Cash Only

It's 2009, so the use of the phrase "cash only" is outdated and downright...sketchy. In a world of "credit or debit," 'cash only' sticks out and typically indicates that someone is up to something their mother wouldn't condone or is holding back on their taxes; also something their mother wouldn't condone (I'm totally assuming on this one, cause I know how some people's mothers operate).

Well, I'm in New York City. We have our share of crooks and schemers; so, occasionally one runs across 'cash only.' In a plastic society, it pisses you off...trust me. Friday night, we stumbled across it...twice: it was stated (or rather printed on the menu) in one instance and implied in the other. The printed occurrence was at an inexpensive Mexican restaurant (when I say inexpensive I mean really, really, unbelievably cheap...beginning with the door handle and everything thereafter) . In my personal opinion, a business would accept credit cards (at least Visa or AMEX) in a society where people tend to put a large amount of their transactions on their credit/debit cards. I think accepting credit cards would help increase revenue...which is a good thing for all businesses, especially one that isn't classy, highly populated, and serves food that is less than tasty and has wait service that's below average. In my world, easier and more payment options equal more and higher payments. But that's just me.

Now, the entire second occurrence was unexpected and 'cash only' was implied. All we wanted to do was go to Happy Hour...for the music, of course. The next thing I know we're walking by a velvet rope and red carpet, complete with paparazzi, people posing for cameras, and interviews being conducted...neither of which I was the center of attention or invited to participate. Maybe [gay] Hollywood is relocating to Chelsea, I wondered. Inside...throngs of people; mostly older, but still a lot of people. The reason soon becomes abundantly clear...The Hookies! Believe it or not, it's just like it sounds....an annual award ceremony for [gay...I'm assuming] male escorts. W...T...F!? Who knew!?

I scanned the room looking for familiar faces--given that it was a predominantly older audience, I just knew I had to know someone who would be attending this event. One of those who consistently claim they never pay for it. My friend and I assumed a male escort would only accept cash; then we thought about it...took 2009 and the drive to make easy money into consideration, and came to the conclusion that today's escorts probably accept credit/debit cards. I mean, you can get almost anything (except cheap Mexican food) with plastic these days...even a subway Metrocard. Not to mention that PayPal is everyone's friend. Perhaps some of the businesses will catch on soon and get with the program!

Grooming In Public (6/16/06)

or better known as those processes you need to go through to make yourself look better before you step out in public and scare me to death and scar me for life!

Now, allow me to simply this for you: ask me, "Sir, should I groom in public?" That's a great question, thank you for asking.

Before I explain, let me give you a few specific answers...

1) In the words of every parent with at least ONE of Bebe's Kids, "NO!"

2) In the words of [the original] Destiny's Child, "No, No, No."

3) In the words of Whitney, "Oh HELL to the NO!"

Here's why...grooming in public is tacky and it's nasty as hell.

If I'm riding on the subway, I should not see you sitting across from me with tweezers in hand, pulling hairs from your mustache, chin, and eliminating branches from that nose-hair forrest of yours. I was too pissed at the lady who was doing this. Could she not have gotten up thirty minutes earlier? And NOT ONCE did she touch her unibrow.

Gentlemen, I know shaving can be a pain, but to use an eletric shaver while driving on the interstate is dangerous...and nasty as hell. Where are the clipped hairs going? On your clothes, between the seats, on the floor. NASTY! Shave AT HOME or walk around with a light shadow.

This last tidbit, I'm going to add in this edition as well...because some people swear up AND down they are "grooming" themselves. NOSE PICKING. Ladies and gentlemen, nose picking/digging far up your nose (in public, I might add) is not attractive. [To help you better understand...yeah, it ain' cute...AT ALL.] Furthermore, it does not give you superpowers...it does not make you invisible...I CAN SEE YOU! And it's nasty as hell.

My last suggestion on grooming in public...DON'T DO IT. Do it AT HOME...in the bathroom. Door closed. And LOCKED!

A Sad Life (10/4/07)

The writers of Living Single hit it dead-on when they said "you live; you die; and if you're lucky, you get to do some good shopping in between." Granted, many never get to experience this, because they don't know how to shop. Have you seen the clothing many people in this world wear out in public? Think about it, they have to get them from somewhere...but I digress. Back to Living Single; no one had spoken truer words before and no one has since.

Yes, I know it takes money to have a certain "style," but it doesn't take money to have taste. Make it work, people! If you need help, be like Tweet...call me.

A Sad Life...many people have sad lives for various reasons. Most of which requires a licensed professional, a leather couch, and some tequila. Although, most can be cured by people just going out, getting out of their everyday routine, and having some good-ol' fashioned f-u-n!

I'm going to tell you about my Sad Life Tuesday; please note that it is 3am on Thursday. I had a busy Wednesday, and am booked this weekend...so this is my only time to write this. See if you can find the sad factor and the humor.

You know your life is SAD when...

1) You can't find the bullet/list option in this word processing blog editor

2) You don't like to work, yet you're looking for a job

3) You can't get an interview, but those who's resumes and cover letters you write...get interviews AND job offers

4) The job you're looking for, neither you nor the people you know knows anyone who can utilize (or better yet, AFFORD) your services

5) You don't grocery shop at your normal high-end/clean grocery stores because you've invoked a strategic spending strategy; so when you're in dire need you dress incognitoly (like the locals) and go to the local/dirty grocery stores only to be afraid of catching something so you high-tail it to your normal grocery store (after you change clothes, of course).

6) The saddest point of all. The above mentioned spending strategy limits your spending at major book retailers, so you end up reading a free book obtained from your former employer. Yes, it gets worse...it's a 50Cent/G-Unit publication. Can you say ghetto?...and sad???

Whew! That was all from one day. Tuesday was a slow day.

Have you ever had those days where you thought your life was sad? Wondered where you had taken a wrong turn? Baffled your mind trying to figure out why Calgon hadn't taken you away? Speaking of Calgon...I need a vacation; where should I go? Who wants to sponsor it?

[closing the doors, locking the locks, pulling the shades]

one note...two words:

On Holiday.

Addiction (10/4/07)

Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. [a special thanks to: dictionary.com. Love it!]

To many it's taboo (one of those issues we don't [or won't] talk about).
To some it's a phase (been there, done that--I'll be back).
To others it's entertainment (I know many read Zane's "Addicted")
To all of us...it's a serious, highly misunderstood disease (check out HBO's documentary, Addiction) [And no, HBO is paying me for that plug]

People have said they are or have been addicted to many things...
Bad things -- alcohol, drugs (illegal and prescription), greed/power/money/control.
Good things -- love, chocolate, sex, shoes, other people [that may be some form of stalking, but I'm not sure].

At what point do we become addicted? Is there a specific point or is there a thin line?

Hi, I'm Syieve...and I have a thing for Propel by Gatorade. It pains me to drink regular bottled water...and I'm down to my last packet of Propel.........

Sex And The City (10/4/07)

Sex and The City; no, not the show…but Sex AND The City – New York City (and probably your city, too).

In a place full of…
No Strings Attached.
Friends with benefits.
Friends maybe more.
Bi & married, but on the down-low and looking.
Casual encounters.
[Anonymous] Sex parties.
Missed connections.
And much more being invented every day.

What happened to dating, romance, intimacy, getting to know someone, monogamy, relationships, commitment…LOVE (and the act of it)? Are the people who use to willingly and openly engage in these once highly sought after behaviors now extinct? Have they become fashion faux pas? Or are they like chivalry...dead? New York City is a place like no other; a world of its own—5 different boroughs, 8 million residents, and countless daily visitors and tourists. All rushing trying to cram 37 hours of activities into a 15 hour time frame, struggling to make enough money to pay rent and buy food and clothing, desiring an active social life, and fighting to stand out from the crowd—personally and professionally.

It's an easy place to get lost in; with visitors losing themselves in our world and residents getting lost in the day-to-day hassle of New York City living…have we lost our minds in the process? We are known to accept and overlook things out of the ordinary. So when it comes to love, relationships, and sex, it wouldn't be strange to see signs in people's windows or hanging around their necks that read:
-It's FREE, but I'll cost you
-Buy Milk; Get Cow FREE

Relationships and quality people to date are rarities. I, above all people, know that individuals have their preferences and standards, but the candidate pool is practically empty because people today seem to be crazy, shallow (for no reason), afraid of commitment, have no idea of who or what they want, or constantly waiting for the next best/hotter/more successful someone to come along {that is such a NYC thing}. That's call living in a dream, because that ONE never comes along. They would be perfect; so besides the fact they don't exist, they would either be taken, not interested, or doing the same thing you're doing—waiting and living in a dream. Yet no one wants to stop the circle, step out of line, and make a move…okay, it would actually take two people for it to be effective, but one is a start. We should start with the Passive-Aggressive Missed Connectors. These are the people who make an effort to get to know someone; you know…offer an introduction, convey an interest, will ask you out. However, they do it after the fact. In a city with millions of residents and visitors, there is no point of introducing yourself or asking someone out after your initial encounter or they have left your immediate area. What's the likelihood you will ever see them again? Yes, there is a slim chance they will read the ad you posted in the classifieds of your local paper or company newsletter; or better yet, hear you mentioning this to your bathroom mirror…but realistically?

Nevertheless, it's a start…let's work on it! Then there's the melting pot of other folks: cheaters, closet freaks, afraid of [commitment, rejection, something absurd], and those who are all about the NSA (No Strings Attached) fun! Are you kidding me? That's what I call Free (and often anonymous) Sex; ironically, in today's society with so much going on and round (diseases, HIV/AIDS, etc.) it's not likely to be free. Although, it could be free, but contain unwanted accessories and parting gifts.

Lastly, my favorite group: those who spiel something along the lines of:
Let's be friends, maybe more.
We can be exclusive, but not date.
What does that mean? They must be confused, because they get me confused. Is that supposed to mean 'sex with a string or two'? Speak your mind! Speak a language other than your own personal language that makes sense to no one but you! Say what you want!

People, stop being afraid of who you are: embrace yourself; love yourself; love someone else…give life and love a try. The way society is behaving doesn't leave much to be desired for the future; even the next 10 years look frightening. Are you: A decent, dateable person (one that can be taken home to meet the family without embarrassment or having to be paid)? Do you like and love who you are on the inside? Can you express yourself openly and truthfully? Are you capable of getting to know someone intimately and honestly? If you answered "yes" to these questions, then you better move! Step outside of the circle! Start a trend. Make a difference. Save tomorrow; the world can be a better place because of YOU.

One more question…I ask you: has sex lost its value?

My Home, My Closet

Small Spaces, Big Prices, Bad Locations

A potentially new feature which will chronicle my quest to find a new apartment in a city where it takes an annual salary of over $120k to be considered middle class, studios can go for $2,000/month, people don’t understand that single-family homes are only meant for one (a, uno) family, and my budget is likely to have me in the boondocks of New Jersey (Jersey City or Hoboken) or in a building where people are raped in the elevators or in a situation where I have to empty my landlord’s port-a-potty. That’s just what I’ve stumbled across so far…the rest of the journey should be quite entertaining. It’s guaranteed to be tedious and depressing. Perhaps MTV or VH1 would like to follow?

Here No More

Love at first sight. A match made in heaven. Some of life's most enjoyable moments. Addictions. Just a few ways to describe our relationships with some of our favorite retailers; unfortunately, with the current state of the economy, it seems as if many are struggling to survive...and some have checked out (especially here in NYC). Here are a few: The Sharper Image, Ben & Jerry's (Times Square), Circuit City (can't say I'm saddened by this one...disliked them with a serious passion. Talk about horrid customer service!), and Dale and Thomas Popcorn (Times Square). The closing of Dale and Thomas (Times Square) threw me in a tizzy; it hurt my heart. If you run across one of their other stores in the country, do yourself a favor and try their popcorn...I recommend the Chocolate Chunk ‘N Caramel; it's one of my and Oprah's favorite things...and you know O and I won't mislead you. They may be gone, but definitely not forgotten...cause I can't help trying to think of ways to satisfy my addiction.