your fingernails, AND scream, there's always that inevitable, "voluntary" survey. Yes, that one! The Race/Ethnicity/Equal Opportunity/Disabled/Veteran/Non-Discrimination survey....or, should you prefer it's more lotto-centric, joke amongst some crowd name: The Pick One. Only one. All are someone interesting, some are wordier than others, and each one makes you wonder: what happens if/when I choose "not to disclose/respond"? The options below from a section on of the surveys was rather side-eye inducing:
Race: What is your race? Select one of the following race categories.
White A person having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, the MiddleEast, or North Africa.
Black or African American A persons having origins in any of the Black racial groups of Africa.
Asian A
person having origins in any of the original peoples of the Far East,
Southeast Asia or the Indian Subcontinent, including, for example,
Cambodia, China, India, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Pakistan, The Philippine
Islands, Thailand, and Vietnam.
Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander A person having origins in any of the peoples of Hawaii, Guam, Samoa, or other Pacific Islands.
American Indian or Alaskan Native A
person having origins in any of the original peoples of North and South
America (including Central America), and who maintains tribal
affiliation or community attachment.
The greatest diva of all would have turned 50 years old today. It has been a year and a half and not a day goes by that she isn't thought of and missed.
I can't sing...at all...so I'll express in the way that I know.
Aptly titled with the words she often proclaimed with warmth, "I Love You, Back!" is my tribute to and celebration of the icon and legend...WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I've long heard the old saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach; but, does that journey start in the stomach, above the stomach, or below the stomach? Then, in which direction do you work? Which bring me to today and my homegirl ... I happen to love her so much ... Jada Pinkett-Smith (yes, we are bffs...in some way and form...in my mind). I straighten my bangs to her -- she truly continues to amaze me with the questions she poses publicly and the issues she fights for and support. I just love how she pretty much just says her business is her business, her life is her life; get yours, behave within your realms, and be who you are.
Anyway, back to today... Ms. Jada posed two really good questions; initially, pretty much asking 'is a man's heart in his Oscar-Meyer-Schlong-Dong' and then followed it up with this:
""Is great sex the only need, or primary need, for a man to have a good relationship with his partner?"
I love that she used "partner," because it adds another layer of potential discussion if you consider a relationship between two men .... and if both of their hearts are in the same location or different. As she noted in her Facebook post, it's a debate among she and her girlfriends and she's asking people to simply comment "YES" or "NO." That's nice and all, but I want to know your REAL thoughts; I mean, start out with the 'yes' or 'no,' but then give me the real juice...tell me why. GIVE IT ME! Drag your friends into the conversation (share buttons below), too, let's all talk. Bring men! I have an idea of what women will say, but I want to hear what the gentlemen have to say, as well. Jada used with her post, as well. I have a feeling it's how many view the placement of the (romantic) hearts in women and men. Ooooh...that just made me think of a similar question about gay relationships. Hmmmm....!
Today is a "topics from social media" day; there are a few interesting questions surrounding dating and relationships that are floating around the networks and they offer some great discussion opportunities.
One was a tweet by Juan San Roman:
If you're in a relationship, flirting is cheating.
— Juan San Roman (@_JuanSanRoman) June 7, 2013
Some think cheating is only when visible activity (you know...sex) is involved; some way it's emotional. What is your take on this: within the boundaries of a relationship, is flirting innocent and allowable or is it cheating?
Comment below on how you feel and share this post with your friends to get their take.
Also, about to share with you a question from Jada Pinkett-Smith involving a man, his penis, and a relationship. Be sure to check it out...it's a good one.
Yes. That. Within the past week alone, it's been the topic of discussion...in a different way than normal; "newsworthy." Yes, I said it...like it's the new hotness. I've read an article's popular on the social media circuit and people are on national television shows discussing it and asking for viewer's thoughts.
A word to the left behind: Hooking up is not new. Where have y'all been? Am I missing something or are media notables of the heterosexual community just catching on or feeling comfortable enough to talk about it? It's old; real old. It's a nuisance. It's been here for so damn long, I believe it's one of the main f***ing (no pun intended) reasons dating and relationships have gone by the wayside. Mass quantity, no responsibility, profit/gain. As the saying goes, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?". It's bad; real bad. I'm all about change and evolution, but dating and relationships seem to be on the verge of extinction; at least, as they are traditionally known and what's taking its place doesn't even resemble a relationship --- it's like a suit without any lining. Hooking up has been around for so long and has become so popular, it's become the main and first point of conversation of catch-ups amongst friends [let me tell you about my latest victim...I mean conquest...trophy....Let me tell you about whom I did what with], people are doing research studies on it, and it's become a culture: Hookup Culture. That must be like having a mind of its own. It's not newsworthy. Point blank, period. How do we save society and have people form more interpersonal relationships of substance with each other (not necessarily physical or romantic), as in let's spend some time together and not disrespect or act like we don't know each other once we part ways...THAT is newsworthy. Hell, finding people who still believe in dating and getting to know each other will make a great news story; they are rare. If you can find someone who inquires of your name before trying to kiss you...they should be the next social media or reality tv star.
Don't become too focused on searching for one, particular thing; you could be overlooking something of greater substance, value, and joy. The little, unexpected surprises can be life changing and of monumental fulfillment.
It's amazing what we don't see because we're too busy looking for something specific. Joy, happiness, and beauty come in more forms than what's envisioned.
Be alert.
Pay attention.
See the ENTIRE picture.
This applies to those "searching for someone" situations, as well.
Everyone knows how much I love me some Whitney Houston and pretty much everyone love's her rendition of "I Will Always Love You." Dolly Parton did a wonderful job with the lyrics -- they are simple, to the point, and honest. It's an amazing song, but it's like the ultimate love letter.
Picture it:
Dear [insert name here]
"If I should stay, I would only be in your way. So, I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way....
I will always love you."
[your name here]
Ok, a break-up letter; but, still...talk about powerful, great impact, and effective.
Don't get wrapped up in it --- the commercialism of Valentine's Day; it's not the sole day of the year where your significant other should express their love for you and vice versa --- that should be shown and expressed daily...and not strictly in forms of gifts. Love transcends many forms and ranges, yet is all-encompassing. You know, "actions speak louder than words," but together...it's a powerful message with a clear and precise meaning: Love is!
If you don't have a significant other, Valentine's Day is, also, not the day to mope around, complain, and feel depressed about not being romantically connected with someone. In both instances, Valentine's Day IS another day to acknowledge and celebrate the love you have for yourself. It should be the first love, the most fulfilling love, the foundation for love. It is the greatest love. Before you love the one you're with (or want to be with), love the one you are.
Loving yourself leads to higher self-esteem, self-worth, self-appreciation, a better understanding of self, and the knowledge of knowing what to expect in terms of love from others.
If you love who you are, others will love you for who you are. You're loving you, they're loving you...that's a lot of love. Good love.
It's almost been a year since the day my world stopped; the day we lost a national treasure...a legend...an icon. February 11, 2012. The day Whitney Houston died.
That day, Whitney spread her wings and transcended to be with 'somebody bigger than you and I.' That day, we believe she found the peace, tranquility, and wholesome, unconditional love we hope our loved ones obtain when we lose them. That day marked the beginning of our remembrance of her and her legacy --- her family, friends, and fans mourn...and continue to do so a year later.
That day fed and released the vultures and critics; those who fail (or are too ignorant) to see her for the wonderful person and extraordinary talent she was -- her level of accomplishment and success, her historical achievements, and the millions of lives she's touched around the globe.
In my opinion, coverage and articles about her death have focused more on her personal life and struggles -- as they did through most of her career -- instead of her incomparable and illustrious career. One fan tweeted:
Whitney Houston's story isn't in the drugs her story is in the impact she made on this world even through the worldly devils.
— Troy Story (@mrLdavis) January 29, 2013
I agree. Whitney Houston impacted the world and the lives of millions of people; not to mention the precedence and standard she set for future artists and vocalists. Most of this was accomplished with her voice...and the skill, talent, and know-how to use her instrument.
There are a few things that really upset me and work my nerves related to the coverage and continued coverage of her death; to me, most of these pieces have an unvoiced undertone and feel that would be present if they were covering the life and career of someone whose passing was the result of an overdose. Again, I believe this is a result from the unwavering focus on her issues with drugs. Which brings me to my other matter of contention...
The opportunities for public awareness and education that can grow from elements surrounding Whitney's life and sudden passing. Whitney's death was ruled to be a result of an accidental drowning. While reports have noted that her toxicology report returned the presence of barbiturates in her system at the time of her death, it was also noted that Whitney had heart disease. You hear about the drugs in the coverage, but how often have you heard about the heart disease?
On the January 28, 2013, episode of Next Chapter, Whitney's mother, Grammy winning Gospel recording artist Cissy Houston, revealed to Oprah Winfrey that Whitney suffered a heart attack, which leads one to assume that resulted in her falling face-first into the bathtub of water. [promo video for the interview below]
Now, I'm not saying that the public awareness and education opportunities I speak of need to be directly tied to Whitney's story, but this is a valid time to educate society and promote healthy lifestyles, healthy living, heart health, and the dangers involved in using drugs.
Partake in a healthy food diet
Exercise, have a communicative and healthy relationship with your doctor, and have checkups and visits regularly
Don't participate in self-destructive behavior and activities; they could have damaging effects one may not realize. Did you know cocaine usage could lead to heart disease? I didn't either...and never would have thought it. The things we learn!
As the saying goes "Say 'NO' to Drugs"!
Don't combine drugs (prescription, controlled, over-the-counter, or a combination of the sort) ... unless advised and/or approved by your doctor. When I say "controlled," I mean "illegal."
Don't mix alcohol and medication [there's a reason those labels are on the bottles], but it's a common practice...far too many people do it.
Don't get it twisted...the points above are my opinions/tips/thoughts on a few things that I think could lead to a healthier lifestyle and a overall better life. I am not a physician and I am not saying these are relevant to or a part of Whitney's story, but I am saying that I think these are things that could be of use and interest to the general public, instead of always being overlooked, understated, or intentionally ignored.
Public education does not always have to be courtesy of a PSA (Public Service Announcement).
Bonus: Be sure to click the "Next Chapter" link in the post; you'll be able to discover what nickname Whitney Houston gave her mother, Cissy Houston. :-)
Searching for the next conquest...always on the prowl...prey...victims being torn to pieces.
CHEETAHS.
While the beautiful animals who roam in the wild are vicious, I'm talking about their equally powerful and destructive counterparts...men (and women) who cheat on their significant others.
CHEATERS.
Same actions; different emotions, different outcomes.
A cheetah's behavior is one of instinct and based on survival. What explains the behavior of a cheater? Some have argued both instinct and survival. Do I need to point out that I don't buy either; especially the survival?
We've heard of people who done it; some of us know people who've done it, some maybe doing it or have done it. I am not a cheater, I have never cheated; therefore, I'm clueless to the world and life of a cheater. I welcome the enlightenment. Why cheat? What entices or contributes to your actions? What do you get from it; is there a reward? Many are secretive about their cheating endeavors; why? Is there shame? Why not free yourself from your current situation before roaming the land?
I welcome everyone (bystanders, victims, prey, willing participants [that's an entirely different post], etc) to chime in; to those who cheat or have cheated...an open invitation.
Giving up and turning loose is not the same as quitting. Well, it can be...but, don't let it be. The trick is to reevaluate, re-envision, and refocus; direct your energy and efforts in a new direction...the right direction. The direction where you and your best interests are the focus and your happiness is the end goal and destination.
Before you can redirect, you have to know how the current situation makes you feel and affects you within. This is, also, the time to acknowledge that the situation isn't right for you and why it isn't right. It may sound difficult, but easier to do than you think. Be objective about the situation --- take it all in and extract the learning experiences and opportunities --- be present, embrace yourself, affirm what you're getting from the moment, and claim what you want and intend to get.
A few "complete the sentences" to help get you there:
This isn't working for me, because...
I want...
To get it, I will...
My goal is...
This entire situation has taught me...
Knowing when to let go is one of the most powerful moments one can experience; it's at this time when you know you've given something your all and have realized that it's not the best for you. This is the moment where you set yourself free; releasing YOU from restraints. Let it go and prepare yourself for what's right for you...rather it be something or someone. Understand and become familiar with what doesn't work for you; that way, you're familiar with them and if you should ever encounter them, again, in your life you'll know to avoid those things (elements, factors, people, etc) and not to waste valuable time dealing with them unnecessarily.
Give it up.
Turn it loose.
Spread your wings.
SOAR.
Get to where you want to be.
Sex.
You know it? (I'm hoping for a 'yes.')
You've had it? (Keeping my fingers crossed.)
Good...let's talk about it. Okay, maybe not about IT, but something in relation to it.
Like: why does sex make people lose their damn minds? I'm not talking about game time "I'm in a state of euphoria I can't think straight." I'm talking about pregame, full-blown, kray-kray crazy!
Is it the lack of sex or the hunt for sex that puts people in a whole new, leveled-up element. All of this multiple personalities and fifty shades of nonsense is too much. I can't take it...and the dating world doesn't seem to be handling it well, either.
I'll admit: I've tried pretty much every form of dating and have met folks through all of them. While many of the methods have sucked, so have many of the dates, and most of the people I've gone on dates with, but...I digress. The most interesting and entertaining aspect of it was stumbling upon a few of those I've gone on dates with on a few of the other platforms.
Example: Mama's Big Rusty Baby
Let's say I'm introduced to Mama's Big Rusty Baby via a friend/coworker; we chat, we connect, we go on a date...I no longer speak to that friend/coworker, change my SSN, move out of state, and have my mail/email marked "undeliverable." I then run across MBRB at a lounge/bar, at a sporting/social event, and on an online dating site.
Four different environments with MBRB and four different personalities; each belonging to MBRB...all with one goal: sex. Aside from them doing and saying things from another planet and only makes sense to logical sense to them, additional craziness comes about when you try to put all of these personalities together to form one person; each personality has a different mindset, different interests, and different beliefs...and remember it's all the same person. Each encounter puts a blank stare on your face, because you have no idea what to think of this person, while they swear they are being cute, persuasive, irresistible, flattering, and about to get them "some."
What goes on in people's minds when it's clouded with sex? Common sense does not seem to exist when the possibility or pursuit of sex is present. Randy Gage once said, "When you let your sexual thoughts control you, you lose all focus and purpose."
I can kinda see it; people end up all over the place...doing and saying things they really should not be, but think it's all peaches and cream. Even the professional quacks know that you gradually unleash the whackness over a period of time; not all at once or over a two-week time span.
Meanwhile, back in Myville, I'm trying to figure out how to process all of this and still see them as normal. It. Just. Doesn't. Work. It's pretty much an overload...and near impossible. I've given some the benefit of the doubt; only to be reminded that crazy is abundantly available.
At which point and where does one present their true self to someone they are trying to get to know...and have sex with? You know, when do people really put the real them on display and become that comfortable, natural sexy? The real key to getting that mind-blowing sex that really makes you kray-kray for sugary snacks.
Yelling from the sidelines. Jumping up-and-down on the bleachers. Making a whole mess of noise. Why? Do you need attention that badly or can you back those words up?
There's nothing worse than someone who can talk a lot of game...or worse, a good game, but can't play worth a damn. Just a bunch of hot air; wasted.
As the saying goes, "don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash," because you will be bounced all over the place and laughed out of town. Jokers are only loved on stage.
Don't just talk; play the game! If you can't, do everyone and yourself a favor and go have several seats in the stands. Scream, shout, jump about, and wave your foam finger from there.
Life is not about words; it's about actions. Talking will only get you so far, it's your actions that get you where you need to be and keep you there.
2013 is well underway. How's it working out for you thus far? How are you different this year than you were last year? Where do you want this year to take you and what do you hope to achieve? Resolutions. Did you make any? What are they? Are you still on track to satisfy them? Yes, I know, a lot of questions. I'm asking because this is all about YOU. I want you to look at and within yourself; know who you are...accept who you are...love who you are...and be happy. Get to happy if you're not there. Define what happy is to you and claim it, grab it, embrace the hell out of it! The new you doesn't have to be brought on by a drastic or life changing measure; it can be small. My challenge for you is to do something to make a positive change in your life that gets you closer to happy or allows you to experience a deeper, greater, and more fulfilling happy. Grow, develop, expand your horizons! Make the you of tomorrow different from the you of today. Do something you've always wanted to do, something someone said you could never do, something you've never thought of doing, or put on your grown-folk drawers and do something you are afraid to do. Don't make me double-dare you! I'm waiting to meet the new and happier you. 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2... 2013 is on you. Make it count! **champagne wishes**
