Sisters Act

The Movement to Understand Men

After the book and definitely after the movie, more and more people are hearing and saying "he's just not that into you." The book was popular and the movie is a smash hit, yet I still don't understand why my girlfriends (and my girlfriends) and many other ladies still aren't getting it. Steve Harvey even has a bestselling book directed at helping ladies: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. It's a good book; I'm enjoying it and highly recommend it. Contrary to popular or humorous belief, it's not a user-guide to becoming a successful drag queen (but if the f*ck me pumps fits...work the runway, sweetie); its purpose is to provide women with the tools and inside knowledge on how to get what they want out of relationships with men. So, why are all my [single] ladies not getting it?

As a rule, men are stupid. Point blank; and that should be enough said, but men are good at playing the game. So, ladies, wake up and pay attention! Don't get lost in the decorations; men are all about words. Listen to what they are saying, so you can hear what they are not saying. If he says, "I will call you later," that's what he means. He DID NOT say, "I will call you later...tonight." To a man, "later" can be tomorrow, next week, next month, or next lifetime...but it generally means never.

Sometimes you have to read between the lines. If he says, "I'm busy" or something vague of the sort. That's a load of bull-crappola. He's only interested in tasting your homemade cookies; otherwise, if he's actually interested in you, he'll make time for you--as he does for anything else he's interested in. Watch him and his actions. Now, if he ever uses the tired "I'm working late"...especially on specific days (if you're interested in knowing which days, ask me)...coup de grace! (It's French...see Two Can Play That Game starring Vivica A. Fox and Morris Chestnut to fully understand.) He may be 'working late,' alright...7 times out of 10 (note: my statistics are most likely off as I'm pulling them out of my head to make a point) he's "busy" spending time with someone else and not with you. This one is my favorite, so pay attention now and when your time comes. I call it, "the introduction." It's really self-explanatory; it's when he introduces you to his people--family, friends, and coworkers. If he introduces you as a commoner (anything that puts you in a class other than your very own; a class of ONE), without laying some 'claim' to you; we have a problem. Introductions: "This is [insert name here]." That's swell; he knows your name, but it's not good enough; "This is my friend [insert name here]." Problem! He used the F word, and it wasn't fiancé. He has many friends; our goal is to be more than friends and obviously it's not going to happen with this j-to-the-e.r.k. So: 1) keep face 2) gracefully (that's a big key) turn around, and 3) sashay-chantey as you Naomi Campbell walk your way out the door. Tell your "friend" you'll see him 'around the way' with all his other homies.

Again, men aren't hard to understand; just pay attention to what they actually say and do. Don't misinterpret, don't get lost in dreams and illusions, and don't see or hear stuff that's not there. Once you listen to what they're actually saying, you'll be amazed at how stupid they are and how stupid the things they say are. Now...if you really want to understand men, go out and get yourself a few side (or maintenance) men. After all, men are like shoes...every diva needs a closet full.