Sex And The City (10/4/07)

Sex and The City; no, not the show…but Sex AND The City – New York City (and probably your city, too).

In a place full of…
No Strings Attached.
Friends with benefits.
Friends maybe more.
Bi & married, but on the down-low and looking.
Casual encounters.
[Anonymous] Sex parties.
Missed connections.
And much more being invented every day.

What happened to dating, romance, intimacy, getting to know someone, monogamy, relationships, commitment…LOVE (and the act of it)? Are the people who use to willingly and openly engage in these once highly sought after behaviors now extinct? Have they become fashion faux pas? Or are they like chivalry...dead? New York City is a place like no other; a world of its own—5 different boroughs, 8 million residents, and countless daily visitors and tourists. All rushing trying to cram 37 hours of activities into a 15 hour time frame, struggling to make enough money to pay rent and buy food and clothing, desiring an active social life, and fighting to stand out from the crowd—personally and professionally.

It's an easy place to get lost in; with visitors losing themselves in our world and residents getting lost in the day-to-day hassle of New York City living…have we lost our minds in the process? We are known to accept and overlook things out of the ordinary. So when it comes to love, relationships, and sex, it wouldn't be strange to see signs in people's windows or hanging around their necks that read:
-It's FREE, but I'll cost you
-Buy Milk; Get Cow FREE

Relationships and quality people to date are rarities. I, above all people, know that individuals have their preferences and standards, but the candidate pool is practically empty because people today seem to be crazy, shallow (for no reason), afraid of commitment, have no idea of who or what they want, or constantly waiting for the next best/hotter/more successful someone to come along {that is such a NYC thing}. That's call living in a dream, because that ONE never comes along. They would be perfect; so besides the fact they don't exist, they would either be taken, not interested, or doing the same thing you're doing—waiting and living in a dream. Yet no one wants to stop the circle, step out of line, and make a move…okay, it would actually take two people for it to be effective, but one is a start. We should start with the Passive-Aggressive Missed Connectors. These are the people who make an effort to get to know someone; you know…offer an introduction, convey an interest, will ask you out. However, they do it after the fact. In a city with millions of residents and visitors, there is no point of introducing yourself or asking someone out after your initial encounter or they have left your immediate area. What's the likelihood you will ever see them again? Yes, there is a slim chance they will read the ad you posted in the classifieds of your local paper or company newsletter; or better yet, hear you mentioning this to your bathroom mirror…but realistically?

Nevertheless, it's a start…let's work on it! Then there's the melting pot of other folks: cheaters, closet freaks, afraid of [commitment, rejection, something absurd], and those who are all about the NSA (No Strings Attached) fun! Are you kidding me? That's what I call Free (and often anonymous) Sex; ironically, in today's society with so much going on and round (diseases, HIV/AIDS, etc.) it's not likely to be free. Although, it could be free, but contain unwanted accessories and parting gifts.

Lastly, my favorite group: those who spiel something along the lines of:
Let's be friends, maybe more.
We can be exclusive, but not date.
What does that mean? They must be confused, because they get me confused. Is that supposed to mean 'sex with a string or two'? Speak your mind! Speak a language other than your own personal language that makes sense to no one but you! Say what you want!

People, stop being afraid of who you are: embrace yourself; love yourself; love someone else…give life and love a try. The way society is behaving doesn't leave much to be desired for the future; even the next 10 years look frightening. Are you: A decent, dateable person (one that can be taken home to meet the family without embarrassment or having to be paid)? Do you like and love who you are on the inside? Can you express yourself openly and truthfully? Are you capable of getting to know someone intimately and honestly? If you answered "yes" to these questions, then you better move! Step outside of the circle! Start a trend. Make a difference. Save tomorrow; the world can be a better place because of YOU.

One more question…I ask you: has sex lost its value?